Mothers day and wivies

studentphil

I am sure this problem is not a unique one faced by many Fathers and 2nd wivies all over the place as well as my friend.

He is now married to his 2nd wife with who he has a baby about a year old with. He has a first wife too who he has a son about 3 years old with. Clearly a 3 year old can not buy his Mum a card and a present on his own for his Mum on Mothers day. However, his second wife is objecting to her husband buying anything for the first wife on behalf of his son for Mothers day.



However, he thinks it looks really bad and uncaring to his son and to overlook that whlist still his ex-wife she is still mother to his son if he buys nothing for the 1st wife.

Is the 2nd wife right or is she just being mean?

Kimberley

She is being selfish and he should tell her that he intends to buy a card for his sons mum. She has no right to say this and he should stand his ground, his son comes first.

studentphil

It is not so much that the second wife is against his first son in fact she treats him like he was her own. It is more the "other woman" and why should her husband be buying her anything.

studentphil

sherbetpops wrote:

Nobody said she was against him, but someone who behaves like she is is hardly acting like a grown up and certainly not acting like someone who has the childs interest at heart, just her own, dont you think

I suppose you are right.

She is thinking about Dad and 1st wife being too friendly and where that leaves her rather than has 1st son got a loving and happy relationship with his Dad and real Mum.

Bossyboots

I think she is being selfish. If she cares anything for the three year old she should not be objecting to this. Perhaps she could buy the card and present herself on behalf of the little boy.

astonsmummy

She's being childish imo, its only a blooming card!
What is wrong with people, my ex's ex was like that, wouldnt let him have any photos out of my son because 'she couldnt handle it' (she told me that herself after they split up) even though she knew i was pregnant when they got together, while he was still with me! - weirdos!

lewt

you aint been putting it about have you phil?

studentphil

My best guess why people act like this is that they see exs and other families as a threat to their relationship now.

studentphil

lewt wrote:

you aint been putting it about have you phil?

:rotfl: No !

inkie

I think that this is one of the considerations for not having relationships and children so quickly after the closure of a previous relationship. That aside, why does she even need to know - why can't he just do what he needs to do, and it would never come to her atention. Not the best situation, but if she is going to get the face on over the whole thing then this may be the best way forward. Second and subsequent wives need to accept the status quo in regard to children from their partners previous relationships, as they will always have a connection with their parent.

studentphil

sherbetpops wrote:

Yes, hardly the behaviour of a grown adult though (or is it - looking after ones own) and then to say they treat them like their own

I agree. It is very complex when you have lots of exs and kids. Who knows how guys on their 4th wife get on.