Split up with fiance, called off wedding, now venue wants £1600 cancellation fee help

paulthe6th

Hi everyone,

last week I broke up with my fiance due to being deeply unhappy about various things. We're still on ok terms and still living together while she finds somewhere to live..

I've spoken to the venue and they've advised that based on the wedding contract we're into the bit of our notice period which is 60% of the full package balance (full amount £3500) so they want £1600 from me.

I'm going to email them and ask what they can do to maybe bring that amount down because I just can't afford it. Is there anything I can do? I've been in a bit of a bad place over the last week, but day by day things are getting worse..

Not sure if I can keep all this up for much longer.

Edit: wedding would have been 16th June, balance needs settling by 2nd june (14 days before wedding) and they've said there's nothing they can do to reduce it.

Stephb1986_2

Is there no chance of you working things out? How long till the wedding? Maybe a short break from eachother would be a good thing to figure out what you both want.

I hope you sort things

Steph x

JodyBPM

I'm sorry to hear that you've called the wedding off.

I think that if they resell the date, that you might be able to negotiate a smaller loss. I believe that they have to try to resell it, and mitigage your losses, but hopefully someone with a better legal understanding will be able to confirm.

Presumably the amount would be split 50/50 with your ex anyway, so you'd only have to find half the amount? It shouldn't be too much of a problem to pay it though, as if you could find the £3500 if the wedding was still taking place, you can surely find the lesser £1600 amount from the same place?

Good luck.

Taadaa

There is a Special Occasions thread where others may be able to advise.

From what I have read of others' experiences, if it's in the contract you are legally bound to pay it. You can ask for a discount but I expect it will be at their discretion and will very much be dependant on whether they can sell the date to another couple. I would check to see if you both signed as you could request half the amount from your former future wife.

I have to ask...if you can't afford 1600, how were you going to afford 3500?

Was also going to suggest that you consider postponing for now?

paulthe6th

my ex did suggest that we take some time off and start again from the beginning but I can just tell it's not going to work. I'm in bits inside but I know it's the right decision in the long run. She's going out and seeing her friends etc. every night, I binned all my friends off for her so I'm just staying in and going to bed early every night.

I can find the money if I absolutely have to, as £3500 for a big day with food and drink and staff wages etc. to pay for is fine, but £1600 for absolutely nothing, I'd see more benefit chucking it off the top of a tall building..

I have emailed them to ask if there's anything at all we can do to reduce the amount and how much time we have to pay.

My ex & her family are of the view that "you broke off the wedding so you pay for it". Also it was me and my dad who were paying for the wedding anyway, her family were buying dresses and bits to sort themselves out since they don't have much money. I have enquired what she's intending to do with the ring (it was £1000 when I bought it) and she's said it's hers to do with what she likes.

She's also said that she's saving every penny to go towards a bond/rent so she can leave, so I'm paying the mortgage and all the bills on my own for the next 2 months (or however long it is til she moves out) so I'm down a deep hole here with not a lot of money to fill it..

Taadaa

Well understandably she is upset. Is it a joint mortgage? I would say if she wants to live there, she pays half. She might calm down and see reason. If she doesn't, and the mortgage is in your name only, tell her to sling her hook. If she wants to play hard ball, give it back. Have you got a spare room you can rent out?

Swans1912

paulthe6th wrote: »

my ex did suggest that we take some time off and start again from the beginning but I can just tell it's not going to work. I'm in bits inside but I know it's the right decision in the long run. She's going out and seeing her friends etc. every night, I binned all my friends off for her so I'm just staying in and going to bed early every night.

I can find the money if I absolutely have to, as £3500 for a big day with food and drink and staff wages etc. to pay for is fine, but £1600 for absolutely nothing, I'd see more benefit chucking it off the top of a tall building..

I have emailed them to ask if there's anything at all we can do to reduce the amount and how much time we have to pay.

My ex & her family are of the view that "you broke off the wedding so you pay for it". Also it was me and my dad who were paying for the wedding anyway, her family were buying dresses and bits to sort themselves out since they don't have much money. I have enquired what she's intending to do with the ring (it was £1000 when I bought it) and she's said it's hers to do with what she likes.

She's also said that she's saving every penny to go towards a bond/rent so she can leave, so I'm paying the mortgage and all the bills on my own for the next 2 months (or however long it is til she moves out) so I'm down a deep hole here with not a lot of money to fill it..

Assuming the house is in your name only then I'd be inclined to tell her its your house to do with what you like then to sling her hook.

paulthe6th

she runs her childminding business from our house. I have the mortgage on the house (bought the house before I met her) so it's all in my name.

I'm currently sleeping in the spare room on the floor.

Gonna put it to her that I can't pay this £1600 on my own and although it was my decision, I paid £1000 for that ring and if she's just going to flog it and spend the money on junk, and leave me with the bill (again; I've paid for her car, mobile phone contracts, stuff for her childminding business etc.) then I might have to tell her I need a lodger now in order to help pay this big bill on my own.

Am I being unreasonable?

Swans1912

paulthe6th wrote: »

she runs her childminding business from our house. I have the mortgage on the house (bought the house before I met her) so it's all in my name.

I'm currently sleeping in the spare room on the floor.

Gonna put it to her that I can't pay this £1600 on my own and although it was my decision, I paid £1000 for that ring and if she's just going to flog it and spend the money on junk, and leave me with the bill (again; I've paid for her car, mobile phone contracts, stuff for her childminding business etc.) then I might have to tell her I need a lodger now in order to help pay this big bill on my own.

Am I being unreasonable?

No, if anything you're being way too nice! I understand you called the wedding off, but that doesn't mean you should be guilt tripped into paying for everything.

GobbledyGook

How long until your wedding was due to be?

It's not £1600 for nothing though - it's £1600 to mitigate the venues losses because they've lost a whole weddings income. Since you were booked they couldn't 'sell' the day to anyone else. Ask them about what happens if they rebook the date and if they do any sort of advertising to let people know your date is now available.

GobbledyGook

I have to say, and obviously it's just my opinon, but I think asking your ex of a week for a contribution to the costs of the wedding you've called off when you were paying for those costs anyway would be adding serious insult to injury.

Same with the ring - a week or so down the line is not the time to be asking about imo. She probably hasn't even got her head around the fact that you've split up yet. She'll still be at the bewildered and angry stage.