Money woes of the other half

Froom2

londoner1998 wrote: »

May be he needs a bit of space to do things without you telling him to do them. I have been guilty of this in the past. and although not always done to my standard or on my ideal timeframe, at least he tries... Good luck, keep moving forward. You need to learn together and no one said it is easy to leave with someone.

Agreed, I think I am not very good at being patient sometimes. So I will leave him to this, and see how things go. Like was said before, I'm probably guilty of not treating him as an adult either. But this was a lovely email to receive from him, and I think it's a start. Ain't gonna be fixed overnight though of course.

Thanks
Froom

Sambucus_Nigra

Lovely email = written version of the puppy dog eyes.

the_cat

Jeez woman, he is still leeching off his mum fgs! And not for essentials either, for fags. He isn't going to change. He sees you both as convenient cash dispensers. It's absolutely ok to support someone who is trying to search for work and pulling their weight in other ways. But lets be absolutely honest.... he isn't. Actions speak a damn sight louder than words

One soppy email doesn't alter anything. It's easy enough to put together a few platitudes to shut the [STRIKE]cheque book[/STRIKE] other half up for a while

Sorry, I know that sounds cruel. I don't mean to be unkind, but I see someone who is being taken for a mug. I hope for your sake I am wrong

Tish_P

Well, it takes all kinds, but I'd chuck him for the dismal spelling alone if I were you.

Emmzi

email = loads of reasons why he cannot change. Bit pathetic for a grown man.

If he is depressed he should get to the doctors. And he isn't committed enough to marry you. So enough said.

I would not go on the trip. I'd pack his stuff while we was away.

don't you deserve a grown up who will look after you sometimes? I have no ides what you are getting from this except a mopey and very expensive hot water bottle.

Emmzi

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Lovely email = written version of the puppy dog eyes.

I agree with this a thousand times.

BlueC

Sounds to me like this guy's head isn't in the right place for him to be in a relationship. Ever heard the saying "You have to love yourself before someone else can love you"? Well, it's true and I think it applies perfectly here.

He needs to sort himself out, and then, and only then, will he be ready to "show his true potential" (as you put it) in a relationship. He needs to learn to run his own life, to learn what it means to be a truly independent adult and to learn about the satisfaction that this brings. He can't do this while you and his mother prop him up. You're actually stopping him from going through this important life learning experience, however well meaning you are (and it is clear that you are).

Meanwhile you'd probably be better off just putting this one down to experience and moving on with your life.

Emmzi

by the way - counselling = effort = he may need to change.

No wonder he doesn't want to go!

Set him free. If he manages to realise his potential on his own, you can take it from there.

mgdavid

for goodness' sake go and find a decent balanced bloke (yes there are a few!) who will treat you like the beautiful saint that you clearly are; put all this nonsense behind you.

Tamsin_Temrin

love the email - hes got you so well trained.

Suggest you spend the next few weeks watching actions not words - about a month of watching should tell you what he actually wants.