How have I upset my friend?

pendulum

You ordered a coffee, then had an exchange with the cafe worker which resulted in your frustration and a decision by you not to buy a drink at all; I cannot think how such a scene could take place without any resultant "bad atmosphere".

Perhaps your friend just wishes you had bought another drink or asked what the choices were - instead of deciding not to order anything, a decision which probably sent signals out that you weren't happy with the service.

Sometimes it's the friends that tell you it like it is, that are worth keeping, even if they tell you things, that you don't want to hear.

It seems like a relatively minor thing to fall out over; what were the other "home truths" she told you?

Ps. I have no idea of coffee names; I drink it once a year or so, usually when trying to keep awake when driving. I might have just said "don't worry about the drink" too, if I got frustrated by repeated requests for me to say a name of coffee that I don't know, but then that's me.

londonsurrey

Lah-tay.

You have not indicated any aspirations towards being a barista, nor do you consider being au fait with coffee terminology being the height of social refinement. Don't bother unless you're curious - you're fine as you are

xxdeebeexx

londonsurrey wrote: »

where she notices a lack, she not only can't/doesn't fix or ignore it, but also fixates on it, gathering it as ammunition or justification for her own superiority. This collection grows and festers, and you saw the resultant non-productive explosion.

Oh my goodness..............were you listening to the phone call? It was exactly that!

She had me believing that i had done something so offensive....

I wondered if there was a coffee etiquette that I was unaware of!

dx

londonsurrey

xxdeebeexx wrote: »

Oh my goodness..............were you listening to the phone call? It was exactly that!

She had me believing that i had done something so offensive....

I wondered if there was a coffee etiquette that I was unaware of!

dx

Lol. No, I just have a friend whose family included professional psychics in the past. She's simply taught me to hear what people say when they talk.

Pupnik

I am surprised the serving girl made the situation so awkward, surely she should have gathered that by 'coffee' you would mean the regular kind you would make at home, and would make you an Americano. It can be awkward ordering things when you are uncertain and the staff should try and help you, not make things worse.

As for the friend, that is very strange behaviour and I don't know why she would make such an issue of it.

SingleSue

I do go out (parents and hospital appointments, they like to stop off on the way home somewhere) but wouldn't be able to tell the difference either...I'm a tea drinker and coffee of any description is banned from my house.

Coffee is coffee to me, one level spoon in a normal sized cup and a dash of milk.

xxdeebeexx

runningwoman wrote: »

I think you DID put your friend in an awkward situation by making a thing about the price of the coffee. Regardless of your personal feelings about it, I actually would have felt uncomfortable about sitting there drinking tea (which presumably would have cost close to £1.99) when you had made a point about NOT getting a drink yourself because it was too expensive.

Treating someone should be a gracious gesture doing something you enjoy, not be an exercise in "well this is terribly wasteful and not really worth it really".

Yes I agree, but we have known each other for 34 years...

I didn't get the drink because I didn't know the correct name to ask for ..... having said that, I did mention the price, which of coarse would make her feel uncomfortable..

dx

xxdeebeexx

Pupnik wrote: »

I am surprised the serving girl made the situation so awkward, surely she should have gathered that by 'coffee' you would mean the regular kind you would make at home, and would make you an Americano. It can be awkward ordering things when you are uncertain and the staff should try and help you, not make things worse.

As for the friend, that is very strange behaviour and I don't know why she would make such an issue of it.

My friend is very clued up too, I can't understand why she didn't step in to help.

I wasn't bothered at the time... I didn't make a scene and I certainly didn't know that i caused offence.

Oh well,I'm sure it will blow over.

dx

Savvy_Sue

londonsurrey wrote: »

Lah-tay.

Surely in Italian it's lat-tay - ie short a?

Actually I've just listened to it on Google translate, and it's a sort of intermediate a there, not a long 'ar / ah' sound.

But frankly, anyone working in a cafe would an ounce of intelligence would go for 'black or white, hot milk or cold' if you looked bemused. And not care whether you said laaah-tay or lattay? MIL asks for a lahtea and gets what she expects.

Blackpool_Saver

I only go in one of those places and I have medium black coffee with soya milk, never been interrogated, they just give it to me