Real life MMD: My ex paid for the hol, should I keep the refund?

edited 17 April 2012 at 3:06PM in Money Saving Polls
195 replies 34.5K views


  • ready123ready123 Forumite
    77 Posts

    Well... let's first of all clear up this fact... if he has a £60k a year job, he isn't going to miss £600. However, that doesn't mean you can keep it.

    He obviously has a brain somewhere in his pompous head so by putting you as lead passenger, he must have realised that this may happen if you broke up.

    Has he done it knowing you would get the money and is kindly meaning to help out?

    I would contact him and tell him... he may say: Oh just keep it.

    Re bold - I hate these kind of presumptions. :mad: He earns £60k, he's not a multimillionaire. Why presume that he wouldn't miss it? A £60k salary is lot to some people, but it's not THAT much - particularly if you live somewhere like London, and we know nothing of any financial commitments he may have. It's certainly not a "fact" that "he isn't going to miss" the money.

    I don't earn £60k btw, but if I scale my income and the amount down pro rata, I'd certainly miss it! And not sure where you get £600 from - thought the dilemma is about £1700?
  • If you are an out and out thief - sure take the money. If you do and he is unable to prosecute criminally I'm sure he would have a good civil case. The fact that he 'earns £60,000' may enable him to write the money off easily enough - after all if it only cost him 8 weeks and £1700 to escape your immoral clutches.
  • If you cash the cheque it is theft, just as if you entered his house and took the money. Oh, and it is on paper, so you can't argue with the Fraud Squad that it was just a mistake.
    Not only a criminal action, but a very stupid criminal action.
    If this is the example you set for your children I am sorry for them. I can understand why your husband left.
  • Bev-83Bev-83 Forumite
    5 Posts
    Of course you can't keep it - IT'S NOT YOURS! Perhaps he did jump the gun a bit but that's not really the point here. Also, the fact you have two young children and are unemployed is irrelevant - it isn't his fault, why should he lose out??!!
  • NO!!!

    That would be completely out of order.
  • You do actually realise this is a real scenario with a real person behind it who will actually be reading this thread? I doubt many of you would say to the OP's face that they thought the man had a lucky escape, that the OP is a poor excuse for a human being or (as one poster actually said) call them a 'thieving !!!!!' so why say it behind a computer screen? Yes, the OP should return the money, I agree with you all there, but would it have killed you to be polite when you said that?
    PS Yes, I acknowledge that some of you just said that they should return the money without resorting to personal abuse and well done to you but you seem to be in the minority in this thread.
  • NDP_2NDP_2 Forumite
    2 Posts
    Disagree with most people on here.

    By putting you as lead passenger he has gifted the holiday to you. That is why the travel agent has sent the money to you because they in their minds it is yours.

    If it was addressed to him it would be theft. The travel agent would not sent it to you if in their eyes you were not entitled to it. It is a mistake by him in not putting himself as lead passenger.

    Morally, a different question, I would bank it and see if he asks for it. If he wants the money back - give it (so don't spend it!!!). if he doesn't ask don't offer it. If he misses the money enough he will go looking for it and he will be informed by the travel agent that it was sent to you.

    There is no crime - the people who are saying you are committing theft are fools.
  • No way should you keep it.
    My first reason is that it would be theft, which you know is wrong.

    My second reason is....

    If he's insecure enough to do such a stupid thing, he's very likely to be a control freak type of person who would only use this as a perfect excuse to harrass you for months to come.

    (if you really dont like him now & want revenge that much, you could send it to him with a letter stating that you never want any contact with him again. That way the company keep his money & youre not a theif).

    However, if you do that, you need to be prepared to feel very bad eventually.
  • bess1234 wrote: »
    I haven't a problem with the poster- if you are asking whether you should steal, you need to go and have a really good think about who you want to be, and your answer will come.

    I have a problem with this being a money saving issue! I didnt realise you had stealing as a money saving option.OOOh that gives me ideas ...

    Can I be next weeks dilemma- my elderly neighbours have really nice stuff, and no dependants so its a bit wasted on them really so can I wait till they are asleep and break in? Please, I want nice things too.

    Totally agree with you Bess. I am disgusted that the MSE team that put the weekly email together even consider that this issue is a Moral Dilemma. Is is theft, pure and simple. I don't give a stuff whether this person is real/made up, unemployed, has two heads and comes from Mars, etc....surely the issue we should all be enraged about is the moral fibre of the person who wrote this week's email as they are almost encouraging thieving scumbag types to believe this is acceptable behaviour. MSE is about being careful with money not becoming a criminal to "save money".

    I haven't been this angry in years, must go and have a sit down lol.
  • Voyager2002Voyager2002 Forumite
    14.5K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Not a dilemma: the money is his.

    In many ways it would be nice if he were to tell the OP to keep it as a kind of farewell gift, but that is a choice for him to make. And that kind of generosity is more appropriate in a continuing relationship than after a break-up.
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