Real life MMD: My ex paid for the hol, should I keep the refund?

edited 17 April 2012 at 3:06PM in Money Saving Polls
195 replies 34.5K views


  • How would you feel if he hadn't cancelled and left you as lead passenger to pay the balance??
    Give the money back it was a kind gesture that he was willing to pay in the first place.
  • Anther blood sucking mother ,when will you lot take responsibility for yourselves ,why should he support you and your sporn he has had a lucky escape from you lot .

    It would be theft and you would find yourself in a small claims court .
  • tenuissenttenuissent Forumite
    336 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker Car Insurance Carver!
    Just ask him what he wants you to do - maybe by email so that you don't have to talk to him if you don't want to. He might say you can keep it - he might say to send him the cheque. It's definitely his decision about what to do with the money, so simply give him the chance.
  • Don't know if anyone's raised this point but here goes:
    Bank the cheque IMMEDIATELY - the holiday company may go bust and then there may then be no refund if the holiday wasn't bought on a credit card / visa debit or if the company wasn't ABTA/ATOL bonded.

    Then tell the ex and ask how he would like the money transferring as it is his and only a quirk in the booking system has ended up with you getting the refund. What happens then is his choice, he may let you keep half of it or even all of it but as others have said that is his decision to make and I struggle to see the dilemma.
  • edited 18 April 2012 at 6:07PM
    Mother1gooseMother1goose Forumite
    1 Post
    edited 18 April 2012 at 6:07PM
    The cheque is in your name so ...................
  • drsquirreldrsquirrel Forumite
    238 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    No! Absolutley not! Thats theft at the end of the day.

    It's potentionally theft, as theft is "with the intent to permanently deprive the other of it".

    So if you cash it, and they don't ask for it - its not theft. The basis of cashing the cheque should be because its in your name, so the intent here isn't to keep it for themselves.

    Then ask the ex- for their account no. etc.
  • FitzmichaelFitzmichael Forumite
    164 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker
    bionda wrote: »
    Of course you must pay the refund back. It seems you were lucky to have this person so generous with his time and his money. Even if you are in a really tight financial position you should contact him which ever way is the best for both of you. Let him know that the refund is coming to you and ask him how you can get the money back to him. You never know he may well say, " you need the money, keep it ". On the other hand if you say nothing and pocket the money, you will ( or should) feel bad. I'm not one for good karma bad karma, but I would say if you sneekingly kept the money you may have to wait a long time to attract something good into your life....and at any time you may get a call from him or someone acting on his behalf to return his money......
    Of course you have to pay him back, but what was so wrong with such a generous person that you broke up after 8 weeks - or was it he who broke off, because he found something wrong about you? Hmmmm?
  • hannerrbabeshannerrbabes Forumite
    169 Posts
    Tenth Anniversary 100 Posts Combo Breaker
    No way, it was never your money, so taking it from him would be stealing.
    Imagine if it was you that had paid for the holiday, the cheque goes to your ex's house and he decides to keep it? You would be so angry and absolutely devastated.
    The fact your unemployed with 2 young children doesn't come into it at all. It was your choice to have children and your choice not to work. If you took the money the police could get involved and that would affect your whole future - and your children's lives!:mad:
  • tallgirldtallgirld Forumite
    484 Posts
    Part of the Furniture
    So you're considering nicking your exes money? I would give him his money back. How much he earns, you being unemployed with children has absolutely nothing to do with it.

    His money. His refund. Simple.
  • edited 18 April 2012 at 6:54PM
    beaniemollybeaniemolly Forumite
    7 Posts
    edited 18 April 2012 at 6:54PM
    Having read the dilema like most people I agree it is theft to keep the money.
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