Real life MMD: My ex paid for the hol, should I keep the refund?

Starbird

You really have to ask? I dont care how much money he's got or how little you have if you keep it you are a thief plain & simple it is his money not yours.

mungaman

What a joke!! This is a no-brainer. I don't care what your personal
situation is (or his for that matter). The fact that you're even thinking this is disgusting. Get a life lady!! It's his money, give it back.
Karma will bite you in the a&£!!!!!

mungaman

Well, let's just live in a communist state then dave!!

mungaman

sweetiepiedave wrote: »

What a load of priggish, pious and uncharitable sentiments you've elicited you've received from MSE subscribers. The worse ones are those trying to make you feel bad about yourself or ashamed for having asked what is a perfectly reasonable question and one that in the real world many people suffering dire poverty would ask themselves. And as for those that compare you to a prostitute, well I find them plainly disgusting. So take no notice.

First of all, I don't know (do any of your critics really know?) whether your keeping the money would actually be illegal. He's made you the lead passenger, so who does it actually belong to in law? As for the 'moral' arguments of a lot of them, well how many of them have tried being a single mother with kids and living off benefits? How many of them think they could live off £67.50 a week (Jobseekers' Allowance) plus the other pittance that goes by the name of child allowance? Can they imagine living off that? Obviously not. But they should be able to imagine what a fortune £60,000 per annum sounds in comparison. How 'moral' is it that there should be such enormous discrepancies between what people are forced to live off? And then somehow it becomes immoral if those at the bottom don't gracefully accept what fate has delivered to them.

Having said that, since we don't know what your legal position is, all right, go back to your ex and tell him what's happened. If he's got any decency, he'll tell you to keep the money.

What a joke!! Get off your high horse dave!!
Let's just join a communist state instead!! Sounds like you'd like that!!

sweetiepiedave

Mouse Boy 007,
You say there are a lot of 'we don't knows' here, so we shouldn't assume that the former boy friend isn't going to spend his money nobly or for his rent/mortgage. You're right that there are a lot of 'don't knows', but one thing we do know is that he'd decided to spend the money on a holiday with his then girl friend. So he clearly didn't intend using it for 'rent/mortgage' or 'dialysis machine'. So it isn't, as you suggest, a 'black and white situation' of taking money at someone else's expense.

And as for your suggestion that the lady asking the question is acting like 'the looters in the riots', well such a comparison beggars belief and is just another example of the pretty hysterical abuse that has characterised a lot of the contributions to this discussion.

Another example of this by the way is Mungaman saying that, because I mention discrepancies in wealth, I must want to live in a 'communist state'. What I'd like to know is what 'communist state' has ever existed where there weren't enormous discrepancies in people's wealth?

Mrs_Frontage

Quite frankly I'm more interested in what holiday company did he book with? NO company will refund a deposit or the full amount of a holiday!!! The fact that you have split up and are not going is disinclination to travel which does not entitle anyone to a refund!

If this magical company does exist, - and you do have a refund cheque - I would do the decent thing and prove that not all women are money grabbing nasties and return the money to him. A bit of self respect is worth more than a few hundred quid.

coloquil

simple ask him

BNT

Some of the above serve to highlight the fact that the only relevant facts are that the ex-boyfriend paid the money, but the refund is being sent to the ex-girlfriend. Everything about how long the relationship lasted, who earns what, how many children, as well as all the unknowns and what-ifs, is irrelevant and should not influence one's moral decisions.

tindella

No - it's not your money. Your personal arrangements are of your own making and are of no consequence. He paid - he should get the refund. Can't see why you have a problem at all, really.

sarah_battyll

No, it would be like stealing - your personal situation is nothing to do with whether you are more financially deserving, the money is simply not yours. Sorry but you need to listen to your conscience.