How much child support?

alias*alibi

shegirl wrote: »

Quite the catch

You don't know the situation so where are you qualified to comment on what type of man he is? Not that long ago you were on here pouring your heart out over your ex cheating on you!!! I felt sorry for you then but I've read your threads since and it appears you would go back to your 'catch' of an ex.

People need to stop being so judgemental.

shegirl

alias*alibi wrote: »

You don't know the situation so where are you qualified to comment on what type of man he is? Not that long ago you were on here pouring your heart out over your ex cheating on you!!! I felt sorry for you then but I've read your threads since and it appears you would go back to your 'catch' of an ex.

People need to stop being so judgemental.

What the heck makes you think I'd go back to that?Not a chance in hell:rotfl:

Yes the woman could have kept her knickers on too,but she's the one being moaned about so people will point it out

alias*alibi

shegirl wrote: »

What the heck makes you think I'd go back to that?Not a chance in hell:rotfl:

Yes the woman could have kept her knickers on too,but she's the one being moaned about so people will point it out

Ok whatever you say; it was painfully obvious that you would had taken him back.

Let's get one thing straight. I am a woman but im totally aware that there are a hell of a lot of woman out there playing the game; who are vindictive, money grabbers who would sell their souls if given the chance. Women are JUST AS RESPONSIBLE as men are to ensure UNWANTED pregnancies do not happen.

shegirl

alias*alibi wrote: »

Ok whatever you say; it was painfully obvious that you would had taken him back.

Let's get one thing straight. I am a woman but im totally aware that there are a hell of a lot of woman out there playing the game; who are vindictive, money grabbers who would sell their souls if given the chance. Women are JUST AS RESPONSIBLE as men are to ensure UNWANTED pregnancies do not happen.

Of course they are!! And yes women can be awful.But going back to your wife afterwards doesn't look too good does it?

And trust me,there is no way on earth I'd ever take him back.Why would I go back to a cheating scumbag who chooses to never see his son again?:rotfl: Seriously,you have that completely wrong.I may talk about things on here in the limited way I can due to his bloody girlfriend constantly joining under different names to message me,try and wind me up or make threads about them trying for a baby but that's the only way I can let anything out.There's no way on earth I'd ever take him back,he's stunned me,I'll give you that and it was hard to believe it all,but not a chance I'd even look at him!

kingfisherblue

One thing that I would suggest to the father of the child... when he pays child support, make sure he pays it by standing order, clearly labelled 'Child Support for Child X'. That way, if the CSA do become involved at any point, he will have proof that he has been paying a specific amount on a regular basis for his child.

If the mother refuses to give bank account details in order to get cash, the father should only pass the cash over when the mother signs a receipt to prove that it has been paid.

Obviously the father should keep these records in case the CSA ever become involved. If he has not done either of these so far, he should do it immediately.

Incidentally, I agree with those posters who said that the mother does support her child. It may not be in financial terms from paid employment, but she will support her child in many other ways, not least emotionally. Dad may not like it, but he isn't on hand to comfort his daughter when she falls over or has a nightmare. He doesn't get her to nursery and collect her afterwards. He doesn't tend to her daily needs, take her to the doctor, chat with her over breakfast, read her a story or give her a bedtime cuddle - or at least, he doesn't do these things on a daily basis. Mum does. It is a sad fact of life that children don't always grow up with two parents living together, for whatever reason, but both parents can make their child more emotionally secure by treating each other fairly and with a little respect.

At the end of the day, surely both want what is best for the child?

alias*alibi

My husband came back to me after getting a girl he worked with pregnant; so that looks bad does it? He realised what a great big co.ck up he had made and we reconciled. He pays her CSA but I wont lie, i begrudge her getting it, sure I do. She was married too and they wrecked two marriages to get their rocks off. By law he has to pay CSA but she will not get a penny more out of us; don't care how hard up she may well be. She chose to get pregnant so she can get on with it. Harsh words yes, but she knew my husband was married with a child and didn't care about how I would manage financially but the worm turned and karma kicked in. Bitter; you bet the hell I am.

I understand the frustrations, bitterness and resentment of the OP.

shegirl

alias*alibi wrote: »

My husband came back to me after getting a girl he worked with pregnant; so that looks bad does it? He realised what a great big co.ck up he had made and we reconciled. He pays her CSA but I wont lie, i begrudge her getting it, sure I do. She was married too and they wrecked two marriages to get their rocks off. By law he has to pay CSA but she will not get a penny more out of us; don't care how hard up she may well be. She chose to get pregnant so she can get on with it. Harsh words yes, but she knew my husband was married with a child and didn't care about how I would manage financially but the worm turned and karma kicked in. Bitter; you bet the hell I am.

I understand the frustrations, bitterness and resentment of the OP.

I don't blame you for being bitter,it would be expected tbh! Must've been very hard to deal with and still must be

clearingout

alias*alibi wrote: »

My husband came back to me after getting a girl he worked with pregnant; so that looks bad does it? He realised what a great big co.ck up he had made and we reconciled. He pays her CSA but I wont lie, i begrudge her getting it, sure I do. She was married too and they wrecked two marriages to get their rocks off. By law he has to pay CSA but she will not get a penny more out of us; don't care how hard up she may well be. She chose to get pregnant so she can get on with it. Harsh words yes, but she knew my husband was married with a child and didn't care about how I would manage financially but the worm turned and karma kicked in. Bitter; you bet the hell I am.

I understand the frustrations, bitterness and resentment of the OP.

with all the best will and contraception in the world, pregnancy happens. If your husband was sleeping with a woman without using contraception himself, then I would suggest he chose to get pregnant, regardless of whether or not the woman concerned was/wasn't using contraception. If you don't want a baby to result, you use contraception and you have to accept that even doing that isn't foolproof.

alias*alibi

clearingout wrote: »

with all the best will and contraception in the world, pregnancy happens. If your husband was sleeping with a woman without using contraception himself, then I would suggest he chose to get pregnant, regardless of whether or not the woman concerned was/wasn't using contraception. If you don't want a baby to result, you use contraception and you have to accept that even doing that isn't foolproof.

I'm well aware of that; however it doesn't excuse her from not protecting herself either. She knew EXACTLY what she was doing. I've been back with my husband for 8 months now and still struggling to come to terms with things and really resent paying the CSA to the point where I don't know if my marriage will survive my bitterness to be honest.

Anyway, enough about my situation.

TeamLowe

I don't understand, if the situation is causing so much hate and bitterness and complications etc etc etc then surely the CSA is better?

she gets her money, he knows he's paying what he's legally obliged to and no more and that she can't make any more demands of him.

all the bitterness coming from the 'friend' and the story of how the relationship broke up seems to suggest that the father of the child is really not over the mother. personally i feel very sorry for the wife taking him back when he was still in love with someone else

although i'm sure i'll be told i'm wrong about that but i like having my opinions about internet strangers just like everyone else xx