Smacking. Could you/would you/do you?

elvis86

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

I stand by my comment earlier that something is very wrong with people who smack their kids.

Okay.

I'd be very interested to see where on a scale you place a parent who routinely beats their child and a parent who regularly sexually abuses their child, in comparison with a parent who smacks their child a handful of times during their life.

I personally think there's an absolutely massive gulf between the two. But presumably, as you believe that the latter has something "very wrong" with them, you don't think there's such a marked difference? Or maybe you actually believe that a parent who smacks their child a handful of times is no better than a parent who regularly sexually abuses their's?

Person_one

Why do you keep throwing up straw men? You're the only one talking about sexual abusers.

Is a man who hits his wife once or twice in their marriage as bad as one who repeatedly rapes her and beats her black and blue? No, clearly not, but there's still something wrong with the first man's actions and he shouldn't be forgiven just because others do worse!

Sambucus_Nigra

elvis86 wrote: »

Okay.

I'd be very interested to see where on a scale you place a parent who routinely beats their child and a parent who regularly sexually abuses their child, in comparison with a parent who smacks their child a handful of times during their life.

I personally think there's an absolutely massive gulf between the two. But presumably, as you believe that the latter has something "very wrong" with them, you don't think there's such a marked difference? Or maybe you actually believe that a parent who smacks their child a handful of times is no better than a parent who regularly sexually abuses their's?

Who mentioned sexual abuse? This is about smacking kids. Just because it's not as bad as sexually abusing children doesn't automatically make it right.

elvis86

Person_one wrote: »

I think a lot of working class people do a lot of reading when they're expecting, working class doesn't always mean uneducated or uninterested in learning. Most parents want to do the best for their children and understand that they won't instantly know how to get it perfectly right just because the baby arrives and is theirs!

Well, as I wasn't born, I'll have to take your word for the fact that 25 years ago, the vast majority of working class expectant parents in Britian were studying numerous parenting guidebooks prior to the arrival of their babies.;)

I never said that working class "meant" unedcated or uninterested. I was merely alluding to my perception that the majority of working class people 25 years ago probably wouldn't have made as big a fuss of having babies as some folk do now, and wouldn't have gone around acting like they were the first people ever to do it. And as I said, maybe I did my parents a misservice by doing so.

Sambucus_Nigra

Do you need a parenting book to work out how 'not' to hit someone then?

Another complete and unnecessary tangent.

Person_one

elvis86 wrote: »

Well, as I wasn't born, I'll have to take your word for the fact that 25 years ago, the vast majority of working class expectant parents in Britian were studying numerous parenting guidebooks prior to the arrival of their babies.;)

I never said that working class "meant" unedcated or uninterested. I was merely alluding to my perception that the majority of working class people 25 years ago probably wouldn't have made as big a fuss of having babies as some folk do now, and wouldn't have gone around acting like they were the first people ever to do it. And as I said, maybe I did my parents a misservice by doing so.

Do people go around making a big fuss and acting like they're the first now? Not in my experience.

Back when my grandmother was expecting more than 50 years ago all the new mums were reading Dr Spock, yes even the working class ones, parenting books have been around a long time!

Person_one

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Do you need a parenting book to work out how 'not' to hit someone then?

Another complete and unnecessary tangent.

Apparently these new fangled book thingies are full of silly ideas such as 'treat your children like human beings' and are only for namby pamby posh mums with au-pairs and courgettes. Salt of the earth working class parents just pop em out and get on with hitting em.

Sambucus_Nigra

Person_one wrote: »

Apparently these new fangled book thingies are full of silly ideas such as 'treat your children like human beings' and are only for namby pamby posh mums with au-pairs and courgettes. Salt of the earth working class parents just pop em out and get on with hitting em.

Bish Bash Bosh - so to speak...

elvis86

Between you, you would have a massive number of parents branded as "bad" purely because they chose to parent differently to you, despite their kids loving them dearly and having no issues whatsoever with the way they were raised.

If you think that's a valid use of your time and efforts then that's a shame. I can think of bigger fish to fry when it comes to protecting kids from harm.

I don't give a toss if you choose not to smack your kids - it's your decision.

You will get your knickers in a twist should I decide to smack mine - I can live with that.;)

Person_one

Plenty of bad parents are loved dearly by their children, its not really an indicator of how good a job they did. We're programmed to feel that deep attachment to our parents and to still desire their love even if they treat us terribly.