Homelessness at 34 weeks pregnant?

daska

I remember your last thread and IIRC at that point you had made an effort to save up but your BF had been made redundant (?) and was looking for work? Congratulations on him finding a job.

PGP = pelvic girdle pain = what some of the older ones amongst us would have known as SPD? If so it could resolve when the baby drops into position (that was my first present from DS1, he dropped into position on Xmas day) and if not it'll quite probably settle down quickly after the birth. It's not generally considered a disability so you may find that it makes little difference to your housing situation.

You're worrying. But it's normal for first time parents to worry. And some of the things you're worrying about are what the more experienced parents here are giving good advice on.

You really only need a sling, moses basket or similar, mattress and linen, blankets, nappies and some babygrows. A car seat possibly, but you might be able to borrow one. That's it. And you'll find it all on freecycle/freegle if you ask. You don't need a pram until bubs is big enough that you can't carry them in a sling. Most mothers can breast feed and again, you'll find the stuff on freecycle/freegle but buying a steriliser and a couple of bottles is a matter of a quick shopping trip if they're needed. A cheap single ring hob with a fryingpan, saucepan and kettle will allow you to make a variety of hot food and drinks without resorting to takeaways or ready meals. And it'll be summer soon so that won't be such an issue.

Best of luck, you'll be fine, even if you do have to manage the stairs.

VfM4meplse

RiaPenido wrote: »

I'm 18 years old and 34 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend works full time and brings home a decent wage. We live at his parents house in outer west London but we are getting kicked out in about a week.

Seems a bit harsh, no scope for negotiation?

Amanda65 wrote: »

Has your OH spoken to his parents about the spare room, even if only using it for a while? Surely they wouldn't want to see their son and grandchild homeless for the sake of a few more weeks? Sometimes you need to swallow your pride and admit that the situation is far from ideal but you are trying to make the best of the situation.

I agree with this.

All those parents who believe in treating their children like adults and think it is responsible to allow their teenage children to have sex under their roof need to take part of the responsibility if the inevitable happens.

OP, I realise you feel helpless atm but you do have your b/f, which is much better than being on your own.

Swans1912

Lancslass1982 wrote: »

I have nothing constructive to add to this thread, but occasionally I read threads on this forum that cause my blood to boil slightly and this is one of them!

Bit late now, but how did you envision providing housing for yourselves and the baby before you got pregnant? Yes, yes, accidents happen. Strange though that people manage to use contraception correctly and responsibly and have sex for years and years and not get pregnant, until they are in a stable position where they can provide for said baby.

I don't think, OP, that you are exactly in a position to be picky and should be extremely grateful for any help that is given.

This!!! Thank god someone said it :T

pulliptears

Can I just add, the position I was in was entirely of my own making. At 18 I knew it all. Babies were easy, I'd found myself pregnant through my own fault but everyone else would deal with it not me.

The reality, although I wouldn't change a thing, was that I was ridiculously stupid. Rather than go back and admit my mistakes I carried on blindly down the same road. It took until 9 months gone before I realised that I was going to be responsible for the life inside me, not my BF, not the Council, ME. That was the point I made the changes for the better and moved on.

In my case I met my husband when my boy was 8 months old. He adopted him, we married and had another child. We worked hard and 19 years down the line we have a nice home, a small mortgage, a car each, holidays and a reasonable disposable income.

I dread to think what would have happened had I not had my lightbulb moment that day.

OP, I'm not for one moment likening you to me, but one day you will look back and realise that you need to make the best of a given situation. What seems dire now can be turned around with a bit of a push from you, whether that push be living in a B&B for a few weeks or being extra nice to the inlaws. The decisions you make and the choices you make now are not for you, they are for the child you are about to bring into this world and I promise that you wont stop fighting for that child, even when they are bigger than you are

puddy

most rental rooms in shared houses dont ask for references or large deposits or months of rent in advance so with your 300 quid savings you can rent a room, check out spareroom.com and search for your area. it might limit you having a baby and wanting a double room for a couple but it is possible. then the rent will be affordable and you might be entitled to hb depending on what your boyfriend earns

you may have to sell some of the baby stuff or take it back to the shop, its more important at the moment that you secure housing and cooking facilities before cute babygrows etc

C_Mababejive

Is the " being chucked out by parents" by mutual arrangement in order to facilitate your homeless application?

ilikewatch

I know it won't be any immediate help, but considering that from the sound of it you don't have much of a local local support network, and your only reason to stay in your current locality is because of your partners job, have you thought about moving away from London to somewhere where housing is more plentiful and living costs are lower?
I live in the East Midlands, and it took me almost a year to find anyone prepared to rent my 2 bedroom house for £350 a month - even though I don't require a deposit!

lizzywig

Re the PGP what sort of care are you having for this? I had it from 16 weeks pregnant and it didn't go away until I gave birth. I had physiotherapy and was on crutches and towards the end I couldn't even get off the sofa and DH practically had to carry me up the stairs, it got even worse when I was two weeks overdue. One day in fact I had to wee in a cup because I couldn't get off the sofa - too much info perhaps!! If I was in your position it simply would not have been possible to climb those stairs. I understand that some women also do not get over PGP when they give birth and need physio afterwards too. So if it doesn't go away then carrying a newborn baby up various flights of stairs will be near on impossible. This all depends on the gravity of your case, some people have it worse than others I understand.

If you are not recieving care you need to get your GP to request that your local hospital arrange it for you, phsyio should follow which will help to strengthen your pelvis and might help. You may however also need a support which straps round your tummy.

You definitely need to get your midwife to talk to the housing people, does she know about any of this? If not then make an appointment with her to discuss, even if you are not due an appointment.

Tiddlywinks

RiaPenido wrote: »

Okay I didn't know I was going to be crucified for asking for help.
......

My boyfriend pays his taxes, I've paid taxes surely our 'welfare state' is there for people like us who are merely going through a hard time. I'm not expecting help forever, I just need help getting started.

Sorry, but did you think everyone would congratulate you for bringing a child into a world where its parents can't provide for its basic needs? You need to stop feeling that the world owes you a living and start seeing it from another perspective.

As to your BF paying his taxes - oh come on, how many nights in a B&B will his contributions to date have paid for do you think?

C_Mababejive wrote: »

Is the " being chucked out by parents" by mutual arrangement in order to facilitate your homeless application?

I really don't believe that the vast majority of parents would actually forcefully evict their children if the local authorities weren't there to clear up the mess.

DaisyFlower

I doubt your combined taxes at 18 will even cover your B&B for two weeks.

You were adult enough to get pregnant so now need to be adult enough to gain employment and find a home you can afford with your child.

Stop expecting life to be handed to you on a plate. If a B&B is all they are offering then you have little choice and can hardly moan. You have had weeks to ensure you have everything you need to bring a child into the world - most important a home for the baby.