Child's Surname Different to Yours

HannahIOW

I have my dad's surname, my mum has hers from her previous marriage (my mum and dad never married) and it never bothered me while growing up, nor does it bother me now

piglet74

My daughter had her dads name for about 8 years before we married,

although it did not cause any real problems, she would have asked me when she was younger "are you sure you are my mum, you dont have the same name as me":D

and sometimes say "are you sure u are related to me an daddy...":rotfl:

she laughs now at her comments!

she never questioned it at the time, tho another kid said to her once "your mum and dad must not be married"!

Gillyx

mildred1978 wrote: »

Are you implying that unless you share a surname you aren't a family? Surely you're already a family?!

Why are you always so aggressive?

Im not implying anything. Id prefer for us all to have the same surname as that is how I was brought up and see family. It has no bearing on what anyone else does whether it be mothers surname, fathers name, or a completely made up name, if they see themselves as a family great.

FBaby

I actually experienced it the other way around. I was born with my mum's name (because they were not married at the time), then took my dad's name when they finally did (before I was two) and then a few years after they divorced, my mum suddenly decided I should take her name and changed it again (although not officially). Well I hated it. I lived with mum, so my dad every other week-end, was close to her too, but I had associated my name as being my first name and dad's surname and changing it was like stripping me of my identity. I never told my mum so not to hurt her feelings, but when I turned 18, I went back to using my dad's name only.

My kids have their dad's name, we never married so different from me and it has never been an issue, that's who they are and that's that. I think we live in a society that having a different name from one's mum is not considered taboo any longer. It is interesting when we go on holiday with my partner. We look like the perfect biological family, then we show passports with three different names!!!

System

When i remarried i changed my childrens surname from my first marriage to my new married name by deed poll. Since their 'Father' wasnt in their lives it was never an issue.

I just didnt want my older children to feel left out when i started having children by my second husband.

We did consider him adopting them but didnt really feel it necessary at the time and i didnt like the idea of us both having to adopt them.

Mojisola

Judi wrote: »

When i remarried i changed my childrens surname from my first marriage to my new married name by deed poll. Since their 'Father' wasnt in their lives it was never an issue.

I just didnt want my older children to feel left out when i started having children by my second husband.

We did consider him adopting them but didnt really feel it necessary at the time and i didnt like the idea of us both having to adopt them.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, as he hasn't adopted them, have you made wills? The children of your first marriage will have no right to inheritance from your present husband unless specifically named in his will. Any reference to "my children" will be taken as his blood relations, eg. if you died first and your husband inherited from you, on his death only the children of your second marriage would inherit from him.

Kimberley

All my children have my surname even though their dad had access to them. My daughter who has just had a baby has registered him in our surname. I wouldn't have wanted a different surname to my kids whether I was married or not. I wonder how the law works for a couple who were born in different countries who have children. If the child/ren had the same surname as the father and not the mother and the mother lived in England but the father say was born and came from another country snatched the children after seperation to live with him in his birth country. Would the mother have a legal right in the other country considering she doesn't share their surname?

System

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, as he hasn't adopted them, have you made wills? The children of your first marriage will have no right to inheritance from your present husband unless specifically named in his will. Any reference to "my children" will be taken as his blood relations, eg. if you died first and your husband inherited from you, on his death only the children of your second marriage would inherit from him.

Your not sounding like a broken record at all. Yes i am aware of the implications of not making a will. I didnt own a house before my oldest children became adults...the adoption is something i bitterly regret now as it would have made things much simpler.

building_with_lego

esmy wrote: »

We did the opposite and opted for the boring name, so they didn't have to go through life spelling their surname as I have to do every time!

Lol, it's not that exotic really.
My surname was bestowed upon my forbears as their Russian name was too difficult for English tongues to pronounce (so the story goes) and thus is really rather dull! OH has a name of Mediterranean origin but one that's well known over here, no spelling required!

wannabehermit

I didn't find it embarrassing when it was just me and my 2 boys. They have their dads name, and I was thankful to never be burdened with it. What I did find embarrassing however was after meeting DH, we'd book a holiday or something and there'd be his surname, my surname, plus the boys surname on the booking. Then DD came along and I felt even more embarrassed by the 3 different surnames. Now married and back to 2 different surnames is actually fine. I'd rather my boys had our surname and that DH would be able to adopt them but unfortunately their dad is still lurking on the scene.

The worst thing though I always found was/is that people just assume that you are Mrs whatever, I always hated it when people would call me that when I was with him, but now is even worse. It's fine if you like your partner and are planning on marrying and taking their name but if you don't like your partner or are split up from your childrens dad and they have their surname it's not nice. Mrs ****** is my ex mother in law, I wish people wouldn't assume that is me as well.