Who Gets The Ring?

birduk

Well I have been in the position of having two engagement rings to give back (frightened of commitment- me?)

The first one he never asked for back- he didn't want it back when I offered it. So I kept it for a long time, I have only recently sold it (more than 10 years on), as I realised there is no point keeping it.

The second one, I kept in the box next to my bed and he took it when he collected all his stuff. First of all I though I was going mad- but then realised what had happened. It was very expensive (£1.5k+) and he didn't have a lot of money, so honestly I think it only fair that he take it back and get what he can for it.

At the end of the day you will realise that this is just a ring- why would you want to keep it? You loved each other enough to have your son and he needs to be the most important thing at the moment. If it stops an argument then I would give it back.

You need to ask yourself what is so important about keeping the ring? It sounds like it is more about him selling it for some festival that it is about the symbolism? You aren't together anymore so you have no right to say how he spends his money (as long as he provides for the son you have together).

Good luck with the break though- I know you have some tough times ahead, but you will be fine.

miss_hh

When my ex and I broke up, I kept the ring on the condition that it goes to our daughters on their 18th birthdays. I asked for a new engagement ring for each birth. 3 x births equals 3 rings. They were quite expensive rings and my daughters look forward to when they own 'their' ring. Currently they just sit in my jewelry box.

Maybe that is an option for your son? He could give it to his future wife?

Mara69

Sollie wrote: »

Please stick to the current topic, thank you.

Bickering over a (not very expensive) ring is tacky in the extreme. You are making yourself look petty and grasping. Give the bloody thing back and make sure you have a solid agreement for maintenance.

jellyhead

I've got 2 engagement rings that each cost roughly £150 (15 and 20 years ago). I recently asked how much I'd get for them, and it was £12.50 each! Not really worth selling, because the rings themselves are so pretty with lovely coloured stones. I've let my 15 year old son give them to his girlfriend (her mum's face when they pretended they'd got engaged on April 1st was worth more than £12.50!!)

I think that if I'd been asked to give them back after a split though I'd have given them back, because I didn't pay for them and they cost a lot more than would have been spent on an ordinary birthday gift.

LisaW123

Sollie wrote: »

My partner and I recently separated and now we are locked in a battle about who gets the engagement ring.

We decided to call it a day after months of constant arguing and no longer being able to trust one another. We both agreed that we were doing the right thing by separating but he's now changed his tune and is now blaming me for the whole relationship breakdown. He says he wants the ring back so that he can get the money to help provide for our 2 year old son but i know fine well i will not see a single penny of that money and he will spend it all at the festival that he is going to.

Can anyone help please tell me who would rightfully get this ring? Iv read bits and pieces online about lawyers opinions (i know that if i don't give him this ring back he will seek advice from his lawyer) but nothing really makes sense! Any help at all would be greatly received!

Your'e well shot of him. I assume he bought it for you as a gift, and now he wants it back? Cheap, very cheap.

Tiddlywinks

Sollie wrote: »

After doing a bit more reading up i found this piece of legislation 'Law Reform (Miscellaneous Provisions) Act 1970' which states that: (2) The gift of an engagement ring shall be presumed to be an absolute gift; this presumption may be rebutted by proving that the ring was given on the condition, express or implied, that it should be returned if the marriage did not take place for any reason. (i cant post the link on account of being a new user!)

I just want to know who it rightfully belongs to. I really like the idea of putting the money into our sons child trust fund. I think if anything he should benefit from the money. Although it wasn't that expensive.

Do you think Citizens Advice would be my best bet? I dont want to drag this out any longer than i have to.

Citizens' Advice - for gawd sake get a grip...

You are arguing with your ex about a ring that you admit is not expensive - why? Do you really need to screw the relationship up any more than it is already? Do you really need to add to the bitterness?

You share a son and the arguing can't be helping your joint arrangements for his care. Start looking at the bigger picture, take the high ground and return the ring.

Sagz_2

Who paid for the ring?

If it was a joint purchase then sell it and split the money.
If he paid for it give it back.
If you paid for it sell it.

Don't mourn it's loss, rejoice you are shot of the penny-pinching git

singlemum81

I have recently split with my ex and he told me to sell both the rings he bought for me, I have however kept them and will give them to our daughter when she is older.

When my mum and dad split up she kept her engagement ring and for years I have been telling her to sell it so she can have a holiday on it, she always refused. 2 weeks ago she sold the ring and gave me the money to help me buy my ex out of the house so that me and my children have a stable home!!

londonsurrey

miss_hh wrote: »

When my ex and I broke up, I kept the ring on the condition that it goes to our daughters on their 18th birthdays. I asked for a new engagement ring for each birth. 3 x births equals 3 rings. They were quite expensive rings and my daughters look forward to when they own 'their' ring. Currently they just sit in my jewelry box.

Maybe that is an option for your son? He could give it to his future wife?

It's a lovely idea, and a lovely thought filled present to give to each daughter on a significant birthday.

The only thing that seems strange is to call each and every one of them engagement rings.

Sally_A

Been married 22 years, never had an engagement ring, funds were better used towards the home, and baby. Wedding band cost approx £27 if I recall from H Samuels, I've not worn it for the past 15 years, as when soap gets stuck behind it makes my skin go itchy.

Get a grip...it's a faceless token of love that has not lasted...cherish your child, this is the most precious thing you can have from this relationship, and that goes to both of you!.

(Saying that, if I was Liz Taylor, I may have swapped £500k stone for a cheap Cubic Zirconia before chucking it back at Richard Burton ).