How much child support?

Googlewhacker

Amara wrote: »

At least she was single, she didn't cheat her spouse.

Both equally as bad as each other...

timberflake

Ok, lets put this to bed once and for all.

My mate and wife seperated and he moved in with me. He met this girl, she got pregnant, but then decided she was moving 200 miles away back to her family against my mates wishes.

He stayed at my place for a further 6 months after which he and his wife reconciled and she was/is fully aware of whats gone on.

So, all the comments about the circumstances can stop as he hasn't cheated etc.

My mate has got the information he was after, many thanks for those that helped. The mother has been told today that technically she's receiving too much and won't be getting a penny more, suffice to say it didn't go down well and she threatened to call the CSA..........my mate offered to dial the number for her.

alias*alibi

timberflake wrote: »

Ok, lets put this to bed once and for all.

My mate and wife seperated and he moved in with me. He met this girl, she got pregnant, but then decided she was moving 200 miles away back to her family against my mates wishes.

He stayed at my place for a further 6 months after which he and his wife reconciled and she was/is fully aware of whats gone on.

So, all the comments about the circumstances can stop as he hasn't cheated etc.

My mate has got the information he was after, many thanks for those that helped. The mother has been told today that technically she's receiving too much and won't be getting a penny more, suffice to say it didn't go down well and she threatened to call the CSA..........my mate offered to dial the number for her.

How does your mates wife cope with this? Just interested as its a very similar situation to mine except my husband did cheat and we had a child.

timberflake

alias*alibi wrote: »

How does your mates wife cope with this? Just interested as its a very similar situation to mine except my husband did cheat and we had a child.

I honestly don't know. She just has to get on with it and accept that every other week he'll be off visiting his child.

POPPYOSCAR

alias*alibi wrote: »

How does your mates wife cope with this? Just interested as its a very similar situation to mine except my husband did cheat and we had a child.

Yes, I was wondering about that.

It must be so hard in these circumstances, not only is the wife suffering emotionally but also financially. It may even make it difficult for them to have their own child because of the financial constraints.

Sorry to hear of the position you are in yourself, I hope you are ok.

Amara

Ok then. We have established as follows:
-he fathered the child
-he wanted to know how much should pay
-pays more then he has to
-child's mother demands more
-but she won't have it
Simple.

euronorris

timberflake wrote: »

My mate has got the information he was after, many thanks for those that helped. The mother has been told today that technically she's receiving too much and won't be getting a penny more, suffice to say it didn't go down well and she threatened to call the CSA..........my mate offered to dial the number for her.

As another poster pointed out, make sure he labels the payments accordingly and keeps a detailed, and accurate record of them. For his wife's sake, it may be worth him setting up a separate account for these payments (if he hasn't already) so that she doesn't have to see 'Child maintenance for Child X' every month (which I imagine would be very upsetting for her).

Is he going to continue the additional payments for nursery? Personally, I do think that nursery is beneficial for his child (and she is the most important factor in this situation), but I don't think full time nursery, 5 X a week is necessary (if that is what is happening. So, depending on the current set up, I would suggest that he offers to continue to pay X amount for nursery, for X days per week, for the benefit of his child.

POPPYOSCAR

timberflake wrote: »

Ok, lets put this to bed once and for all.

My mate and wife seperated and he moved in with me. He met this girl, she got pregnant, but then decided she was moving 200 miles away back to her family against my mates wishes.

He stayed at my place for a further 6 months after which he and his wife reconciled and she was/is fully aware of whats gone on.

So, all the comments about the circumstances can stop as he hasn't cheated etc.

My mate has got the information he was after, many thanks for those that helped. The mother has been told today that technically she's receiving too much and won't be getting a penny more, suffice to say it didn't go down well and she threatened to call the CSA..........my mate offered to dial the number for her.[/QUOTE]


Is he going to continue as things are or is he going to go through the CSA. I would have thought it best to go through them anyway?

FatVonD

alias*alibi wrote: »

My husband came back to me after getting a girl he worked with pregnant; so that looks bad does it? He realised what a great big co.ck up he had made and we reconciled. He pays her CSA but I wont lie, i begrudge her getting it, sure I do. She was married too and they wrecked two marriages to get their rocks off. By law he has to pay CSA but she will not get a penny more out of us; don't care how hard up she may well be. She chose to get pregnant so she can get on with it. Harsh words yes, but she knew my husband was married with a child and didn't care about how I would manage financially but the worm turned and karma kicked in. Bitter; you bet the hell I am.

Wow, you are a stronger woman than I, I don't think that I would be able to do that :eek:

alias*alibi wrote: »

I understand the frustrations, bitterness and resentment of the OP.

I can fully understand the bitterness/resentment of the wife but not the husband. I do agree that there are women around that will deliberately see a man as a sperm donor if it suits them. To be honest, my son is only 14 and I already worry that at some point his life could be ruined by a girl saying she's on the pill when she isn't but ultimately if men aren't prepared to take the risk then they should be using condoms in addition to other forms of birth control (especially when they are also exposing their wife to sexually transmitted diseases!)

POPPYOSCAR

FatVonD wrote: »

Wow, you are a stronger woman than I, I don't think that I would be able to do that :eek:



I can fully understand the bitterness/resentment of the wife but not the husband. I do agree that there are women around that will deliberately see a man as a sperm donor if it suits them. To be honest, my son is only 14 and I already worry that at some point his life could be ruined by a girl saying she's on the pill when she isn't but ultimately if men aren't prepared to take the risk then they should be using condoms in addition to other forms of birth control (especially when they are also exposing their wife to sexually transmitted diseases!)

I have had that conversation with my son many,many times but teenagers always think they are clever, know best and unfortunately do not seem to be able to think much past the very minute they are in!!!!!!!!!

I just live with my fingers crossed all the time:o