Ms, Mrs or Miss?

sharrison778

In relation to the OP, I think you can use your married name as you were never technically divorced. As long as your new partner doesnt care.

On a tangent, for those posters on here saying they continue to use Mrs married name after divorce, how would you feel if your ex got re-married?

My fiance's ex wife still refers to herself as Mrs HisName. When we get married, I intend to take his name, so there will be two Mrs HisNames. I know its none of my business but I'd kinda like her to revert back to Miss or Ms, just to distinguish who is the current wife. Especially since I think it might get confusing in relation to their kids.

JC9297

sharrison778 wrote: »

In relation to the OP, I think you can use your married name as you were never technically divorced. As long as your new partner doesnt care.

On a tangent, for those posters on here saying they continue to use Mrs married name after divorce, how would you feel if your ex got re-married?

My fiance's ex wife still refers to herself as Mrs HisName. When we get married, I intend to take his name, so there will be two Mrs HisNames. I know its none of my business but I'd kinda like her to revert back to Miss or Ms, just to distinguish who is the current wife. Especially since I think it might get confusing in relation to their kids.

Presumably there will be very few occasions when the three of you will be somewhere and introduced as Mr x, Mrs x nd Mrs x so can't see why distinction will be needed. I also cannot see how her not changing her name will make things confusing in relation to their children. It just seems like you want her to change for your sake.

Caroline73_2

Wilma33 wrote: »

I wish all women would use Ms. My martial status is nobody elses business. I will always be Ms, regardless of surname.

But it doesn't necessarily mean that whatever you use reflects your marital status.

I am Miss maiden name but I am married. My youngest son has my husbands surname. I was married to my eldest sons father and then I was Mrs ex husbands name. I could've kept this after I divorced, so been single but a mrs. My eldest son has his fathers name. So there are 3 surnames in my house. No-one has ever got confused.

I am actually intrigued as to why some women are so worried about people knowing their marital status anyway. It might be none of their business but does it actually matter?

jackieb

Caroline73 wrote: »

But it doesn't necessarily mean that whatever you use reflects your marital status.

I am Miss maiden name but I am married. My youngest son has my husbands surname. I was married to my eldest sons father and then I was Mrs ex husbands name. I could've kept this after I divorced, so been single but a mrs. My eldest son has his fathers name. So there are 3 surnames in my house. No-one has ever got confused.

I am actually intrigued as to why some women are so worried about people knowing their marital status anyway. It might be none of their business but does it actually matter?

I'm confused just reading it.

Person_one

Caroline73 wrote: »

I am actually intrigued as to why some women are so worried about people knowing their marital status anyway. It might be none of their business but does it actually matter?

Does it matter? Well that's exactly the point, it doesn't, so why the need for signifiers!

Its the inequality you see, men aren't expected to announce their marital status all over the place for stuff as simple as getting an insurance quote or reserving a restaurant table. If it doesn't matter whether a man is married or not then it shouldn't matter whether a woman is married or not.

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

Does it matter? Well that's exactly the point, it doesn't, so why the need for signifiers!

Its the inequality you see, men aren't expected to announce their marital status all over the place for stuff as simple as getting an insurance quote or reserving a restaurant table. If it doesn't matter whether a man is married or not then it shouldn't matter whether a woman is married or not.

We are luckier than men, in that we have more choice in this respect, we have the option of a title that may ( or may not) indicate marital status. I know some women who wish their husbands had such a 'choice ':D

We can use a non identifing ms, miss does not necessarily mean unmarried. As someone who used mis andmrs simulataneously i too felt 'proud' of BOTH. I have never, ever given a title booking a restaurant table, amd in fact have taken a lead from my fil and often hook tables in my first name. This made me delighted at first when fil did it, as instead of usung his correct title and surname he said table for 'x'. And mr x and his guests were seated. Its a deliciously anonymous inversion of using a more 'intimate' first name. When booking in surname no one has ever asked me for miss, ms or mrs though.

rachbc

I've been all in every possible scenario -

I was bron Miss C, married -becuase Ms C (didn't change my name), divorced and reverted to Miss C, co-habited and once again became Ms C (has a DS who has his dads name), seperated but kept Ms c - cohabited again and had DD who has her fathers name - married him, became Mrs A same as my DD and OH!

BekahC

the whole ms miss mrs thing annoys me - I legally changed name from mrs c to miss f after leaving my husband and we are still married now, although i hope for not much longer. for me it was removing myself from him not that i was embarrassed at all. Personal preference x

redd1800

I have been Ms since I first thought about it in my teens. I will remain a Ms when I get married for the first time this time next year.

I do plan on taking my other half surname, mainly because its a great and convienient excuse to change my surname, and due to family issues, it will be nice to leave my fathers surname behind me.

I HATE miss! I have been working as a carer since I was 17, and still at 31 get patronised by older carers for being young and inexperienced, Miss just reinforces that for me. I feel that as an adult, Miss doesn't work for me.

I dislike Mrs equally as much - none of anyone's business whether I am married or not, especially people who don't know me.

My wedding ring will be my only visable sign of my marriage - my new husband will of course also be wearing a wedding ring.

I do however fully respect every other woman's right to choose how she is addressed. Ms works for me, and I do fight to be addressed as such. However I wouldn't challenge any other woman to change hers.

sarymclary

Four_leaf_clover wrote: »

I think its odd that people refer to you as anything other than Mrs XXXXX (whatever your married surname was). Just because you are widowed does not mean you would revert back to being a Miss or Ms or use your maiden name again. I thought women only did that when they got divorced. Even then its not a given and they dont have to.

My nan was known as Mrs XXX till the day she died and my grandfather had passed away 15 years before her. All her documentation remained in her married name.

I would not dream of calling someone by a different name, to that which I had always known them by, unless they advised me of being called something else.

I am in a bit of a bl**dy minded mood today, its not been the best. I would be tempted to send the mail back with a big 'not known at this adress' written on the envelope when it isn't adressed to the name you use. That would let the sender know that your name has not changed wouldn't it

I think family & friends have maybe used the Miss and Ms. titles probably because I am in a new long-term relationship (8 years), and perhaps are a bit unsure if I (or maybe new OH) might be offended if I were still to be called Mrs Husbandsname, so adopted what they saw as a safer title, although reverting back to my maiden name was a bit of a shock even for me!

I was fortunately in a reasonable mood the days those envelopes dropped through my door

sharrison778 wrote: »

In relation to the OP, I think you can use your married name as you were never technically divorced. As long as your new partner doesnt care.

On a tangent, for those posters on here saying they continue to use Mrs married name after divorce, how would you feel if your ex got re-married?

My fiance's ex wife still refers to herself as Mrs HisName. When we get married, I intend to take his name, so there will be two Mrs HisNames. I know its none of my business but I'd kinda like her to revert back to Miss or Ms, just to distinguish who is the current wife. Especially since I think it might get confusing in relation to their kids.

I think it might be more confusing for their children to have mum suddenly start using a different name to them. I don't think their children will be at all confused about matters, and will understand that their mum and dad were once married, and that you are going to be his new wife. When it comes to having children in schools, their mum will invariably always be referred to by her ex-married name, just because her children have it.



It annoys me when delivery drivers drop off parcels that my OH has ordered, and they always assume I'm Mrs Boyfriend'sname, and I have to correct them and say no, I'm Mrs Marriedname... That might sound a bit dodgy on reflection :rotfl: Ah well, I'll say I'm the cleaner!

It think my upbringing was very traditional, so I've just conformed as time has gone on. I don't even know if I'd change my name if I were to remarry... actually, I don't even know if I'd remarry... that's a whole other thread