Im Upset, and I know Im Being Selfish But.....

Lorian

divadee wrote:

they have said they will buy us a skype phone so we can atleast talk for free as often as we want, and we have email etc...

you are right about heart and head!! i know deep down they have to go, just inside bitter and twisted about them going!! its selfish and horrible to feel like that but at the moment, i just fluctuate from a crying wreck to being an angry bitter thing.

Get webcams and use netmeeting or some other program so you can video conference for free over the web.

Don't be angry and upset, be happy for your dad. They have lives too, don't think they won't be upset and missing you and the little one too. Support them, make it easier for both of you, not harder.

lottee

I can sympathise with the OP, my parents live in Australia, & they haven't seen my DS for over 2 years. Yes it is extremely hard, but they talk to him on the phone, we email LOADS of pics, send drawings etc. OK, it's not the same as popping in & out of their house, or them taking him to the park, but that's life I suppose. There is light at the end of the tunnel - they have already said they will be back each year, & you may possibly be able to visit - money depending of course. It's not forever, it's a few years - & there are people worse out than you - me for one!

divadee

*zippy* wrote:

Could you perhaps tell them how you feel to clear the air?

i have tried to but they just get upset and then i get upset, and its back to square one. I wish in a way they were going tomorrow or had not told me till nearer the time. Now when they call i just resent speaking to them, but then my head says oh snap out of it you are being unreasonable!!

i think it will just need to sink in within time.

sleepymy

I think when you feel the bitterness biting just remind yourself that you're lucky enough to have parents who are fit & healthy enough to take a move like this on. Many people don't get chances like this in life and you should give yourself a shake and be happy for them. They'll be feeling guilty enough without getting 'all picture and no sound' from you.

lottee

Also remember that they have bought their children up now, & they have lives to live also - although I'm sure they will miss you & your family loads of course! You have your life to live - with your very own family here.

Justie

oh divadee I'm so sorry it seems like such a horrid thing and 3 years seems so long - and it is for little kids - but it will go quickly. And with the internet and cheap phone calls it's easier than it used to be. The thought of it is probably worse than the reality and you'll soon get into a routine where you're close but far away. We have family and friends all over the globe and it's hard and even harder when small kids change so much and you don't get to share those things but you'll also have some great opportunities and who knows you may get more than one trip out of it if you can find some good flight deals or your parents may be able to pay towards them so they get to see you. It's amazing how you can find the money to do the really important things.

I think it's harsh for people to just tell you to get over it - you're entitled to worry about missing them and to think that it's sad they're going away. Try not to let it grow into bitterness though and do tell them that you're going to miss them even if you end up in tears cos it's lovely that you care that you won't see them as much.

liney

I think telling your parents how you feel is a very bad idea, as all it will do is make them feel guilty for taking a fabulous opportunity.

In a few weeks time you will be past shell shock, and hopefully be more positive about forms of contact mentioned. Web cam was a great idea, especially for the little one.

You never know, if your father is getting a good promotion perhaps he will offer to fly you out there to visit at least once.

Chin up. You will adapt.

Dumyat

dont make it hard for them to go. be happy for them even if you're not.
It is a bit harsh to say...but it sounds a wonderful experience for them. its only three years. webcams and the internet means its such a small world now.

Stargirl_3

OK, so you feel upset, thats understandable. But at least they will be coming back. I, like so many others, have lost a parent, so make the most of the time you still have and stop feeling sorry for yourself or you will regret wasting the bit of time you still have before they go.

Its their life so let them live it and enjoy it.

Clive_Woody

They have their life to live, you have got to support them in their decisions even if you don't like them. Look back and think how many sacrifices they made for you when you were growing up. If your daughter sees you getting upset she is going to pick up on that. Be thankful your parents are still around, they may be going a long way away, but they will still be at the other end of the phone. Many people lose their parents at an early age and then there's no phone where they have gone, you can still talk to them and see them when money allows.

Don't make them feel bad about going, you have to stop thinking of yourself and think of them and what an opportunity this is for them.

Perhaps you need some sort of counselling for your anger issues, this is not a good example for your daughter to be seeing.

Sorry to be brutal, but you need to step back and look at how you are reacting.