a fathers responcibilty to his kids

*max*

I may have got this wrong, but why should the mother have to agree to have her son taken away from her and relocated hundreds of miles away just because she is disabled? It was the father's choice to move so far away, he didn't have to!

janninew

It's really interesting reading this thread as I remember plenty of others where Mum has decided to move to another part of the Country and take the Children, meaning Dad can't see them as often. The responses were the polar opposite of this thread and went along the lines of 'Mum is entitled to get on with her life and live were she wants!'

I personally think when parents split, one parent moving far away isn't ideal and not fair on the children. If a parent does move though, they should be the ones responsible for the travel costs.

killiebabe

seanynmph
im not very young nor am i inexperienced . the whole post is about advice on our current situation, we r doing our damness to do things the right way,, and not upset the situation any more than has been done..we are not in the position right now to "jus up and move" nearer the child. we are just trying to find an amicable soloution to everything that has happened.

RacyRed

killiebabe wrote: »

i understand the grandparents are old and have a lot on there hands to deal with ...but why did they stop my partner from relocating his son to scotland a couple of years ago ... it wasnt there decision to make, for the child to live with them, they should have realised they would gt older n become less capable of looking after there daughter n grandson . we would jus like to know if it would help everyone if my partners son came to live with us permantly.

Have I got these timelines right?

Daughter is now 18?
Son is now 5?
Ex partner had a stroke 4 years ago, when baby was about 1?
You and partner have been together for 2 years or so?
So after a long term relationship (evidenced by daughter's age) this guy left his partner shortly after she had a child followed by a stroke which partially paralysed her within a year of the birth?
Grandparents now picking up the pieces?

Jeez! I hope to hell I'm wrong, if not then do you fully realise what you have gotten yourself involved with?

As he moved away from his family responsibilities the fetching and carrying is down to him, that is unavoidable unless you both move nearer to his children. After all, if his ex is paralysed down one side can she even drive?

He gave up a home and a job to move to be with you, the reverse is possible for you both.

thatgirlsam

janninew wrote: »

It's really interesting reading this thread as I remember plenty of others where Mum has decided to move to another part of the Country and take the Children, meaning Dad can't see them as often. The responses were the polar opposite of this thread and went along the lines of 'Mum is entitled to get on with her life and live were she wants!'

I personally think when parents split, one parent moving far away isn't ideal and not fair on the children. If a parent does move though, they should be the ones responsible for the travel costs.

I would be saying the same if the Mum had moved away

I don't know why anyone would consider a move so far when they have small children

Seanymph

Well it would seem to me the 'right' thing for this man to do would be to prioritise his child.

His wife has gone through an horrendous experience with a stroke, and is dealing with disability, as well as coping with the break up of a relationship and trying to provide stability to a young child whilst that child's father has up sticks and moved away offering no support on a day to day basis. No wonder she's angry.

The 'right' thing would be for your boyfriend to move back. Whether or not you go with him is logistics, but he should go back and be near his child and offer his support to his ex partner who is trying to cope alone currently.

thatgirlsam

killiebabe wrote: »

seanynmph
im not very young nor am i inexperienced . the whole post is about advice on our current situation, we r doing our damness to do things the right way,, and not upset the situation any more than has been done..we are not in the position right now to "jus up and move" nearer the child. we are just trying to find an amicable soloution to everything that has happened.

Why won't his ex speak to him? There must be a reason

janninew

thatgirlsam wrote: »

I would be saying the same if the Mum had moved away

I don't know why anyone would consider a move so far when they have small children

So would I, but I have read many threads on here and the CS board and they often go along the lines that Mum can move on with her life and take the kids with her if she wants to move miles away from Dad!

I'm a women with a small baby so not biased at all towards men, but I am often amazed at the different answers men get on this forum compared to women in very similar situations.

Seanymph

I haven't seen the threads you mention, but would generally stand the same ground, children need both parents, therefore both parents should remain near where their children are located.

RacyRed

thatgirlsam wrote: »

I would imagine they did it to keep from breaking their daughters heart

It was your partners choice to move away from his son - The boys mother has made no such choice - Why should she have her child taken from her?

Agree completely with this.