opinions please

chazall

marliepanda wrote: »

As I said, you have of course, reason to ask her to contribute. Ask Lee to talk to her, mention the fact she has these expensive items and ask if she can contribute to the mortgage (heck, PAY the mortgage as rent)

Has he ever asked her to contribute? Why do you say she 'has no way to contribute' if she can afford expensive Sky packages? She clearly HAS a way to contribute?

Lee made the agreement, not you. Maybe he shouldnt have done it? but he has, and he has to live with it.

Anyway you asked for opinions, and you are getting them, so cut out all the 'you dont know me, dont judge me!!!!' crap.

What difference will it actually make to your life? You are moving into private rental now, yes. So you have chosen a suitable property for your family. You have some expendable income after bills. What difference will the extra £420 make to 'your life'?

What about the difference to your life that could happen from making your MIL upset with your family?

the things like sky is all the money she has not got enough to pay mortgage.

IF YOU READ THE COMMENTS I THINK IM IN MY RIGHT TO SAY DONT JUDGE ME!! I WASN'T BEING RUDE SO WHY SHOULD I ALLOW THE REST TO BE RUDE TO ME.
£420 WILL MAKE A BIG DIFFENCE LEE WORKS HARD FOR THAT MONEY WE DESERVE A HOLIDAY OR TREAT.

Maybe his mum should of thought about these things throughout her life and she wouldnt be in this position now.

chazall

marliepanda wrote: »

Many people live with their older parents. They want to look after them, help them. Its a cultural expectation in many countries. If my mum needed help when she was 61, 71, 81, 91, 101, she could come and live with me. Its my mum. Its my family.

Its not like living with a grizzly bear. She may be fit and healthy now, but believe me, from experience, that can change in a heartbeat.

bear in mind there are also 5 other siblings here aswell but they are helping. why us?? the youngest who have just started there family life.

marliepanda

chazall wrote: »

the things like sky is all the money she has not got enough to pay mortgage.

IF YOU READ THE COMMENTS I THINK IM IN MY RIGHT TO SAY DONT JUDGE ME!! I WASN'T BEING RUDE SO WHY SHOULD I ALLOW THE REST TO BE RUDE TO ME.
£420 WILL MAKE A BIG DIFFENCE LEE WORKS HARD FOR THAT MONEY WE DESERVE A HOLIDAY OR TREAT.

Maybe his mum should of thought about these things throughout her life and she wouldnt be in this position now.

You can convey anger without capitals you know.

Like I said, if she is paying all of these expensive things which you are begrudging her (not necessarily wrongly) then Lee needs to speak to her. Say 'we cant afford a holiday, but you went to Canada' and 'you have a better Sky package than us'

And you do not see how asking his mother to leave their home so you can have a holiday or a treat is selfish? Its risking a family relationship for a week in Tenerife...

marliepanda

chazall wrote: »

bear in mind there are also 5 other siblings here aswell but they are helping. why us?? the youngest who have just started there family life.

The siblings who are going to get a big fat zero when his mum dies, as they have not contributed. Lee has helped, so he will get the whole estate it seems.

Been there, got the tshirt with unhelpful siblings who wash their hands of the elders. Its a bad situation, BUT they are not going to get anything are they? Lee will, thats how you need to think of it.

You are not just in the situation because of his mum. You are in the situation because of a deal that lee and his parents struck up together, to mutually benefit both of them. Why should he get the benefit for it all without upholding his part of the deal? A cheap house for nothing?


Aaaaaaaand once you are working when Lois is in school you will have a whole wage to get treats and holidays with!

chazall

pimento wrote: »

Sorry OP, but I think you're a piece of work.

meaning what exactly????? coming from you who is more interested in joking about spellings and if my 3 yr old can spell mortgage!!!!

Just so your aware my spelling a little eratic because im tying fast as trying to remember things.

chazall

marliepanda wrote: »

The siblings who are going to get a big fat zero when his mum dies, as they have not contributed. Lee has helped, so he will get the whole estate it seems.

Been there, got the tshirt with unhelpful siblings who wash their hands of the elders. Its a bad situation, BUT they are not going to get anything are they? Lee will, thats how you need to think of it.

You are not just in the situation because of his mum. You are in the situation because of a deal that lee and his parents struck up together, to mutually benefit both of them. Why should he get the benefit for it all without upholding his part of the deal? A cheap house for nothing?

they have life insurance and material things etc.

marliepanda

chazall wrote: »

they have life insurance and material things etc.

And Lee will get no part of the life insurance? No part of any special belongings?

Also you have gone from:

It probely sounds harsh. But this is my point

we are either going to be homeless ourselves are absolutely broke from renting it will put a hold on our life's completly.

So instead of being homeless and broke, which is what you originally claimed was going to happen, it is now that you won't be able to have treats and holidays? Which is it?

BitterAndTwisted

I also think you're a piece of work. And by that I mean mercenary, petulant, resentful, unrealistic and horribly interfering. I sincerely hope this situation causes you as much unhappiness as possible for as long as possible.

ViolaLass

OP, I fail to see what advice anyone here can give you that will help. Go and talk to Lee - he's the only one who can do anything about all this.

dancingfairy

Hi. I think you need to sit down and have a heart to heart with your fiancee. You need to explain to him how bad it makes you feel and how much you as a family are suffering.
It is a horrid situation to be in but at the end of the day your fiancee needs to sort it out with his mum. What will be the best way to resolve the situation? Do you (as a family) want to sell and release the equity? Do you want to move back in? What can you do to appeal to the mothers better nature/persuade her to move? Can you charge her a nominal rent? You need to find a solution which is fair to everyone ideally.
Best of Luck
df