How have I upset my friend?

pimento

She was using the coffee as an excuse to vent about something else. Hence the home truths.

What were they, anyway?

Is she a woman of a certain age? I ask this being one myself.

jokeyjo

im totally useless in coffee places my friend just laughs at me then takes over as i umm and err and i normally end up with a soft drink and then we both moan over the price ,like others have said maybe your friend has other stuff going on and you got the brunt of it ,big hugs for you though x

Edwardia

Friendship is a compromise. It's a relationship between two people who both have to feel that the positives outweigh any negatives. If you move in different directions as people you have to be more flexible for it to work.

She sounds terribly jealous to me and when she has a go it makes her feel better about her rubbish life.

However I do think inviting someone somewhere, paying with LVs and then dumping her to get home to the kids is bad manners

Brighton_belle

Edwardia wrote: »

However I do think inviting someone somewhere, paying with LVs and then dumping her to get home to the kids is bad manners

She invited her friend to join her at an exhibition - that was the trip out and they both apperaed to have enjoyed that. The lunch was a spur of the moment 'let's have a bit to eat, my treat'.
In the friend's position, I would have thought 'how lovely someone thinks that much of me they are happy to use their vouchers on me, not just themselves'. I would also assume, going out with a friend with school age children, we would have agreed an end time to our 'date'. That is how normal, kind considerate friends treat each other, not getting offended or 'feeling dumped'. Even less so, knowing this was the OP's first treat trip out for ages and had had a tough time with sick parents too.
Any time I spend time with friend with kids I expect to accomodate to their timetable - and am very happy to do so. My friends really appreciate that i understand this - to me it is easy and apart of being a good friend as well as valuing the time I do have with them.

charlie-chan

In my opinion, I would ask the friend what the real problem was and why she felt like she had to have an outburst on the phone.

As a barista, I can tell you the following coffees are:

Latte - Espresso with steamed milk.
Cappucino - Espresso with frothy milk.
Mocha - Espresso, dark chocolate shot and steamed milk.
Americano - Espresso with hot water.

Too complicated but it is what it is. Always ask for a regular coffee and the serving person should understand

jellyhead

Being completely clueless about coffee - can I just ask, is an americano an ordinary black coffee that you can add milk to?

Dee is your friend going through 'the change'?

McKneff

Mojisola wrote: »

I can't believe some of the replies on here! If I couldn't comment on the price of something with a friend of 34 years without a rant telling me where I was going wrong in my life, then what was the point of all those years of friendship? I've had conversations with old friends about the price of stuff in cafes - we usually have a laugh about how no-one would have paid that much for it when we were younger.

The waitress and the friend were in the wrong in this situation. Neither of them should have made Dee feel so uncomfortable.

Dee - you have enough hard stuff going on in your life at the moment. You do not need someone who will moan to you about the problems with her cleaner. If she was a true friend, she would on hand to help you when she can and, at the minimum, be a sympathetic ear for you.

Cut the ties to this woman!

I agree with every single word of this post, and I would also like to add, your 'friend' is no friend at all and she is acting like a spoiled brat.

I wouldnt bother contacting her again to be honest.
You have obviously been a good friend to her in the past so it's her loss.

charlie-chan

jellyhead wrote: »

Being completely clueless about coffee - can I just ask, is an americano an ordinary black coffee that you can add milk to?

Dee is your friend going through 'the change'?

Yes it is. You can add milk or cream.

It is just a posh version of a nescafe + hot water from the kettle coffee.

Savvy_Sue

charlie-chan wrote: »

Yes it is. You can add milk or cream.

It is just a posh version of a nescafe + hot water from the kettle coffee.

My Dad always found coffee 'out' too strong for his taste, he used to drink weak instant at home. What should he have been asking for on the rare occasions he had coffee 'out'?

xxdeebeexx

poet123 wrote: »

Have you sorted it out now OP?

Thank you for asking.....

My friend has been away over the long weekend so I wasn't expecting to hear from her and, I wouldn't normally phone her on her mobile.

I am much more positive today and starting to bounce back. I was really sad though, and cried for quite a while after 'the phone call' and a couple of times since.

The last few months/years of caring for mum and dad has worn me down and maybe I was more sensitive than I should have been.

I made some blunders but, hey ho, so what!
I certainly didn't intend to offend.

However I do think inviting someone somewhere, paying with LVs and then dumping
her to get home to the kids is bad manners

I think there could be some truth in this though Edwardia.
She likes to "Talk" usually over a hot drink...... and I messed up! She was irritated that I had to leave for the children even though we had talked about it before our day out.She mentioned it during the telephone conversation.

Dee is your friend going through 'the change'?

I think she may be over that jellyhead ... it's not the sort of thing we would talk about.

I am not sure yet if I will phone her in a few days or not.

I intend to learn about coffee..... and i will go out with one of my, more local, friends who would be delighted to teach me (especially if I am taking the LVs).

Thank you all, so much, for your comments and suggestions......

dx