Homelessness at 34 weeks pregnant?

the_cat

Whilst I have every sympathy with you on the PGP, basing your set of 'demands' on the suitability of accomodation which you deem acceptable on a condition which is likely to only last a few weeks at most makes you come across as demanding, unrealistic and spoilt.

How exactly do you think someone who lives in an upstairs flat copes if they break their leg?

ETA I agree with the others. Time for you to stop complaining and expecting others to sort your mess out. You are about to become a mother. The responsibilities of adulthood start now

ikkle87

I've read through and just thought I would point out a few things.

Due to low income and your age you should be entitled to healthy start vouchers. £3.10 a week before the birth then £6.20 a week after for fruit, vegetables and milk. If you shop wisely then you could buy a few baking potatoes, salad etc and create some healthy meals. Look at the old style board for idea's on how to eat cheaply. You could even get a cheap slow cooker for £10 and make casserole's or stews or cook a joint of meat in it which would do a meal and sandwiches.

Look on freegle/freecycle and facebook groups for any baby items or household items you may need. If you get a council place do you expect them to fully furnish it for you as well? Like a previous poster I lived in a squat when I was younger and we had a mattress on the floor, no carpets and a bed sheet pinned against the window instead of curtains. Even if you do get a place you still have a lot of hard work ahead of you. At least a B&B will provide you with a bed, warmth, roof over your head and washing/toilet facilities.

Have you looked at a Sure Start Maternity grant? You should qualify for one and that is £500 tax free money. That could be used for a bond on somewhere else. Can your partners parents not act as a guarantor for you?

daska

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

I really don't believe that the vast majority of parents would actually forcefully evict their children if the local authorities weren't there to clear up the mess.

My mum evicted us when I was 39 weeks pregnant with DS2 and disabled - despite my dad saying he believed we ought to stay for a few months. She knew if we had to rely on the council it would mean moving 30 miles away, changing the older children's schools etc. so she knew we would be forced to take unsuitable accommodation in order to prevent that happening. It does happen that parents are genuinely cruel and it is tough to deal with.

TheConways

OP, do you have family you can stay with? You talk about your BF's parents, but not about yours?

I think it's sad you are being made homeless so late in your oregnancy, but think about how you can turn this around. Picture yourself and your family in five years time in your own, non-council accommodation. What do you need to do to get there? How can you turn things around with your boyfriend together?

Also - hasyour boyfriend spoken to his parents about the position they are putting you in? Or perhaps have you outstayed your welcome for a long time now, and his parents are worried they will spend the next five years with a young family in the house? Perhaps if you were clear about a move-out plan in a months time, they would give you a few extra weeks to get sorted.

Good luck - but realise you're adult enough to create a life, so you and your boyfriend have to act like adults now you have a small baby.

Taadaa

I do think some of the comments have been a wee bit harsh. She asked for assistance, not your personal opinion on her predicament. Yes, she is responsible for it, however perhaps she didn't realise that she could not stay with the parents indefinitely. This must regardless be a very worrying time for her, and effectively saying 'thats norhing, l only had a pot to !!!! in and no front door' isn't particularly helpful. I can see that you think she should gain perspective as it can always be worse, but it isn't exactly constructive.

Swans1912

Taadaa wrote: »

I do think some of the comments have been a wee bit harsh. She asked for assistance, not your personal opinion on her predicament. Yes, she is responsible for it, however perhaps she didn't realise that she could not stay with the parents indefinitely. This must regardless be a very worrying time for her, and effectively saying 'thats norhing, l only had a pot to !!!! in and no front door' isn't particularly helpful. I can see that you think she should gain perspective as it can always be worse, but it isn't exactly constructive.

Sorry, but even if she could, why is it acceptable to bum off the parents for somewhere to stay? Should have thought about this before having a baby. If you can't afford it and don't have a plan to be able to provide for a baby you've really got no business having one!!

robpw2

im sorry tadaa no sugar coating , this young lady and her fellow have taken on a masssive responsibility and they need to be told , it may sound harsh but she is 34 weeks pregnant and clearly her parents have not given her sufficient information or support in how things are going to be and she needs to get moving in less then 2 weeks they will not only have all these problems to deal with they will have a screaming hungry baby , her partner will be working every hour god sends in order to provide the basics and she will be feeling very stressed out and extremley tired so if people are harsh to her know then perhaps she will realise that she has a lot of growing up to do in a very very short time

jellyhead

iKennett wrote: »

Sorry, but even if she could, why is it acceptable to bum off the parents for somewhere to stay? Should have thought about this before having a baby. If you can't afford it and don't have a plan to be able to provide for a baby you've really got no business having one!!

Because they were 17 and that's what parents are for!!

I am assuming that the baby was unplanned, which can happen to anyone. It happened to me when I was 24 despite using contraception.

All of you being harsh to her, what do you think she should have done, had an abortion? That's why we have a welfare state here, so that people in these circumstances are able to keep their baby rather than having no option but adoption or termination.

I can't imagine not supporting my child if there was an unplanned pregnancy. The reason these kids are hoping for council accommodation is because their parents have failed them! Her partner's parents have a double room empty!!

puddy

but at 17, she was being housed by her partner's parents by the sound of it, they didnt fail her (not that they have any obligation to her at all), in any way

now she is 18, i presume the partner is too, so its time for them to find their own way

i find this insistence to treat adults as children very strange, its no wonder adults into their 20s have little concept of responsbility and life skills

Tiddlywinks

Taadaa wrote: »

I do think some of the comments have been a wee bit harsh. She asked for assistance, not your personal opinion on her predicament. Yes, she is responsible for it, however perhaps she didn't realise that she could not stay with the parents indefinitely. This must regardless be a very worrying time for her, and effectively saying 'thats norhing, l only had a pot to !!!! in and no front door' isn't particularly helpful. I can see that you think she should gain perspective as it can always be worse, but it isn't exactly constructive.

Harsh? She asked for advice months ago and doesn't seem to have taken it on board. She has openly said 'I don't know how to facilitate getting a place and as it is a lot of effort I've decided to just wait around for the council to help us'. Yet she's managed to make an effort to research her rights when she said 'From my research I've gathered that it is actually illegal for them to put us in the B and B for more than 6 weeks'.

This seems a typical case of knows her 'rights' but not her responsibilities.