Split up with fiance, called off wedding, now venue wants £1600 cancellation fee help

Taadaa

No you are definitely not being unreasonable. You have broken off the relationship because you want shot of her on a permanent basis, so she can't be hanging around for a couple of months because it suits her. Presumably it was this sort of behaviour that led to the demise of the relationship in the first place. Don't the council have to authorise private properties for child caring facilities? Has she done that? Does your insurance know she is running a business from it? As I said, yes she is upset and it is a sad time but don't let her trample all over you!

Edit to respond to GG - so bewildered she is making plans to save up and move out already... I agree she - well both of them - are still feeling raw about it but they will still be split up whether he asks now or in six months time.

Stephb1986_2

I understand that you must of called it off for a very good reason, it's seems that she's being very unreasonable by not giving you the ring back even though you called off the wedding, I wouldn't want to keep a engagement ring if we called it off it would be too many bad memories.

If she's not playing ball by atleast footing some of the cost towards the cancelled wedding then tell her to take her child minding business else where and taking you for a mug. Get back in your own bed and make her sleep on the spare room floor you pay the mortgage and the bills when she contributes she gets to sleep in there.

The venue will probably resell the date on fingers crossed that means you might not have to pay as much.

I really feel for you as I know me and my fiance are about to book our venue I've got the cheque here ready to go, I wouldn't want to be in your position.

Steph x

neneromanova

I would tell her to move back with her parents and move back into the main bedroom. Then get yourself a lodger to help lighten the payments a bit.

To be honest, My ex bought me a ring for about £600. I asked if he wanted it back and he said no. So I sold it but the most I made was about £50 so if she sells it, it's not going to be that much to be honest unless it's an antique.

just keep thinking of the reasons you decided to end things and move on with your life. Good Luck.

DylanO

If she feels the ring is hers then that's fine. The house is yours and it's time she moved out. Change the locks when she's out.

newcook

Start charging her rent on both her business and her staying there.
Most childminders are able to put through a % of household bills such as water, electric, gas etc through their books so if she’s not contributing but is claiming for them its rather naughty of her!

I’d also give her a months notice to take herself and her business elsewhere.

paulthe6th

on the childminding front, it's all above board, ofsted registerred NCMA insured, qualified, HSE, self assessment, book keeping etc. the works: it's all above board.

She's been saying she's really worried that I'm going to change my mind in 2 weeks time and tell her to get out, at which point she won't be able to make a living and then she'll be in trouble. I've told her we haven't fallen out and there's no pressure from me to make her leave, but I genuinely 100% cannot afford the mortgage (£777.89 a month) the gas/electric (£120/month) water (£40/month) council tax (£127/month) virgin media (£45-50 a month) and then this whopping great £1600 bill on my own.

If she's not willing to try & contribute to the financial upkeep and the wedding bill then I really won't have a choice but to get a lodger in and divert all the lodger's money to help pay for all this stuff..

Bennifred

Why on earth isn't she covering her own living costs? She should be paying her share of bills whether she's saving to move out or not!

paulthe6th

Bennifred wrote: »

Why on earth isn't she covering her own living costs? She should be paying her share of bills whether she's saving to move out or not!

Well she left her job in august last year, had to wait quite a while before the next childminder registration meeting and then it's taken 2-3 months to be ofsted registerred, so she's only been earning since January, and even when she started earning it was only about £300-£400 a month..

Now she's got a 3rd child on the books she's looking at a grand a month (3rd child just started today). Why do I always end up in these situations?

Never ever again...

Gigervamp

I'm not saying you shouldn't have split up, but you have left it rather late as far as the wedding goes. If you were going to be paying for it and you are the one who has ended the relationship, then I think you should just suck it up and pay the venue.

Your splitting up is also going to have repercussions on the children that your ex is minding as well as their parents, who are now going to have to find alternative childcare.

Even if your ex were to move out tomorrow, it'll take a while to put everything in place to carry on her childminding business and until then, she's going to have no income. How exactly are you expecting her to pay you?

emlou2009

If she's not willing to contribute tell her to get out! She's getting a free ride off you at the moment, free home, free business premises.