Ms, Mrs or Miss?

sarymclary

I'm a bit unsure how others think about this, so thought I'd ask here, with all you sensible lot

I'm widowed, living with a new partner. I have 4 children from my marriage, and none from my new relationship.

I have always continued to be called Mrs. xxx, as tbh, that's what I've considered my name! It never occurred to me to be called anything different, and when you have kids, you'll generally be called Mrs. (same surname as kids).

I noticed in some recent mail from family & friends, that they had addressed me as Miss or Ms. On a couple of occasions I've been addressed by my maiden name (I married over 20 years ago).

I'm now a bit unsure if I am right to still be calling myself Mrs, and if people actually think I'm a bit odd doing so. Also, whether on legal documentation and forms I'm correct to still use Mrs, or I should be using Ms. or Miss?

I'd be interestedd to hear of anyone else's experience, or just opinions.

Thanks!

lostinrates

Personally i would stick with mrs first husbands name. Not least because its thie same name as the kids i assume. This offers them some continuity. If i married again i would take stock and make a decision based on my, oh's and children's emotions etc at the time.

What would you like to do/be called?

one_hot_minute

I think whatever you want to do is right!

I can understand as a mum / woman of a certain age, mrs is more fitting but more and more people are getting militant about reverting to miss or using ms...why yanno, is fine too. I can understand people being unsure and going with what they think is a modern day norm (ms / miss) but i do think mrs is just fine if that's what you want. Particularly as you are widowed and not divorced. The only thing I would worry about was it being a barrier to meeting someone new?

SandC

She lives with her partner one hot minute so hasn't been an issue up to now.

I say totally up to you what you wish to be called and there is nothing wrong with still being called Mrs xxxx. I know plenty of divorcees who still call themselves Mrs xxx married name to keep continuity with their children and because they don't dislike the name I guess.

If it isn't an issue with you, your partner, and your children then I wouldn't worry about it.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

I think times have moved on with names now, I have same surname as my children, but its different from their father's name.

Here's my opnion:

Unmarried lady: Miss (Maiden name)
Married lady: Mrs (Married Surname)
Divorced lady: Ms (Maiden name)
Widowed: Mrs (Married name)
Seperated lady: Mrs (Married name)

The only time I think a widow should change her surname is when/if she remarries.

Saying that - My MIL stuck to her married name after being divorced for more than a decade - only changing it when she re-married recently

If I am unsure if the person is Miss/Ms or Mrs i just omit the "title" - Otherwise I would ask!

Mojisola

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

I think times have moved on with names now, I have same surname as my children, but its different from their father's name.

Here's my opnion:

Unmarried lady: Miss (Maiden name)
Married lady: Mrs (Married Surname)
Divorced lady: Ms (Maiden name)
Widowed: Mrs (Married name)
Seperated lady: Mrs (Married name)

The only time I think a widow should change her surname is when/if she remarries.

Saying that - My MIL stuck to her married name after being divorced for more than a decade - only changing it when she re-married recently

If I am unsure if the person is Miss/Ms or Mrs i just omit the "title" - Otherwise I would ask!

Since when did Ms mean a divorced woman?

one_hot_minute

I think mimi was telling us what she'd use in each situ.

janninew

Mojisola wrote: »

Since when did Ms mean a divorced woman?

I always thought Ms was an unmarried, older lady title! I have an old Aunt that has never been married and she likes to be known as Ms Bond, she said being called Miss sounds odd when you are 80 years old!

victory

I would use Mrs:D

GobbledyGook

In your shoes I'd definatley still use Mrs Marriedname.

People have occasionally called me by my maiden name since I got divorced, but Gemma Marriedname is my name now, has been for many years and I don't intend to change it. I still use Mrs as well.

I can understand why some divorcees would want to change their name back, but I want to keep my name the same as my children and I don't want to change back.

jackieb

Don't feel pressurised in stopping using the name you're using just now if you don't want to. People might just be confused as to what to call you - they might be afraid they're upsetting your partner if they call you by your married name and chances are they're just not sure what to put down.

If you changed back to your maiden name, people would still get confused anyway.