Birth Mother

NickyBat

Only just caught up on this SDW (how could i miss it doh) made up for you that it is all coming together.

whitewing

I love this thread.

Cinders:

What a lovely heartwarming thread. Wishing you lots of luck with your new found family x

seven-day-weekend

Hi everyone.

Just realised it's a year today since I posted the letter and a year on Sunday since I had the reply

Just want to thank everyone again for their support, it has really helped me, especially in the early days.

Will post more tomorrow.

Thank You Everyone.

meritaten

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Update:

My aunt's nephew on her husband's side texted me today to say that he is going to bring Mother and Aunt over to my house in May His wife is coming too. I hope I have enough chairs!

It will be good to show them where I live and it is actually quite near the home that Mother was in for the six weeks after my birth when she had to look after me before I went to live with my adoptive parents. I can show it her if she wants to see it. Don't know whether she will or not. It's an old peoples' home now.

Your mother had to look after you for six weeks? That is cruel! in six weeks she must have bonded with you and you her. that has made me cry - it is an unbelievably a cruel thing to do to women/girls and then make them give up their babies. she must have been devastated. I would think that home is the last place she would want to see.

She loved you hun - she must have really loved you. she let you go to a better life than she thought she could give you.

seven-day-weekend

[QUOTE=meritaten;60562773]Your mother had to look after you for six weeks? That is cruel! in six weeks she must have bonded with you and you her. that has made me cry - it is an unbelievably a cruel thing to do to women/girls and then make them give up their babies. she must have been devastated. I would think that home is the last place she would want to see.

She loved you hun - she must have really loved you. she let you go to a better life than she thought she could give you.[/QUOTE]

Awful isn't it? That was the norm in those days. Like a punishment. Then after six weeks the people who were adopting the baby came to take the baby away.

Mother told me that one of the other mothers in the home came to her and said 'they are taking your baby away' and they had been told not to look out of the windows to watch because it would be too upsetting, but she did and saw me being taken, she said she was crying and didn't want me to go, but had no choice.

Bear in mind that this was in 1950, not the Middle Ages,or even Victorian England, and was like it, afaik, until the 1970s :eek: .

I now wonder if this is the event my adoptive mother told me about, when she said she had seen a girl crying who she realised later must have been my birth mother?

My adoptive parents had a 'choice' between me and another baby.

All very sad for her, but happy for me and my adoptive family. What a double-edged sword.

I mentioned to her that I lived near there and she said 'oh is it still there?' and seemed quite interested. I'll see if she wants to see it on the day. We don't need to pass it to get to my house.

mumps

meritaten wrote: »

Your mother had to look after you for six weeks? That is cruel! in six weeks she must have bonded with you and you her. that has made me cry - it is an unbelievably a cruel thing to do to women/girls and then make them give up their babies. she must have been devastated. I would think that home is the last place she would want to see.

She loved you hun - she must have really loved you. she let you go to a better life than she thought she could give you.

It must have been incredibly hard but she might have cherished the memories of those precious six weeks for all these years. If it was me, and thank God I have never lost a baby, I would not give up those weeks for anything even though it would hurt. I know others might feel differently but that is my perspective.

In the very early 1970s I lived close to a home for unmarried mothers, what a different world. I remember queuing for the phone, no mobiles then, and would often hear some poor young girl, only a teenager, crying and begging her parents to let her bring the baby home, even just come and see him. I suppose they hoped that if parents saw the baby they would soften. I wonder if it ever happened?

I am glad everything is going well for you SDW, I can't remember if your birth mother had any more children? You have a whole new family anyway.

seven-day-weekend

mumps wrote: »

It must have been incredibly hard but she might have cherished the memories of those precious six weeks for all these years. If it was me, and thank God I have never lost a baby, I would not give up those weeks for anything even though it would hurt. I know others might feel differently but that is my perspective.

In the very early 1970s I lived close to a home for unmarried mothers, what a different world. I remember queuing for the phone, no mobiles then, and would often hear some poor young girl, only a teenager, crying and begging her parents to let her bring the baby home, even just come and see him. I suppose they hoped that if parents saw the baby they would soften. I wonder if it ever happened?

I am glad everything is going well for you SDW, I can't remember if your birth mother had any more children? You have a whole new family anyway.

No, she never did. It was one of the things that helped me to make my decision to contact her.

The tale you tell is very sad . I'm glad it's not like that now.

Mojisola

mumps wrote: »

In the very early 1970s I lived close to a home for unmarried mothers, what a different world.

When I was growing up, we lived near one of these homes. It wasn't just the way the girls were expected to hand over their babies, it was the way they were treated - as "bad" people, second-class citizens - and yet all those girls didn't get pregnant by themselves! The boys/men involved just carried on with their lives.

Raksha

Mojisola wrote: »

When I was growing up, we lived near one of these homes. It wasn't just the way the girls were expected to hand over their babies, it was the way they were treated - as "bad" people, second-class citizens - and yet all those girls didn't get pregnant by themselves! The boys/men involved just carried on with their lives.

Not all of them did, I was adopted, my birth mother got on with her life and refuses to see me or have any contact. My Father commited suicide when I was 4