Mothers day and wivies

Mrs_Optimist

Wife 1 is the still the mother of his firstborn and so he absolutely should buy a card and pressy for her from his firstborn. Wife no 2 has jealousy issues which she needs to deal with - the first wife is not just going to disappear so she has to get used to that.

littlejaffa

like you i have freinds where he has a child by his 1st wife, and a new baby with his 2nd.

the 2nd wife is my freind, she is completly supportive of anything he does for his 1st wife, right down to putting up shelves and buying birthday cards.
It's lead over the years to a very strong relationship between everyone, the eldest child is happy and secure, as are all the adults.

some examples, inviting 1st wife to the wedding & subsequent christening of the new baby, 1st wife offering to loan a v expensive outfit to 2nd wife for a funeral...it's by far the grown up way to do it.

unless someone in the equation is a nutcase or has insecurity issues, it shouldn't be any other way when children are involved.

Up_To_Scratch

Rachie_B wrote:

why not suggest they MAKE a card & even a little gift for the little ones mum ?! home made from your child is always so much more appreciated than an overpriced card !

then the husband wont have to "buy " anything

That's EXACTLY what I was going to say. I cannot believe that such an issue could be made of a card - it is the child's sentiments, not the father's. Honest to God, don't some people think EVERYTHING is about them?! Why get so precious about a child wanting to say thank you to their mummy?

At the end of the day, the only reason the father is getting involved with the card purchase/making is because the child is too young to organise it themselves & surely that's all part of being a loving and responsible parent?!

Giles_81

why doesn't the husband and 3 year old make a card for wife 1, then wife 2 can't say anyting as he has not BOUGHT wife 1 a card.
Although the time spent may make her more angry!! diddums hes done what he was told! hehehehe.

Giles_81

Up_To_Scratch wrote:

That's EXACTLY what I was going to say. I cannot believe that such an issue could be made of a card - it is the child's sentiments, not the father's.

Sorry guys. Seems i was a bit 'late news' wasn't i????
just thought the idea was good and steam rolled right in there without checking posts before!
Apologies.

TokochickUK

Its about the child at the end of the day, ask step mum to help toddler make his mummy a card and then maybe she will also feel involved a bit more, two kids with crayons and paper is fun lol and maybe make a cake? then she would have been involved every step of the way. I dont know that all nurserys will make something for mothering sunday.. there was that thing in paper a few months back about children not being allowed to do anything for fathers day due to some not having fathers.

I have a step mum and have always brought her a card and small gift, I wouldnt necessarily make it a STEP mum card, but maybe a you are LIKE a mother to me. then it doesnt draw up such a huge divide in her already seeming struggling mind. but maybe if she goes with toddler to chose a card and daddy takes baby to chose a card...

I hope everybody can be pleased x