Who Gets The Ring?

Sollie

Thank you all for your comments!

After doing a bit more reading up i found this piece of legislation 'Law Reform (Miscellaneous Provisions) Act 1970' which states that: (2) The gift of an engagement ring shall be presumed to be an absolute gift; this presumption may be rebutted by proving that the ring was given on the condition, express or implied, that it should be returned if the marriage did not take place for any reason. (i cant post the link on account of being a new user!)

I just want to know who it rightfully belongs to. I really like the idea of putting the money into our sons child trust fund. I think if anything he should benefit from the money. Although it wasn't that expensive.

Do you think Citizens Advice would be my best bet? I dont want to drag this out any longer than i have to.

Mojisola

Sollie wrote: »

Thank you all for your comments!

After doing a bit more reading up i found this piece of legislation 'Law Reform (Miscellaneous Provisions) Act 1970' which states that: (2) The gift of an engagement ring shall be presumed to be an absolute gift; this presumption may be rebutted by proving that the ring was given on the condition, express or implied, that it should be returned if the marriage did not take place for any reason. (i cant post the link on account of being a new user!)

I just want to know who it rightfully belongs to. I really like the idea of putting the money into our sons child trust fund. I think if anything he should benefit from the money. Although it wasn't that expensive.

Do you think Citizens Advice would be my best bet? I dont want to drag this out any longer than i have to.

I wouldn't bother the CA. The law is on your side. Morally, it's down to you what happens to the ring. He could get a solicitor to write a letter but he'll be wasting his money if he does.

Emmzi

If you are arguing over this now I don't rate your chances of working together to get your son to 18 and independence.

What feels morally, not legally, right?

carebear13

reading that - it sounds as if it is yours to keep, unless it was a case of it being an heirloom, in which case it would not be yours to keep.was it a very expensive ring? tbh it all seems like a massive fuss, not sure why you would want to involve the cab(they prob have enough clients to deal with at the moment). if you dont want to drag it out then give the ring back.

with regards to your son- does he have full time care? if not then why would you need to give him the money just for him to give it you back anyway~??

londonsurrey

I like Sollie's idea of putting towards a fund that benefits the child.

It is in keeping with the spirit of "contract" under which the ring was given. The planned marriage may not have materialised, but something more binding did materialise, i.e. the child. The child is very much representative of the contract of the shared future that the ring signified.

sulkisu

Sollie wrote: »

Although it wasn't that expensive.

Do you think Citizens Advice would be my best bet? I dont want to drag this out any longer than i have to.

If you don't want to drag it out, then just give it back.

Yes, it was a gift, and by law you are entitled to keep it but lets be honest, you don't need the ring, you don't need the money (otherwise you would have sold it already/not bought it in the first place). It sounds like you are both determined to dig your heels in on a point of principle over something that really doesn't matter. Surely with a relationship ending and small child to consider, you both have more important things to worry about.

I would just return it and move on.

Sollie

Emmzi wrote: »

If you are arguing over this now I don't rate your chances of working together to get your son to 18 and independence.

The fact that my ex and I arguing over a ring has nothing to do with my ability to raise my son. Nor does your comment help in anyway to the matter at hand. Please stick to the current topic, thank you.

Emmzi

I think it is relevant. If you sweat the small petty stuff - which this is - then every single decision will be tough.

Often the ring is used as some kind of weapon or symbol when it's just a ring worth a few quid second hand. Not worth the fight.

FBaby

The same thought than what Emmzi wrote came to my mind immediately. If you are already arguing other this, what is it going to be like when it comes to all the issues you will need to work together until your child is an adult... an engagement ring is trully unsignificant, unless it cost him 1000s or is family heirloom. It has nothing to do with the ability of each of you to raise your child but with the ability to rise above petty arguments for the benefit of your child. It is totally relevant to the topic.

Legally, you might be entitled to it, but morally, if you're the one who wants out, just give it back to him. I offered mine back to my ex, he calmly told me to keep it. I don't think it was worth more than a couple of £100. I kept it as something for my children when they are older, knowing that at least their parents loved each other enough at one stage to want to be engaged forever, even if it didn't work out.

FBaby

Emmzi wrote: »

I think it is relevant. If you sweat the small petty stuff - which this is - then every single decision will be tough.

Often the ring is used as some kind of weapon or symbol when it's just a ring worth a few quid second hand. Not worth the fight.

I think we're on the same wavelength