Help - I need to tell my husband about my Debt

ScaredandStupid

MrsPennyPot wrote: »

Just wanted to send you some big hugs!

I haven't been in your exact situation but know very well what it is like to wake in the morning with that sick, anxious feeling. Its horrible but hopefully coming clean will help with this a bit.

Already been said but we are here to hold your hand through this.

Mrs PP. x

Thank you so much, I wish I could have someone to hold my hand, or hold the door open while I run!

TheHardWay

I know its been said already, but sort out a plan of action before you speak to him, dont let him feel like your dropping this problem on his toe's.
Even if you dont end up using this plan of action it will show him you are on top of it and ready to get it sorted.

cottonhead

I am in a similar situation. I plan not to tell my husband but to try and sort it out one way or another. The situation is really stressful - like you I hide the post and even umplug the phone and hope its not noticed. I hate lying as I really love my husband and he works so hard to provide for us and I feel I have let everyone down. Thats why I plan to struggle alone and sort out the mess I have got into.
Have a think about how you got in this mess though ? Was it through not having enough money for essential bills or because you treated yourself ? If its bills etc then go through your finances again and make sure your husband provides a fair share so between you all the bills are covered and you both have spending money. Thts fair enough. Never try and hold the burden of shared expenses by yourself. That was part of my probele. Now I have asked husband for more money towards bills it will stop me getting further in debt and the debt I do have will gradually be paid off. I just hope I can pay it all and forget about it.
Sorry I know I didnt really answer your question but wanted you to know you are not alone in this.

ScaredandStupid

cottonhead wrote: »

I am in a similar situation. I plan not to tell my husband but to try and sort it out one way or another. The situation is really stressful - like you I hide the post and even umplug the phone and hope its not noticed. I hate lying as I really love my husband and he works so hard to provide for us and I feel I have let everyone down. Thats why I plan to struggle alone and sort out the mess I have got into.
Have a think about how you got in this mess though ? Was it through not having enough money for essential bills or because you treated yourself ? If its bills etc then go through your finances again and make sure your husband provides a fair share so between you all the bills are covered and you both have spending money. Thts fair enough. Never try and hold the burden of shared expenses by yourself. That was part of my probele. Now I have asked husband for more money towards bills it will stop me getting further in debt and the debt I do have will gradually be paid off. I just hope I can pay it all and forget about it.
Sorry I know I didnt really answer your question but wanted you to know you are not alone in this.

Thanks for your reply, I can't beleive how many people are in my position.
I don't really pay housebills, he pays for everything but at the time the debt started I didn't earn very much at all, and what I did I paid for the shopping, now I am my wages are slightly better I pay for my car, the shopping but there is nothing really left over, and now I have gone down the payday route I have really messed things up as they swallow my whole wage the day it goes in so I can't catch a break. Money is my OH's number one priority and I'm not used to asking for help. I suppose I have nothing to lose by telling him because he is goingto find out sooner or later, either way I would be with or without him.

puregeordie

Sorry to here this but honestly you sound like wor lass as per what your personal situ is, having said that I bet there's many guys out their with wifes in similar positions!!

She's in exactly the same position but I don't know anything about any debt.

Anyhow, maybe just a thought you should show him this thread and it might help, even give him sort of a hint to have a peep!! So its not such a big shocker and all that.

Hope you get things sorted and your numbers come up. Not the best solution but that's what my wife's waiting for!

All the best.:)

shopaholic2

Puregeordie....sorry,dont mean to hijack the thread,but are you saying your oh has hidden debts from you, and you know about them but she thinks you're still in the dark??

Nikkif_2

My mum always taught me to never go to sleep on an argument.

If your confession goes anything like mine, there will be tears and quitepossibly raised voices. When you go to bed, make sure you give your husband agood night kiss and tell him you love him.

If its any help, my boyfriend at the time is now my fianc! and he’s helpedme clear a large chuck of the debt already. He hasn't paid anything off for me,just keeps me on the straight and narrow - with a stern look every now andagain (normally when I pick up jeans!!)

Good Luck - and you've already made a huge step by facing up to your debt :j

puregeordie

shopaholic2 wrote: »

Puregeordie....sorry,dont mean to hijack the thread,but are you saying your oh has hidden debts from you, and you know about them but she thinks you're still in the dark??

No. Just her personal situ minus the debt.

shopaholic2

puregeordie wrote: »

No. Just her personal situ minus the debt.

:think:

Even more confused! But as its none of my business I will leave it!

Op, keep going, I'm holding your (cyber) hand hunny x

Denis_UK

and now I have gone down the payday route I have really messed things up as they swallow my whole wage

I know you are under pressure from your debt.

You are under pressure from concealing it from your husband.

But from your statement above it will only get worse.

Maybe you could get your family you borrowed from and your husband to sit down and discuss the problem.

You need support I sincerely hope you get it.