Homelessness at 34 weeks pregnant?

bigmomma051204

Oh and this statement really sums up why this country is facing such problems with the benefits system.....


"I don't know how to facilitate getting a place and as it is a lot of effort I've decided to just wait around for the council to help us."

Amazing that you can put the effort into posting on here, researching what the council "has" to do for you BUT you can't make the effort to sort your own mess out!

I may have extended more sympathy if you hadn't uttered that sentence! :mad:

pulliptears

Shall I tell you my story?

I left home at 18 because I was a cow of a teenager, spoilt only child and my parents, in my perception were horrible people to me (the benefits of age and wisdom...). My then BF told me he had a house, which he did. He neglected to tell me it was a squat. By this point I was in too deep and wanted to save face so I stayed. Months on I fell pregnant. (the stupidity of youth knows no bounds).

By 8 months I was living in a squat, sleeping on a mattress with no running water and no electricity. The house was accessed via a small window at the back which involved climbing on a dustbin to reach. As you can imagine at 8 months gone this had its drawbacks.

I'd been hassled by the midwife for a home visit so in desperation I gave her the squat address. Her face was priceless actually.

2 days later I was in a single room with a Z bed, there was a chest of drawers and access to a kitchen and bathroom and you know what it was palatial in comparison to what I'd come from. I stayed there until a couple of weeks before the birth waiting for a flat, however, at some point I did have a lightbulb moment and realised that I was a million times better walking away from the looser of a BF and going back home to my parents who welcomed me with open arms. BF has never been seen since and my son is now 19.

I guess what I'm trying to say is you haven't got it half as bad as you currently think you have. You have the offer of a warm comfortable room with access to kitchen and bathroom facilities. Be very grateful for that and sit it out until they can find you somewhere permanent. No, it's not ideal and you will have to make sacrifices, but in comparison with an old mattress on the floor of a dingy, condemned for demolition house believe me you have it good.

bluebird

sounds to me someone wants to jump the housing queue by moaning and being pregnant,all's i see are excuses,no sympathy here,being pregnant doesnt make you disabled ,work hard, save harder and dreams can come true.

gingin_2

I remember your previous thread and am a little surprised to see you here asking the same question 14 weeks along the line. Did you get any temporary work, have you saved any of BF's wages? Why are you here 14 weeks along, shortly before baby's birth asking the same question again?

I am not normally a pushy breastfeeding advocate but in your case it would be insane not to do so if you are worried about money and sterilising bottles in a B and B. Just go for it!

I had some sympathy for you 1st time round but you have had 14 weeks to get organised, at least financially, you are 18 now, you have a partner with a good income, you are in a very fortunate position compared to most. Go knocking on as many doors as you can until you get help or baby drops!

jellyhead

I don't know about the hospital situation, if there's one that's closer but depending on the reasons why you are being kicked out perhaps your bf's parents (who are the baby's grandparents after all) might let you sleep there temporarily when you think the baby is close to arriving, so you'd be closer to the hospital.

You may be able to breastfeed but if not a steam steriliser can be plugged in in your room, it just needs water.

It's a shame that the B+B is so far from bf's work though - hopefully you can get some advice from Shelter.

Also, put bf's wages into the calculator at http://www.turn2us.org.uk/benefits_search.aspx and find out how much housing benefit you could get (he might get tax credit too, and council tax benefit) and see if it would be possible to sort out a private rental for yourselves. Try putting in different amounts for rent and council tax and see what it tells you at the end for the amount of help you'd get.

Good luck, it's scary being pregnant and not sure where you'll live but it will be ok. Babies don't need much

tea_lover

RiaPenido wrote: »

I don't know how to facilitate getting a place and as it is a lot of effort I've decided to just wait around for the council to help us.

Seriously? You post that and then expect help?

It is hard work getting a place, and paying for it. That's what millions of us manage to do though.

bigmomma051204

RiaPenido wrote: »

Ive not contacted shelter yet, but I will thanks.

And the b and b we have been assigned to is over an hour and a half away from boyfriend's work and the hospital. The room is also on the top floor and I have trouble with stairs. The lack of kitchen and private bathroom worries me as I'm unsure how I will a) afford to feed boyfriend and I on takeaways and b) sterilise his bottles etc?

Only certain b&b's will accept people referred to them by councils so that may be why it is so far away. Have you even enquired as to whether there is an alternative b&b closer to his work? Pretty sure they would rather he was working than not bothering.......
With regards to the hospital issue.. why is it an issue at all?? Do you think that all the other people who live where the b&b is situated don't have babies or need hospital care....how do they manage then???!! :cool:

If you have trouble with stairs due to a medical reason, then again, inform your housing officer as they may be able to look at an alternative.
Re the food issue, why in Gods name will u feed yourselves on take-aways? You can get a microwave for the cost of one take-away these days! Then a whole range of diet will open up to you... soups, microwave meals, salads, jacket potatoes etc etc.

And as others have said, breastfeeding instead of buying milk and sterilising etc??? Just an idea....... unless there is a health related reason not to do so, then surely it is the perfect way to feed baby.... it is FREE for a start. (and as someone else said, i am NOT one of the breastfeeding brigade - FAR from it!!)

RiaPenido

Okay I didn't know I was going to be crucified for asking for help. Thanks people that had some sympathy for my situation and actually wanted to help.

