Real life MMD: My ex paid for the hol, should I keep the refund?

edited 17 April 2012 at 3:06PM in Money Saving Polls
195 replies 34.5K views


  • eloiseheloiseh Forumite
    45 Posts
    Eighth Anniversary 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    With all due respect, your situation is your situation. Your ex boyfriend has no responsibility towards you. It is his money and whilst you may need it more you are not entitled to it.

    It would be morally wrong for you to take it. Is this really an example you would want to set to your children?

    Good luck
  • NO. If you keep it you are committing a crime. Its not yours. Would you want and let him to keep it if you paid. Don't use the I'm a single mum with 2 kids as an excuse. Earn your own money you will feel better for it. Karma !!
  • I had a friend with a attitude like yours and she is no longer my friend because of it. The world doesn't owe you a living because you are unemployed and have two children. I know things can be tough but as other people have said in response to you, teach your kids right from wrong - if you don't we will all have to live with the consequences.
  • Post No 137...are you my ex-mate?
  • MaatMaat Forumite
    471 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker
    Wow, the sheer level of judgment on this thread (all from men) leaves me totally stunned. Although, thankfully not to the extent that I can't put my own view.

    Yes, logically the money is his. On the other hand, he seems to have been taking liberties with the relationship, assuming a closeness that you weren't sure about at the time. Typical controlling qualities, and oh so many men have those. You don't know who you are, guys, but I can give you clues if you're interested.

    The simple solution is to talk to the guy. Be open about what's going on. He already knows your situation, he already knows what you're facing, so tell him what's happened and suggest that you discuss it. In law you're entitled to keep the lot since your name is on it, in the realm of moral decisions you feel bad about that. The temptation is great given your situation, but you don't just wanna walk off with it when you know he has a stake. So see what he has to say about it.

    btw I admire you for even questioning this situation. So many wouldn't. Anyone who attacks you for this should be ignored frankly, I'm sensing 'alimony' bitterness here.

    So long as you're open and honest you have nothing to fear coz even if he demands the lot back you've still acted in accordance with the best motives and the highest principles. Maybe self esteem doesn't sound much right now but, believe me, it's all any of us really have in our lives.
  • bargain_babsbargain_babs Forumite
    2.4K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    No, you must return the money
  • Of course you don't get to keep the money, it does not belong to you. Your free ride ended with your relationship.
  • bogwartbogwart Forumite
    117 Posts
    I do hope you're not bringing up your children with your complete lack of morality. Of course you must give the money to him - it's his, not yours.
  • No you shouldn't keep the cheque. Just because he has a good job doesn't give you the right to take the money. Go and get yourself a job and stop leeching of this man .:mad:
  • Augustus_the_StrongAugustus_the_Strong Forumite
    319 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker
    Obviously you can't just keep the money. The guy sounds a bit rash but he's not stupid. Tell him they've sent you the refund cheque - if he says, "oh, you keep it", then keep it, but otherwise send it on to him. How could you even think of doing anything else?
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