DSD hit by a car!

Tina20

So if it's an arrangement between her and her granny, why are you getting involved? If your DSD has the barefaced cheek to get herself hurt, and the barefaced cheek not to sue them for it, then it's between her and her granny whether or not she can fulfill this job role.
I'd be very surprised if the granny gets angry at her granddaughter because she didn't sue someone else's granny. This whole situation sounds like madness, and your poor DSD is stuck in the middle!

I think you need to take a step back, for your sanity and your dsd's sanity too.

duchy

Well if there are consequences it might be a good learning curve about "You want to be an adult-along with the perks come responsibilities" but this job won't be the only summer job around and if she ends up earniing her holidays spending money in something less interesting than "the job" well so be it.

daska

It's not quite that simple but I don't really want to go into any more of the details. Thank you for accepting that DSD isn't exactly playing fair. Granny is very angry about DSD's lackadaisical attitude to the injury and recovery time and it takes a hell of a lot to rile her. And yes I guess I am angry on her behalf, probably because I feel it reflects on us. But on the other hand granny isn't so fussed about reporting the accident, which I believe is an important principle. So it's swings and roundabouts really.

Funnily enough I just had a phonecall from a friend and she blew her tea out of her nose when I said people on here were saying I treated my kids as little children rather than appropriately to their age. She sees it rather differently, her observation is that I've always expected them to behave more maturely than the majority of parents do of their offspring, sometimes unreasonably so. And being an experienced social worker who's known us for many years I guess she's best qualified to make that judgement. DS1's dad also thinks I give him too much independence for his age and DSD/DS2's dad thinks I expect too much of the kids. So I can't win whatever I do.

duchy

Of course you can't-You're a parent-it's in the contract !!

daska

duchy wrote: »

Of course you can't-You're a parent-it's in the contract !!

:rotfl:

Yes and I signed it 3 times, twice in blood.

Gavin83

What is the job she can't do?

daska

I'm not ignoring the question, I'm deliberately not answering it, it isn't actually relevant and it's a detail too far.

Tina20

daska wrote: »

Granny is very angry about DSD's lackadaisical attitude to the injury and recovery time and it takes a hell of a lot to rile her.
And yes I guess I am angry on her behalf, probably because I feel it reflects on us.

She sees it rather differently, her observation is that I've always expected them to behave more maturely than the majority of parents do of their offspring, sometimes unreasonably so. And being an experienced social worker who's known us for many years I guess she's best qualified to make that judgement. DS1's dad also thinks I give him too much independence for his age and DSD/DS2's dad thinks I expect too much of the kids.

1: It sounds crazy to be "very angry" at someone for not wanting to persue legal action when hurt. It really, genuinely does sound bonkers! Obviously you are missing something out, which is reflecting badly on your posts. This is what I've read:

16 yr old girl comes home and says she was hit by a car.
Girl has arm injury
As a result of the injury she may not be able to work
Granny paid for her training to do this work, and is angry she might not be able to work
Family are angry at 16 yr old girl for not sueing the person who they think drove into her.
Parents are angry because this somehow makes THEM 'look bad'
Family think she is lackadaisical, self-centered, selfish, and lazy because of this.

Am I missing something!? This is madness! Why on earth are you all so angry?? A young woman was HURT and you are all angry? Makes absolutely no sense to me at all.

2: What has your treatment of your other kids got to do with this? You may well give them too much independence.
But that has nothing to do with the fact you are wading into this situation with your DSD and her granny, getting all riled up, making it about YOU, getting angry at this girl and slagging her off online.

You are treating her like a child in this instance because you are belittling her decisions, demeaning her personality and trying to control her into making the decisions you want her to make.
I.E Calling her selfish because she doesn't want to persue legal action.

I must be missing a very large piece of the puzzle, and until you divulge the information which shows that she is such a little horror, I will not be changing my mind :rotfl:

purple.sarah

I am surprised at your unsympathetic attitude. Your "dear" step daughter has been in an accident and is probably still shaken up. Yes she should report it for public safety reasons and maybe she will come around. However it's uncalled for to call her "selfcentered and selfish", complain that she's unable (not unwilling) to get a job till she's healed and say she doesn't deserve driving lessons. She wasn't the one driving! It's not her fault! I'm not surprised she's afraid to open up to you about it! You are coming across as very critical. Since she worked so hard to get that job opportunity she is probably upset she can't do it so don't bring it up.

Marisco

daska wrote: »

But on the other hand granny isn't so fussed about reporting the accident,

So what's this thread all about then? If it's her gran who has paid for the training, and she is not fussed about perusing the person who caused the accident (assuming there was a car accident, and it didn't happen some other way that SD doesn't want you to know about!) then TBH I cannot understand what your gripe is? Is it because she is not apologetic enough, has too much of an "I don't care" attitude? She is 16, and I can just about remember when I was 16, I didn't give a toss either, teenagers are selfish by default!!