BIL put us in very awkward situation with birthday meal!

System

But I don't think they are eating in somebody's house, they are going to a restaurant where you have things like staff to be paid, profit to be made, business rates to pay etc.

Basic raw materials may only come to a fifth of that price but then you have the things above to consider.

mishkanorman

We would do as suggest earlier, my hubby would go on his own and i would perhaps join them later, or not depending on if possible !

adouglasmhor

tea_lover wrote: »

Blimey, we must really slum it round here then! My weekly food shop (for both of us) is only about £35, there's no way I could justify £90 on one meal.

To be honest you sound like some of the customers we used to get, "£3.50 for soup and a sandwich! It's only some vegetables in water and a couple of bits of bread".

967stuart

You want to go a slap someone for inviting you out months ago because you don't want to pay ??

Weird ...

£90 for a posh meal isn't the end of the world, what was you expecting to pay ?

£5 beer and burger ?

clearing_out_my_pockets

As it's a special birthday, he might have chosen that restaurant as it's her favourite... I also have a 'larger' birthday coming up in June and although I'm not much of a birthday person, if my DH arranged a surprise meal in a bar I wouldn't be too impressed TBH. Normal birthday, yes. Milestone, no. That may not make me very popular here, but still!

Personally I think that although your BIL should have told you where he was planning a lot earlier (so you could budget appropriately) you also shouldn't have assumed it would be a bar. Sorry!

Pee

Since you can afford it on the credit card, do that and keep spending to a minimum to pay it back as soon as possible. It's a landmark birthday and worth cutting back in other areas. To be honest that is the sort of cost I would be expecting with a celebration meal, too.

Hope you have a lovely time.

tea_lover

adouglasmhor wrote: »

To be honest you sound like some of the customers we used to get, "£3.50 for soup and a sandwich! It's only some vegetables in water and a couple of bits of bread".

I'd happily pay a sensible amount for a good meal, but £45 for one meal for one person is not a sensible amount.

doodoot

He should have warned you earlier that it would cost an extra £90 on top of a card and present.

If it were me I most certainly wouldn't be allowing MIL to pay for it, and if you are skint then it's stupid to get into debt over a meal.

Tell BIL you aren't going and that HE needs to explain your reasons to your sister.

May cause a argument between them, but that's his problem - he should have organised it better rather than just make a block booking.

Make a mental note that in future if you are invited to a surprise dinner that you ask if you need to contribute.

I would be miffed if we were invited to a surprise dinner and was asked to pay for it!

Would he have asked for contributions if he was doing a party at home for her? Hmmmm....I think not, so why should a restaurant party be any different?

When me and my brothers had a restaurant party for my mum's 70th, we paid for it between us...we wouldn't have dared for shame to ask the invitees to stump up for their food.

paddy's_mum

It's the going behind my back to cadge off a skint, elderly lady that would have me spitting rage and wanting his guts for garters.

That is some bare-faced ruddy cheek!

Judith_W

I agree about one going and the other maybe turning up later. Also, check this includes drinks and any tip, and be wary if others order extra wine etc that they don't just suggest splitting it!