DSD hit by a car!

purple.sarah

daska wrote: »

Oh for pity's sake, I'M NOT BRINGING IT UP!!!!!!!!!!! apart from when her dad and granny raised it yesterday afternnon the only people I've spoken with it about are you lot and a friend who rang this morning - 48 hours after the event.

We're not angry at her for being injured LOL (unless it does turn out she was playing chicken), she's had cuddles and sympathy and been let off helping with dinner etc. We've run around making sure everything she needs sorted out is sorted.

But she was lazy, selfish and self-centred before she got hit by the car. She "can't be @rsed" (a phrase she learned at her mother's knee) to do anything very much. Subbing the training was a big risk and we were all averse to agreeing to it, it was a family decision, but it was something she'd been wanting to do for years and she promised faithfully and we decided that it would be a good thing to trust her etc... And then suddenly there was this job she'd been mithering us about doing for several years but not been old enough, she's just finished the training and all of a sudden she doesn't care?! We all felt let down, it was granny who forked out for it but we all took the decision.

Am I unique in being able to dissociate my feelings for her and my feelings about her being injured from the feelings surrounding the nature of the accident or indeed from the potential implications? To me these are all separate things. I don't love her any less because she's making what I believe is the wrong decision, I can understand her reasons. I haven't even criticised her for that decision, or criticised her to anyone who knows her, just pointed out that there are implications beyond how many bruises she has such as treatment, job prospects and public safety.

If I'd come on here and written "My poor ickle DSD who is so fabulous and the most beautiful girl in the world and really clever is never going to be perfect again boo hoo please cry with me" would that make me a better parent? Because I can't see how raving about how beautiful, clever or good with people or languages she is is at all relevant to her getting hit by a car. In fact it seems bizarre to me that people should think that I hate her based on my venting about a single incident. I also can't see how denying that her reaction is selfish would improve me as a parent - unless it's now a requirement of all good parents to be blind to their child's faults?

And, of course, one of the reasons I raised it on here was because I didn't want to vent at family and friends and make the situation worse!

I dunno, maybe I am unique, maybe it's just more evidence that I'm not neurotypical LOL

You made this post saying your step daughter was hit by a car and might be physically unable to do the job she was training for. Now you're bringing up all this back story about her personality and saying "she's just finished the training and all of a sudden she doesn't care?!" Which is it? She was hit by a car and can't do the job or she's decided she doesn't want to? The title and focus of your post was "DSD hit by a car!" so people are understandably going to be concerned about her health and wondering why you seem so angry at her.

purple.sarah

Peanuckle wrote: »

I must have been reading a different thread then since the stepdaughter lives with her grandmother and her mother isn't in the picture at all ?

The OP was complaining about the mother's influence on step daughter:
"She "can't be @rsed" (a phrase she learned at her mother's knee)"

Gavin83

daska wrote: »

I'm not ignoring the question, I'm deliberately not answering it, it isn't actually relevant and it's a detail too far.

How is it not relevant? You've said she may have potentially not been able to do the job because of her injury and she should consider legal action because of this, I'm curious as to why.

It is naturally your decision to not supply this information and I won't push it any further but don't suggest it isn't relevant.

I'm glad to hear she is recovering, hopefully she'll be totally back to normal shortly.