1. He only found work 2 months ago. His 'decent wage' covers his travel, food for both of us, baby things and just about leaves me with enough money to get to my college course. We've saved up the best we could (£300 pounds in savings currently).

2. It's not that I'm unhappy about getting a bed and breakfast. I know I should be grateful for getting something and honestly I am but the council haven't considered my current needs. I am unable to go up and down stairs due to a condition called PGP. I can barely walk by myself so being left in the top room of a bed and breakfast all day without being able to go anywhere, far away from any type of support, unable to go out by myself to buy food in my opinion is ridiculous.

3. I have considered breastfeeding, only my mum had problems with it and had to stop after a week or two. I'm only planning for things that may happen.

4. I am not expecting to be 'handed' a house. That was my last option. I tried every possible avenue before going to the council to ask for help. We tried to find somewhere ANYWHERE to privately rent. I couldn't care less if it was a room in a shared house, heck I'd LOVE a room in a shared house but the problem is there is no landlord who will take in 2 teenagers with a baby when there are 'more suitable' tenants out there.

My boyfriend pays his taxes, I've paid taxes surely our 'welfare state' is there for people like us who are merely going through a hard time. I'm not expecting help forever, I just need help getting started.

bigmomma051204

RiaPenido wrote: »

Okay I didn't know I was going to be crucified for asking for help. Thanks people that had some sympathy for my situation and actually wanted to help. I dont think people are crucifying you ... its just that you need to accept that your situation is of you & your boyfs making alone and your first post sounded very greedy and grabbing lol! Also, that one sentence that a couple of us quoted REALLY didnt help your cause!!!! There is nothing stopping you keeping on looking for private rents etc......

1. He only found work 2 months ago. His 'decent wage' covers his travel, food for both of us, baby things and just about leaves me with enough money to get to my college course. We've saved up the best we could (£300 pounds in savings currently). Well done for saving something Keep going!

2. It's not that I'm unhappy about getting a bed and breakfast. I know I should be grateful for getting something and honestly I am but the council haven't considered my current needs. I am unable to go up and down stairs due to a condition called PGP. I can barely walk by myself so being left in the top room of a bed and breakfast all day without being able to go anywhere, far away from any type of support, unable to go out by myself to buy food in my opinion is ridiculous. Okay, so you need to make your housing officer aware of these issues if you havent already - also, get a supporting letter stating these issues and facts from your midwife, GP and consultant if you have one. The more letters the better.

3. I have considered breastfeeding, only my mum had problems with it and had to stop after a week or two. I'm only planning for things that may happen. Dont assume that because your mum had issues, that you will. No reason to think that. Even mums who struggle with a previous baby, often are able to do it fine the next time! Dont buy bottles or any feeding equipment before you try - it will only take 10mins for ur boyf to pop out and buy them if you cant... but if you CAN, what a waste of money!

4. I am not expecting to be 'handed' a house. Good - cos the likelihood of that happening quickly is quite slim! That was my last option. I tried every possible avenue before going to the council to ask for help. We tried to find somewhere ANYWHERE to privately rent. I couldn't care less if it was a room in a shared house, heck I'd LOVE a room in a shared house but the problem is there is no landlord who will take in 2 teenagers with a baby when there are 'more suitable' tenants out there.

My boyfriend pays his taxes, I've paid taxes surely our 'welfare state' is there for people like us who are merely going through a hard time. I'm not expecting help forever, I just need help getting started.

See my replies to each bit lol

Amanda65

I was one of the posters on your thread 14 weeks ago and am pleased to hear that your OH has managed to secure a job. Did you explore the possibility of temp work as I (and many others) advised? You said in your original thread that you had saved up 50% of the wages your OH earnt when he was working at M&S - is this part of your £300 savings?

RiaPenido wrote: »

2. It's not that I'm unhappy about getting a bed and breakfast. I know I should be grateful for getting something and honestly I am but the council haven't considered my current needs. I am unable to go up and down stairs due to a condition called PGP. I can barely walk by myself so being left in the top room of a bed and breakfast all day without being able to go anywhere, far away from any type of support, unable to go out by myself to buy food in my opinion is ridiculous.

Speak to the housing officer then about your condition and give them a letter from your doctor / midwife confiming it. As for the food, surely OH could bring in supplies for the following day so you don't have to go shopping?

RiaPenido wrote: »

3. I have considered breastfeeding, only my mum had problems with it and had to stop after a week or two. I'm only planning for things that may happen.

My Mum couldn't breastfeed and I managed to successfully feed all three of mine for 4 months each - try not to worry about problems that may not exist!

RiaPenido wrote: »

My boyfriend pays his taxes, I've paid taxes surely our 'welfare state' is there for people like us who are merely going through a hard time. I'm not expecting help forever, I just need help getting started.

At 17/18 and a student you shouldn't have paid taxes - if you have contact the Inland Revenue as you may be due a rebate.


Also, without wanting to appear too nosey (and feel free not to answer) you do not mention your parents other than the reference to your Mum and breastfeeding. Is there no possibility of staying with them, even if only temporarily while you save some more. Or equally could your OH's parents 'convert' a dining room into a temporary room for a few weeks (realise this may not be possible as I have no idea of the size / payout of their house).