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Real life MMD: My ex paid for the hol, should I keep the refund?

edited 17 April 2012 at 3:06PM in MoneySaving polls
195 replies 34.5K views


  • Your relative situations should not be used to cloud what is a simple moral judgement.

    He paid for it so he should get the refund. He may have jumped the gun and you may have split up since, but he booked in good faith and deserves to get his money back in good faith. I imagine he has already lost part of it in cancellation fees and it would be wrong to withhold any more of it.
  • vbmvbm Forumite
    116 Posts
    The fact that someone asked this question doesnt surprise me, there are plenty of stupid and dishonest people in the world. Epecially those with a sense of entitlement.

    I am surprised that this was posted as a moral dilema though.

    A more concise question would be, "Should I steal from this guy as he is richer than me ?"
  • Judith_WJudith_W Forumite
    754 Posts
    How about holding onto it in a savings account until he asks for it. At least then you are getting some interest for it and can pay it back if/when he does come calling.
  • relaxtwotribesrelaxtwotribes Forumite
    349 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker
    Nothing new to see here. Move along now.
  • how can you even contemplate keeping the money? it's not a moral issue it's theft. I'm sure you would agree if it were the other way round. the disparity in your incomes and circumstances have nothing to do with him. It does not compare with buying her a piece of jewellery - that's a gift to her personally. He wasn't sending her on this holiday with her friends (might then have been legal, if dubious) it was an experience which he clearly wanted to participate in.
  • What part of THIEF don't you understand?

    It's not and was never YOUR money. Give it back.

    If this is the level of your ethics, no wonder the two of you split up!
  • I would initially say no, but if you ask him nicely - possibly the thought of one final date (assuming the relationship didn't end badly), he might let you keep it. But then it might mess with your benefits so it's down to whether you desperately need the money (and potentially ruin your benefit claim (if your honest to declare it)) or whether you potentially want to feel morally obligated to your ex.
    :T Wins so far 2015: :T
    £15 Beefeater Vouchers
  • HeadAboveWaterHeadAboveWater Forumite
    3.9K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    Nope! No way! It's STEALING! (Even though he sounds like an idiot for trying to flash money to impress a woman!)
    Wealth is what you're left with when all your money runs out
  • NO NO NO. I cannot beleive you would even think of keeping it, it sounds like you are jealous of him. He was daft to go spending money so early in a relationship, but he obviously did it with good intentions, and that he really liked you.

    I do not think you should be nasty to him for that, you obviously had a good time while he was around.

    I also cannot beleive others who are suggesting you should make money on this guy.

    Sounds like he was lucky to get away if you are thinking like this.

    your completely different circumstances has nothing to do with it. It should be about being kind to people.
  • No, you mustn't keep the money. Your ex will know that a refund is due and that it has probably been sent to you and at some point he will ask for it back. At the very least sit on it for a good while (preferably earning interest in an ISA!) before you do anything with it.
    The fact that you are even asking this question means you know that it would be wrong to keep the money. If you keep it and spend it and then he asks for it back how will you repay him? Very embarrassing and very wrong.
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