Mothers day and wivies

ailuro2

This is a money saving board, so pretty obvious to go with the made at home with Dad cards- one for his step-mum too if it helps keep the peace!

fwiw, I wouldn't blame wife no.1 for not giving wife2 the time of day!! If the first kid is only three and the second is one, wife2 must have got in there pretty quick when the first one was very young! No time for people like that, we women all know the first year after a baby can be very tough on a relationship!

evilwitch

My ex doesn't ever buy anything for me from our son. Since we've been apart there's been no birthday, Xmas, mothers day cards at all. Thankfully my new partner has stepped in and buys stuff from him to give to me.

The first mothers day we were together, he wasn't sure what to do but when it became aparant that no card was forthcoming he went over the rip off 24hr shop to get a card which he took son aside to write to pass onto me.
and my son was a bit upset when he saw the card on the shelf from my and OH baby daughter. He asked where his card for mummy was. Thankfully OH had thought of it and already got the card.


Like many others have said its not about the adults its about the child. The parents may have split up but the relationship between mother and child or indeed father and child shouldn't and its only a card but it can mean the world to littlies.

I'd go with making cards at home thing then all that needs to be written inside is 'to Mummy Happy mothers day love from XX' and the same substitiuting the mummy for whatever wife 2 gets called. No overly 'special' words that can cause upset and child is happy as he gets to make a mess!

studentphil

ailuro2 wrote:

This is a money saving board, so pretty obvious to go with the made at home with Dad cards- one for his step-mum too if it helps keep the peace!

fwiw, I wouldn't blame wife no.1 for not giving wife2 the time of day!! If the first kid is only three and the second is one, wife2 must have got in there pretty quick when the first one was very young! No time for people like that, we women all know the first year after a baby can be very tough on a relationship!

Wife 2 knew her husband from when he was married to wife 1. They were friends when he was married to wife 1. So if anything he was unhappy with wife 1 and wife 2 gave him friendship through that unhappy time.

studentphil

ailuro2 wrote:

This is a money saving board, so pretty obvious to go with the made at home with Dad cards- one for his step-mum too if it helps keep the peace!

fwiw, I wouldn't blame wife no.1 for not giving wife2 the time of day!! If the first kid is only three and the second is one, wife2 must have got in there pretty quick when the first one was very young! No time for people like that, we women all know the first year after a baby can be very tough on a relationship!

Wife 2 knew her husband from when he was married to wife 1. They were friends when he was married to wife 1. So if anything he was unhappy with wife 1 and wife 2 gave him friendship through that unhappy time.

liney

Or his 'friend' could have supported him through the difficult time instead of getting 'friendly' /roll eyes.

Eitherway, of course wife one should be given a card. Homemade or not. He has this for the next few years so he must set precidence (sp?) now.

crutches

this can be a touchy subject .even when in the midst of court battles we have encouraged our cildren to buy/MAKE their mum/stepmum a card.
It is MOTHERING SUNDAY not MOTHERS DAY.
ANYONE WHO "MOTHERS" YOU DESERVES A CARD AND A REST.
after10 yrs of BITTER fighting my children gave DH's exwife a birthday card this year.she is their sister's mum,why not celebrate your extended family.

hardpressed

Let him take both children to choose a card each for their mums, the little one could be offered a choice of two, the three year old can pick his own, then let him buy a bunch of daffs, it doesn't have to be anything expensive, the fact that he choosen a card and flowers for his mum himself we make him happy and that's what it's all about. The dad can then get something a bit more expensive for wife no 2, she obviously needs to feel she is more important.

findingmyownway

My OH has kids and an ex-wife. Obvisouly the kids want to buy their parents things for bday/xmas/mothers/fathers day and it would be appalling for any adult to spoil this for them!! In the beginning, both parents bought things for the kids to give. These days, i buy OH's presents and cards and the kids wrap and write them while at our house. Ex-wife's mum does the same at her house. Just makes life easier - i know what he wants better than she does!

I am also honoured to say that a few years ago, the girls said to their Dad that they wanted to buy me a 'mothers' day card too - and since then i have also received a "we love you" card and a bunch of flowers/box of chocs. I would never expect this or take it for granted - but i can see that the kids want to do it and it makes us all happy!

Becles

Does anyone feel obliged to buy for the ex-partners new family?

My ex started seeing a women and her teenage son last year. Christmas gone he took the boys to open the gifts at her house, and I felt obliged not only to buy a gift for my ex from the boys, but also to buy for her and the teenage son as ex said the boys gifts were from all of them.

I didn't spend a lot - just got her a fancy bubble bath and body lotion set, and a Lynx set for the teenage boy, which were on BOGOF in Tesco. It's not the money that I'm bothered about, it's just the principle of buying for people who I don't even know, yet hubby and me never even got a Christmas card or a thank you from them.

Dumbledore55

Becles wrote:

Does anyone feel obliged to buy for the ex-partners new family?

My ex started seeing a women and her teenage son last year. Christmas gone he took the boys to open the gifts at her house, and I felt obliged not only to buy a gift for my ex from the boys, but also to buy for her and the teenage son as ex said the boys gifts were from all of them.

I didn't spend a lot - just got her a fancy bubble bath and body lotion set, and a Lynx set for the teenage boy, which were on BOGOF in Tesco. It's not the money that I'm bothered about, it's just the principle of buying for people who I don't even know, yet hubby and me never even got a Christmas card or a thank you from them.

I don't feel obliged - but I do it because they are all part of my son's extended family. I also do the BOGOF thing but its the thought that counts. We've even got to the point of all spending Christmas Day together. Its the children that should be put first.

Its obviously different for me because I do know them.