DSD hit by a car!

fawd1

daska wrote: »

She is lazy, that's a fact, getting her to do anything is hard work. She is selfish and self-centred, she simply doesn't see how her actions affect others despite having it explained to her .

She is 16. All 16 year olds are lazy and self centred. I'd be more surprised if she wasn't. In actual fact though, she has, in my opinion, shown surprising maturity. In reality I think it is admirable that she doesn't want to get someone she knows into trouble (whether sensible or not) and I also feel, very strongly in fact, that by now wanting to sue someone for what was an ACCIDENT, she has shown more moral decency and fibre than the rest of the adults who are complaining about her have put together.

daisiegg

jellyhead wrote: »

Fair enough, but as you mentioned a holiday job I am assuming it's not just outside school hours - so she'll have 2 weeks of school yet before she goes on study leave. Won't that be long enough for her to heal?

Or have I got the wrong end of the stick and it's a job they might want her to start outside of school hours straight away?

Some schools go on study leave earlier than that.

I may have got it completely wrong but I'm guessing it might be hairdressing/doing nails or something similar (was trying to think of jobs that a 16 year old could have been dreaming of doing for years, that required taking a training course you have to pay for, and that you can't do with an injured arm!) However if Daska doesn't want to say what the job is that's her business and I don't see how it's that relevant to the discussion.

jellyhead

daisiegg wrote: »

Some schools go on study leave earlier than that.
However if Daska doesn't want to say what the job is that's her business and I don't see how it's that relevant to the discussion.

Agreed - I just thought maybe she had some time between now and leaving school, that's all

Mr_Toad

Having read this thread through I think you have two choices.

Report it to the Police - Everyone then suffers the ramifications of that, good and bad. You might think you're doing it to punish the 'driver' but once done you can't then back out and there may not be a driver.

Forget about it and move on. You don't strike me as the type though.

I think most people accept that teenagers are lazy, sneaky, devious, lying, selfish, inconsiderate, psychotic, stupid and moody some, most or all of the time. Sometimes all of the above within any 15 minute period!

I think she's done something stupid. Perhaps fallen off a wall while dancing to some tune in her head, walked into a parked car or got hit by a batty old women in a car, who knows.

I think in typical teenager fashion whatever it was she's given it several nanoseconds of thought and come up with a cunning plan to explain it and make it go away. It probably seemed like a foolproof plan at the time, don't they all, and now can't understand why nobody, you in particular, won't let it drop or doesn't believe her!

Being a teenager the time to come clean and fess up is a bus that has long since departed so she's stuck with plan A.

Then there's Granny. You say she doesn't seem keen to involve the police, perhaps DSD has confided in her rather than you.

My advice is to practice what you preach, stop treating her like a little girl and let her work it out herself along with any consequences.

In the end the choice is yours and you will have to live with it.

daska

Thank you daisiegg

It is indeed a job she would need to start immediately, hence it being a problem. And she really genuinely can't do it with her arm in a sling, H&S would have a field-day! It was conditional on her continuing to do well in her GCSE studies (the timing for the course was really bad, that was one of the major considerations as to whether we would support it or not!) and she's enrolled at college to do 4 A levels next year, it's not a career choice in itself, there are no promotion prospects LOL, but she should be able to pick up work with it when she goes to uni or travels abroad. And hopefully it is something that will be a useful adjunct if she pursues training in other aspects. It's been 9 long days, plus evenings and we've been impressed that she stuck it - which also added to the disbelief over the apparently casual manner in which she was prepared to let it go to waste. As I said, we have hope!

Can I just point out that I've never said we want her to sue. We don't. We would much prefer that the injury heals quickly and doesn't leave any lasting damage. (And it looks as if that's what's happening, to our great relief.) We had no choice but to claim last time because the car was written off and her injury turned out to be more serious than initially thought - and because it wasn't treated promptly (cos she didn't make a fuss at the hospital and I didn't know about it) required more to put it right. And yes, it was me she rang then as well - "Deee, I don't know what to do about my knees". Go straight back to the hospital, I'll see you there.

pimento

daisiegg wrote: »

I've just read this thread through and can't understand why people are being so negative towards daska. Do none of you have teenage children?

I do.

This sounds like a problem between the OP and her stepdaughter's mother.

cottonhead

I would report it for sure. My car was ht by an elderly man. Fortunately there was nobody in the car but when we approached the man he just calmly walked off like nothing had happended. Turned out he had quite severe dementia and never should have been driving. After it was reported he got his licence taken away and his family learned the true extent of his problem. My car was bashed but the fact that we reported it could well have saved his life and someone elses.
Explain that to your daughter and see what she says then. You cant force her to report it but you could if you know the details.

Peanuckle

pimento wrote: »

I do.

This sounds like a problem between the OP and her stepdaughter's mother.

I must have been reading a different thread then since the stepdaughter lives with her grandmother and her mother isn't in the picture at all ?

andygb

Is this thread for real?

Who would not report an accident like this if it really happened?

Heamol

Just a quick comment- whether you contact the police or not, if there really is a granny who backed into her without knowing she was there, someone really needs to talk to the granny.

In our home town this past month, an elderly man (in his 90s) driving in a busy area came off the road and ploughed straight into a lady and her daughter who were walking on the pavement. The lady was trapped under the car and died before she could be airlifted to hospital. Maybe if someone had had a quiet word with the driver some time ago, he would have given up driving. Maybe someone didn't speak to him about his driving because they didn't want to cause offense.

If the granny story is true, a quiet word in her ear now could save a life (or lives) before it happens again.