leaving children for 6 months

Lifeforms

I think the question should be asked to your kids, and the Father. After all, forget the rest of the world, they're the ones that will have to deal with your absence for that time.

For all you know, it might go ahead, and with in a few weeks you're heading to get back because you miss it all.

But just as we don't really have a vote in it, neither does anyone else. It's 6 months of your life, affecting you, the Father, and your combined kids. you all need to decide.

Nowadays unless you're all in the sticks then it wont be like you're not going to see them for 6 months, there's things like Skype, email, telephone calls, texts etc, so that can be easily written into a plan of keeping contact if you go.

I'd always advocate doing what you believe in, and if it's a dream job that you've always coveted, it's a good chance to try it out.

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but having kids should not stop the parents also doing what they want too. Kids are not a ball and chain, and 6 months in the whole 18 years of childhood is a small period.

Of course they will miss you, but at that age you can "bargain" with them to find out what is acceptable. For example you skype them before they go to bed, or you send a "special postcard" weekly.
You can always set up things before you go too. Like little lunch notes saying "Mummy misses you, and loves you and hopes you have a good day" Even little love tokens given to them daily, or weekly. A calendar you create, for them alone to count of the days. And frankly the list of that is endless; But firstly the decision should be between you 4 alone.

balletshoes

Kimberley82 wrote: »

I want to take this job so much but I worry I would be looked down on for doing so, yet I also feel if it was my husband doing it no one would bat an eyelid

you're right, if it were your husband no-one would bat an eye, and if you really want to do it and think you can do it, then go for it.

*max*

I guess it depends on a lot of things: how relatively "independent" the kids are (ie: mummy's boys, never been apart...etc), how would they react to your being away, how able and confident would your husband be to look after them on his own for so long...

I think under the right circumstances, it would be just fine, as long as the job is really worth it and would be an opportunity that would benefit the whole family in the long term. Only you can be the judge of all this.

faerie~spangles

Kimberley82 wrote: »

6 month contract on a cruise ship as head stylist,

they would go to the same school, live in the same house etc, but only their dad would be there not both of us

I was going to give you my support 'til I read it was a 6 month contract on a cruise ship as head stylist. It may be a dream job for you but I don't see that it would further your career.

victory

Kimberley82 wrote: »

6 month contract on a cruise ship as head stylist,

they would go to the same school, live in the same house etc, but only their dad would be there not both of us

Have you spoken to the kids about it? 6 months is a long time to kids that age and I agree with all the military/oil rigs etc but that is a career, will 6 months on a cruise ship enhance your career, is it very well paid, is it worth it?

nearlyrich

I had a local boring job till my children were 15/16 ish, then I go one a bit further afield and my dream job with travel came once they were grown up enough to leave on their own overnight. I wouldn't leave little one's for 6 months myself but it's your life not mine...what does your husband think?

whitewing

The default setting is 'no.'

If it were definitely only 6 months and husband was in favour, maybe.

If it were weekdays and come home at weekends (without taking work home), possibly.

Over the millennium period I had to work and was paid very handsomely for doing so but it meant my young son was with my family. I remember thinking at the time that no job was worth that. But I wasn't married then, so it wasn't quite the same.

I think 6 months with an 8/9 year, if I knew for absolute definition I could get back if I needed to one way or another, I would enjoy the job and the opportunity, but probably wouldn't enjoy it wholeheartedly, but years later I would be glad I had done it because with the perspective of distance, I would value the trust it showed in my husband and children, and all the other good aspects.

balletshoes

Kimberley82 wrote: »

Would be a very good thing to have on my cv, I dont feel they children would suffer long term for it, yes they would miss me but they wouldnt be alone

but wouldn't you miss them - a lot?
My DD goes to her gran's for sometimes 2 weeks at a time each school summer holidays, and I rattle around missing her loads every single time. I go to work, I plan to DIY, spring clean etc, just to keep busy so I'm not constantly missing her - it doesn't really work, I still miss her and I couldn't conceive how awful that would feel for a whole 6 months.

But, as I said before, if you can do it, you want to do it, and all of your family are happy with it, then I wouldn't judge you if you went for it.

whitewing

6 months as head stylist on a cruise ship?

As a one-off trip, with husband's agreement and encouragement, then yes. But not 6 months at a time for the next 20 years.

But be prepared for family to think it is a terrible idea. What does your husband really think?

I feel a chick-flick coming on.

cjj_2

I couldnt leave my kids for 6 days let alone 6 months, but I wouldnt look down on anyone else for doing so if it was right for their family x