Money woes of the other half

Froom2

Tamsin_Temrin wrote: »

Suggest you spend the next few weeks watching actions not words - about a month of watching should tell you what he actually wants.

This. I think I'm going to write things down as they happen, so I don't forget.
He has two months max to sort himself out. I'm going to tell him this very clearly. I will also tell him that I think it is unfair of him to be using his mum's credit card..

Thanks again guys. I know I'm not in a wise situation, and yes I'm learning a lot from this!! For a start, there's a HELL of a lot of things I'd do differently were I to start again.

Froom2

I sent him another email this morning, since I got a wordy response to the last one.
This email was very firmly (I hope) outlining what I expect from him, and asking for his input on things that we need to agree on. Here's part of it:

"You're right - we did move in before we were financially stable, but I also think that we moved in before we had a chance to think about what we are each contributing to the relationship and household. It's neither of our fault - it's just something that happened. But I think we can take some time out and if we discuss this this evening, then we can get to grips with it so we can start properly after the weekend away
It is important to me that we sort these things out and discuss it."

Fingers crossed for tonight and a mature response from him. I'm not going to back down and let him sweet-talk me.
Thank you for your continuing support, I'll update tomorrow I hope.

I know some of you think I should cut my losses right here, but I'm doing the best I can to deal with this situation in a way that I can feel like I did what I needed to do, and did all I could reasonably expect myself to do in order to not feel like I gave up too easily or didn't give him enough of a chance. I'm not losing any more money on him really, so I've nothing more to lose bar my sanity

~Froom~

londoner1998

Good luck! We all have the right to keep trying if that is what we want to do. I had some sticky situations too, but with a lot of patience and a a good will to communicate, things can be resolved. Relationships are difficult and I think what it counts is to try and do our best. At the very least, you will know if it is worth to keep trying. I hope this evening goes well for you.

Ax

jetplane

My 19 year old nephew has been behaving similarly, so his mother has told him to move out. He now has a flat share and she has told him that he is not allowed to live with her again unless he grows up and learns some responsibility.

She has not cut ties with him but he must treat her with respect and her purse and bank account are closed to him.