a fathers responcibilty to his kids

killiebabe

thnk you
londonsurrey for your advice... we are not using my partners ex GF disability as an excuse to move the child away from its mother... but the letter recieved from GF mother is using her disability in a nasty attitude.. in turn by insinuating the childs mother can no longer cope with the child .. so theyv taken over full care of the child..so we were looking for advice on how best to deal with this situation .
thank you.

Seanymph

The best way to deal with it would be for the child's other parent to faciltate the child remaining where it is, with it's mother, by offering more support.

thatgirlsam

killiebabe wrote: »

thnk you
londonsurrey for your advice... we are not using my partners ex GF disability as an excuse to move the child away from its mother... but the letter recieved from GF mother is using her disability in a nasty attitude.. in turn by insinuating the childs mother can no longer cope with the child .. so theyv taken over full care of the child..so we were looking for advice on how best to deal with this situation .
thank you.

So she can't look after the child.. at all?

Thats really very sad - So what exactly do the Grandparents want/need? How many holidays etc? Its an awful situation, and it may indeed turn out the the little boy may well be placed with his father if the mother cannot care for him

Are social services aware the the Mum can't care for the child and the grandparents can't cope - They may be able to put something in place to help her

I think you need to get some proper advice on this

I want to ask again - why won't she speak to him??

janninew

Seanymph wrote: »

The best way to deal with it would be for the child's other parent to faciltate the child remaining where it is, with it's mother, by offering more support.

What if that really isn't possible? Is Dad not getting full custody an option and little lad going to stay with Mum in the holidays an option? I don't believe either parent has more right than the other.

OP - Has the little boy given any indication where he would like to live? That seems to be quite important. Is he settled at you house when he visits. If Dad did go to Court for full custody and Mum has admitted she can't cope, then it seems that he would stand a good chance.

I say the above as a completely partial outsider and I know it won't be a popular post, but if Mum really can't cope and Dad can't move, what is the answer? This little Boy needs looking after and his needs should come first.

CH27

Exactly how often have you seen this child?

Why won't the ex speak to your partner?

balletshoes

janninew wrote: »

It's really interesting reading this thread as I remember plenty of others where Mum has decided to move to another part of the Country and take the Children, meaning Dad can't see them as often.
The responses were the polar opposite of this thread and went along the lines of 'Mum is entitled to get on with her life and live were she wants!'

I personally think when parents split, one parent moving far away isn't ideal and not fair on the children. If a parent does move though, they should be the ones responsible for the travel costs.

I don't think they were - certainly not in the threads like these that I've participated in.

I agree with you, it doesn't matter which parent keeps the child with them, the other should make the effort to keep contact up if they were the one who chose to move a distance away.

janninew

balletshoes wrote: »

I don't think they were - certainly not in the threads like these that I've participated in.

I agree with you, it doesn't matter which parent keeps the child with them, the other should make the effort to keep contact up if they were the one who chose to move a distance away.

I'm going to try and find an example in the morning as I know I've read threads along those lines and recently. I have certainly read that the PWC is entitled to move where they want and start a new life. The PWC in that thread was a women and it was a man asking for advice on what he could do to stop her taking their children away from him.

Ich_2

Just a slight thought, how do we know that what the child's grandmother is saying to the father is what the mother wants and if this is being done behind her back what reaction would occur if he went and collected the child even if just for a holiday

killiebabe

i dont no why the ex wont speak to my partner she jus never has since he moved away.. she still can speak btw even thou she physically disabled. my partner doesnt no either.

pinkshoes

Right, I'm normally one to side with rights of the father, but I think your OH is the one that needs to be moving heaven and earth to spend more time with his children.

Personally I'd like to see the law changed that if either of the birth parents move more than 25 miles from the last family home before separation, they become fully responsible for all costs so that the child(ren) can maintain a relationship with the other parent.

Your OH is the one that has moved away, so he needs to put his children first, immediately start looking for work near to his ex and children, then move ASAP. You should either support him in this, and move too (thus also looking for another job), or encourage him to go on his own. I wouldn't respect any man that wouldn't put his children first!

If you have a mortgage on your house, then rent it out. Don't use that as an excuse.

As for jobs, take what you can get for now, THEN look for something better.