Im Upset, and I know Im Being Selfish But.....

JennyW_2

donna-j wrote:

I think you are all being really hard on Divadee. My parants live overseas, they've been away for 13 years, and it is very difficult at times. To say 'get a grip, I've lost my parents' is not at all fair, you could say similar things about getting upset about anything in life.

The whole point though is that she still has her parents and 3 years isn't really that long.

I'm glad donna-j that you still have your parents though. I'd rather be saying your reply than mine

morganlefay

Oh dear, and they'll be feeling very torn themselves now, knowing you're so upset (even tho it shows how much you love them). Can you find an older friend/aunt/distant rellie who you can designate as your Mum's stand-in so that you have someone to talk to etc as you have with your Mum ? I had a aunt I got to know really well when she was in her late 70s and I was 40 ish, and I found that she was a really nice person, interesting, kind etc etc and I had never noticed her before. My Mum developed Alzheimers and 'went away' so I was left without her. I think the aunt understood that she was my substitute Mum, and it was such good fortune for me to find her. You will need someone to fill the place temporarily left by your parents, but that just means you'll end up with more good friends in the long run - not fewer. Poor you, I do sympathise.....

AussieLass

I hope my post gives you another perspective Divadee. I am the *parent* that [STRIKE]fled[/STRIKE] left the nest. DH & I are over here in the UK for a time. Not too sure how long for, we have 3 years of our visa left. We have three grown up kids 27, 25, 23 this year with one grandson who turns 2 this month. (Oh, how I miss him). We've only just arrived being here for 1 month.

I have a fantastic relationship with them and we are very close as a family. We've planned this trip now for a couple of years and we have worked bloody hard to achieve it. If any of our kids felt like you they never showed it. TBH I would have been devasted had they done so. We have been good parents to them & worked hard to give them a great start but now they are ADULTS it's our turn to have a bit of fun & togetherness before we slip into senility.

I miss my DGS very much but I am not his parent, so isn't my full responsibility like my own children were. He has a very capable Mum & Dad for that. All I can do is love and spoil him to bits. As others have said the distance with new technology isn't that far so please let them go with a happy heart.