Child's Surname Different to Yours

Gillyx

Same here LO has OH's surname.

We will be getting married soon though, just a registry office jobber though. I'd love a big wedding but the cost is too much and I'd rather be a family than wait years for that.

Aimless

My children both had their dad's name, when the eldest's dad left, I changed it to mine. However, I do like my youngest's name as a whole, and don't think I would change the surname if the same happened again. I have no plans to get married though, it's just the way I like to name them!

Pont

We weren't married, and still aren't 20 years later, when our children were born. Both girls have my surname which has never caused any problems. Now that they are both much older they can choose which ever surname they want - they've both opted to keep my family name.

Btw - Both names are really boring so not too much 'choice' really!

JC9297

balletshoes wrote: »

I thought the opposite was usually the case ie the child has the mother's surname?

We were unmarried and not living together when our DD was born, she was given my (mum's) surname until we got married, then we applied to have her birth certificate changed when she was 2 years old.

Practically all of the unmarried couples I have known with children have given them their father's name. To be honest I think it is an acknowledgement that the parents are in an ongoing relationship and they are a family. Everybody knows who the child's mother is, by giving the man's name it is sort of declaring who its father is.


I think people will often assume dad is not on the scene when Miss Maidenname calls her child Baby Maidenname.

Mojisola

If you have enough savings or a house, it's worth looking at the savings in inheritance tax you can make through being married.

If you don't get married, it's very important for your own and your children's sake that you both make wills. If your OH were to die without a will, you wouldn't inherit anything from him. Would that leave you with financial problems?

It's worth reading through all this - https://www.advicenow.org.uk/living-together/ - to understand your situation.

busybee100

Fredula wrote: »

I think you've hit the nail on the head there, if I'm honest.

At least you now have a starting point. Keep us posted on what you decide to do.

faux_2

Why not give your child both your surnames?

esmy

building_with_lego wrote: »

Nope, doesn't bother me in the slightest. (OH's surname is much more exotic than my boring one so they were always going to have his.)

We did the opposite and opted for the boring name, so they didn't have to go through life spelling their surname as I have to do every time!

mildred1978

Gillyx wrote: »

Same here LO has OH's surname.

We will be getting married soon though, just a registry office jobber though. I'd love a big wedding but the cost is too much and I'd rather be a family than wait years for that.

Are you implying that unless you share a surname you aren't a family? Surely you're already a family?!

scrappie_2

My parents divorced when I was 2yrs old, so for those two years we all had the same name - I don't remmber a day of it. For the following 38yrs me and mum have always had diferent surnames. It has never bothered me, to the point that tonight is the first time I have considered it. As far as I know, it's not been an issue for mum.

As far as people asking questions/ making you feel uncomfortable - mum always used to open up with ' Hi I'm Bill, Ben Smiths mum'.

To this very day mum will always state her own name first, then add that she is the mother/ wife of 'x'. As she put it, she was given her own name first, and that is who she is:D

I see her point and it doesn't offend me!