Homelessness at 34 weeks pregnant?

justjohn

Sometimes as a parent you have to make your children pay for there mistakes and stand on there own 2 feet.

Life is one big learning curve and most of us make mistakes. And i am sure most will agree thats what makes us the people we are today. Not learning from your mistake is what destroys you.

And last thing. At 18 there are not many relationships/marriages that last.

Good luck too the OP, There are many ways this can go and the OP has many choices to make.

Dunroamin

RiaPenido wrote: »

Okay I didn't know I was going to be crucified for asking for help. Thanks people that had some sympathy for my situation and actually wanted to help.

1. He only found work 2 months ago. His 'decent wage' covers his travel, food for both of us, baby things and just about leaves me with enough money to get to my college course. We've saved up the best we could (£300 pounds in savings currently). .

Is this the reason that you're being thrown out, because you haven't been paying his parents for your keep? Would you be able to stay if you started paying your own way?

MummyOfTwo

as has been said, contact shelter. they are best people to help you.

Penny-Pincher!!

OP. I haven't read all the thread but get the gist that you're being told you're too young to have a baby, you should have done this or that....blah blah blah! Anyway, I think in your situation I wouldn't like to be so far away from the hospital or in a B&B, but if thats all on offer, then you must take it and make the best of your situation until more suitable is sorted for you all.

Its commendable that your young partner is working and that you're obviously do the best you can for the baby and your circumstances.

It may be worth contacting social services and explaining the details of your situation and they could probably help you in some way, even telling you where you could go to get a hot meal, meet others in the same situation or do some courses to teach basic cooking and life skills? They will not take your baby away as someone above stupidly stated!

I was 19 when I had my DD (Im 37 now) and although we weren't as destitute as you, we had other problems and had no support from anyone else. We managed and it did take a while to sort stuff, but all I can say now is that my DD at nearly 18 is a level headed, well adjusted, hard working, intelligent girl.

Life isn't meant to be easy and this is just a blip. Keep thinking positively and set small goals which are easy to achieve. Hope it all works out well for you all.

PP
xx

jellyhead

justjohn wrote: »

Sometimes as a parent you have to make your children pay for there mistakes and stand on there own 2 feet.

Well, if this were my child in a couple of years time I like to think that I'd look at the big picture.

I'd like to see him carry on with his job, and her carry on with college. So many teenage parents just go onto benefits and stay there.

In theory the B&B doesn't have to mean the end of all that but things would be easier for them if they could just stay where they are.

How is the bf's mother managing to keep a house that has a spare double room anyway? I am guessing that she is sitting in a large council house, yet refusing to allow some of that house to be used to support her own son and grandchild.

jellyhead

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Eh, yes it is when they have no means to support themselves and 'society' has to step in.



Actually, what's wrong with wagging fingers at people that make irresponsible life choices that impact on others? Why is that so funny?

When did it become OK to please yourself and expect everyone else to step in and help?

We need less acceptance sometimes and more moral outrage and then maybe we'd start to get people to think more about the consequences of their actions.

So everyone in this thread waited until they had savings and a mortgage before they gave birth? Presumably you are all too wealthy to claim tax credits? I bet some of you don't earn enough to be self sufficient without handouts from the welfare estate, yet you went ahead and had children anyway.

raven83

FBaby wrote: »

What I find so sad its that 2 18 years old could find themselves homeless because their parents want nothing to do with them. Ok they might have been acting a bit spoiled and yes they chose to get pregnant as in they would have known how to prevent it but they are not bad kids and are trying to do what is right he is working she's at college they are trying to save money. What they need more than anything else is guidance and their parents should be the ones providing it. It is one thing to tell them they can't stay in the house it's another to leave them on their own to get on with it. No matter how annoyed and disappointed I was with my daughter how much I would want her to learn about the reality of life I could never abandon her and let her stay in a grotty b&b miles away in her state.

Spot on, that's exactly what i think.

raven83

There is sooooooo much finger wagging and people who have never made a mistake contributing to this thread, wow wish i could be as perfect as them...

Now probably this is quite controversal but i will say it......

So say if they were to make it illegal for every under 18 to have a baby, and that anyone under 18 had to have an abortion or give the baby up when it was born for adoption, there would be an out cry of people saying how that would infinge human rights etc etc, and i bet most of the people that would be saying that would be the finger pointers in this thread!

Alot of people don't wait for the perfect time to have a baby, and i bet you that some of the people in this thread where conceived as an accident when maybe it wasn't the right time for the parents to have had them, but still did! Just remeber that by keep saying how you should not have a baby unless you can afford it and blah blah blah that maybe you was once the baby in this type of equation!!!!!!

Tiddlywinks

Penny-Pincher!! wrote: »

Its commendable that your young partner is working and that you're obviously do the best you can for the baby and your circumstances.

It's not 'commendable' that he has a job - it is a fact of life.

jellyhead wrote: »

How is the bf's mother managing to keep a house that has a spare double room anyway? I am guessing that she is sitting in a large council house, yet refusing to allow some of that house to be used to support her own son and grandchild.

Why does someone with a spare bedroom have anything to explain? Not everyone with a spare bedroom lives in a council house you know.

jellyhead wrote: »

So everyone in this thread waited until they had savings and a mortgage before they gave birth?

What is wrong with suggesting that someone has a stable enough life to provide for a baby?

No, I'm not suggesing you need to have a mortgage and savings before giving birth BUT I am suggesting that you should be able to provide adequate shelter and a means to provide a healthy environment for a child BEFORE you decide to procreate.

Why is that suggestion so radical? When did it become so acceptable to just get pregnant and then say "oh gosh, can someone step in because I don't seem to have anywhere to live or any money to pay for the baby"?

jellyhead wrote: »

Presumably you are all too wealthy to claim tax credits? I bet some of you don't earn enough to be self sufficient without handouts from the welfare estate, yet you went ahead and had children anyway.

Your post sums up why the welfare state is in such a shocking state. Let's just allow anyone to do anything they want to, no need to plan, no need to provide for yourself, the state will pick up the bill.

I absolutely believe that the state should be there to provide for those that can't (through no fault of their own) take care of themselves in cases such as illness, unemployment, family breakdown or old age. However, the reckless and those with an 'entitlement' attitude should not be indulged as they really are bleeding the system dry.

peachyprice

jellyhead wrote: »

How is the bf's mother managing to keep a house that has a spare double room anyway? I am guessing that she is sitting in a large council house, yet refusing to allow some of that house to be used to support her own son and grandchild.

What a bizzare assumption!

jellyhead wrote: »

So everyone in this thread waited until they had savings and a mortgage before they gave birth? Presumably you are all too wealthy to claim tax credits? I bet some of you don't earn enough to be self sufficient without handouts from the welfare estate, yet you went ahead and had children anyway.

Erm, yes, that's exactly what we did. I don't know where you come from or what circles you move in, but that's the way it normally happens. Teenage pregnancies, depending on benefits and council housing are not the norm.