Living for the Present...after all who doesn't love a gift!

debtfreewannabe321

happy_but_skint wrote: »

After reading your diary we are now shopping in Aldi and topping up in tesco or asda, so far i'm impressed.

How is Duke, I'm trying to convince DH that we should get another dog a smaller one this time. We did have a cocker spaniel but we had to rehome her when DD2 was born as she was very protective of her (not in a nasty way) and being so bouncy and fast I was worried she would hurt someone, she was lovely and we all really miss her.

Enjoy the sun x

Ah i'm glad i inspired you to swap shops i'm extremely impressed with aldi's fruit & veg now. A few years back when i tried it it was awful, literally going off in the shop! But now i think it's quality is as good as any SM. And the raspberries are yummy this week i currently have a handful thrown in my pear cider :rotfl: that's 2/5 fruit portions for the day??? (pear & raspberries )

Well today i've been busy, have walked dog, printed off new tenancy agreements after one did a flit :mad:, post office run to post it. Breakfast morning with girls, got weighed and still 7lb off , hoovered whole house, mopped, tidied, cleaned, cleaned all downstairs windows in and out. Moved trampoline from one side of the lawn to the other and moved all garden furniture about a bit (just wasn't working as it was and asked DH a zillion times only to be told that he is too BUSY pfffft, he doesn't know the meaning of that word!)

He's home tomorrow for a day and called up earlier sounding full of cold. great. all we need! I think he was putting it on a bit though i could just tell! Sympathy vote wasn't in though

Need some NSD's soon to make up for big spends on food. Although my cupboards are brimming with food so hopefully we should be able to stick to budget this month :cool:

I started cleaning ds1 room, but as i was moving a pillow a flecking great big ruddy spider ran out. and by big. i mean. B I G I screamed the house down, as you do in such an emergency and ran out crying :rotfl: dd said to ds2 (they were in the bath, oh don't worry it's just mummy scared of a spider!) Boy was she right !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

debtfreewannabe321

Well good morning.

Bit of a down post today really. DH made it home yesterday, has been out of sorts with me for weeks now, and today we've had a discussion at the kitchen table (no arguments, 4 letter words, throwing pans & suchlike) and we are splitting up. Even though this has been on-going for a while I feel like i've been punched in the stomach and feel so gutted

I need to contact the army welfare to see what happens next re:army quarters, me moving (i'm broke!) and also finances etc and I guess I need to move. DH has promised to carry on paying all the debt including mine and also pay me a small amount of maintenance.

I feel gutted because I still love him. I'm also 33, frumpy & starting to wrinkle, i have 3 kids and no money. Noone else would want me, esp if my own husband didn't want me. I also have a dog to feed as well as 3 kids now. Oh god what a miserable post. I thought i would feel relieved, but I don't? It's been coming for years so why don't i feel happy, relieved or any other emotion that vaguely resembles that. Right i'm gonna go now as i will just blubber on, and also i'm not sure if i even belong here anymore either.......

slm6002

Sending over hugs right now. I am so sorry to hear that you are going different ways but having been following you for a while it has been on the cards. At least you were able to discuss it in a calm way, which makes me see that it must be the right decission. If you were shouting and screaming at each other you may have said it in anger and not really ment it. You have soe lovely kids together and you will still love him, but you have both realised that you cant live together anymore. Saying that however it makes it no easier for you.

Please stay with us and let us help you figure out what to do next if we can - you have a lot of friends on here that i am sure will be here to help with advice and hugs and just listening when needed.

Once you have spoken to the army people check out what type of benefits you are entitled to because as a single parent i think you may get a little more - maybe entitled to council house?

Anyway we are here when you need us x

stripes

Big hugs xxx

HOHOHOoffwegoKaren41

Aww chick xx that is so sad and take some timeout from everything and everyone you need too, even tho its been at the back of your mind it always hits you like a brick when it actually happens, cry scream but don't look at the negatives your 33 which is more than young enough to begin a new life, you have 3 fab kids who adore you and a dog that will love you no matter whats happening in life, your eldest will support you whilst home, and you've been the backbone of the family being an army wife so even tho you feel life is falling apart now it wont, just remember how and who runs the home and school runs budgets etc,

When the sadness subsides you will find someone when your ready but till then you will have a ball lovely lady, take care and take time we are all thinking of you, as are your real friends n family x choc n wine are a defo too.

Rainbow_Bridge

Hugs from me too xxx

Give yourself lots of time to grieve and find ways to get all that pain and hurt out of your system.

I am sure you have done absolutely everything to make the marriage work, so please show yourself loads of compassion. It takes two, highly committed people for a relationship to stand a chance, not just one. Love him enough to let him go, you deserve better!!!

Don't cut off any support system, you obviously have loads of pals on this diary, who care, so keep posting xxxx.

fantastiyk

Sending you hugs.

I know you have been mentioning it on here so you kinda knew it was coming but that doesn't make it any easier.

Take good care of you now, better than any best friend would.

xoxo

please-let-me-be-lucky

Aw Hun I'm sorry to hear your news. Big hugs from me too.I know you must feel devastated and you should take all the time you need to feel hurt and sad etc, it's only natural. However, please stick around, where else do you have access to friends 24 hours per day?? I guarantee it is a clash of personalities or sense of direction etc and not down to the way you look. Lets face it, if it WAS just looks, you don't need anyone that shallow anyway! Time isn't kind to anyone! When the time comes you will meet someone else, but in the meantime you can concentrate on yourself and making any changes you want FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR OWN CONFIDENCE not for anybody else. For the moment though, I think wine and chocolate is the way to go!Personally, I don't think 33 is old at all (although I would say that as I'm the same age as you!!). My 55 yr old Mum has been with her boyfriend a year or so, so there's hope for us all yet!I hope it all goes ok with the army welfare Xx

grannyx2

Oh honey, sending you some big big Granny hugs. I'm so sorry that it has come to this and so wish there was something I could do or say to take the pain away. You are clearly going to be upset, whether or not you could see it coming, as a big part of your life has come to an end. 33 is not old and once you have got yourself sorted out emotionally, I'm sure you will find someone who will see what a lovely lady you are. Remember that we are all here to help in any way that we can.

Lots and lots of Granny love and hugs

x

Eager_Elephant

(((DFW321)))

I am so sorry to hear that you and DH will be splitting up.

I know you have had some trying times recently.

Single parents can claim Income Support - £71, Child Tax Credit - £55-£60 per week per child plus of course the Child Benefit.

I know you own a house in Wales but is there any equity? If there is equity then you might not get Income Support or it might be reduced. They can either treat you as having an asset or can treat the rent (after bills etc paid) as income.

If you have no equity or the rent does not cover much more than the mortgage then you will be able to apply for Housing Benefit (called Local Housing Allowance) if you are private renting. Check out your council website for the rates payable as they differ all over the country.

Also if you are hoping to stay in Essex then if your local council is Colchester then you can regsiter at gatewaytohomechoice.org.uk for council/housing association houses.

I assume the army will allow you to stay in their accomodation for a while until you can sort yourself out.

If you want more help I am happy to help either on board or off board.

EE