BIL put us in very awkward situation with birthday meal!

Bexm

LEJC wrote: »

Exactly the same sort of surprise party happened for us too...2 adults and our child...£90 to celebrate the birthday...and whist with hindsight it was a nice meal and evening we all enjoyed...it still makes cringe at the whole thing and wish I had had the guts to say no to the original request or at least have asked what the financial implication would have been...
Unfortunatley you are caught between the rock and the hard place on this one unless you really feel that by declining the invite it wont cause bad feelings...I didnt want to go to the party that we attended...but I also recognised that by not attending it it would deeply upset the relation involved...so reluctantly I handed over the money and we all went along...it has to be said though I did only take a card and no gift as I really felt the party was the gift from all...

I'm sure the meal will be nice (if not I shall be sure I get some money off at that price!)
There will be bad feelings all round if we don't show as hubby's family is quite close! (hence why we didn't think he would book an expensive meal!) hmm...

Hoping all her friends haven't dropped out as well becasue of the price!

Bexm

fluffnutter wrote: »

Frankly, your BIL sounds like an arse.

:rotfl:

Truthfully he's not, he's lovely!
I cannot believe he's phone MIL though! Words will be had (with or without hubbys consent!)

After all this lot thinking we're probably going to have to grin and bear it!

sassyblue

All things considered l would go. Either pay on credit card or let MIL pay and pay her back bit by bit.

It's not worth falling out over, seriously. You did say it was a big birthday coming up, so let them push the boat out.

The first question you should ask yourself is 'do l really want to go?'.

If you do everything else sorts itself out.

fluffnutter

Bexm wrote: »

:rotfl:

Truthfully he's not, he's lovely!
I cannot believe he's phone MIL though! Words will be had (with or without hubbys consent!)

After all this lot thinking we're probably going to have to grin and bear it!

It's good to know he's lovely - sorry to be so rude! But why did he do this then?

I'm a bit confused about the kinship but your husband's mother is your BIL's MIL right (as well as your MIL)? In which case, perhaps it's not so bad as I first thought. Even so, I can't understand why he's offering her financial help to you, rather than his own! Cheeky!

I agree that you're probably going to have to put up with this and just go. Some things are just not worth falling out over.

Mojisola

Bexm wrote: »

Suppose I'm more annoyed at him than anything else, especially as he know's MIL is skint and that we haven't got much money as Hubby been off work sick for last yr.
We've been scrimping for months and managed to almost stay off the CC.

Bexm wrote: »

There will be bad feelings all round if we don't show as hubby's family is quite close! (hence why we didn't think he would book an expensive meal!) hmm...

Hoping all her friends haven't dropped out as well becasue of the price!

Won't there be bad feelings from all the people there who have been forced to pay far more than they can afford for someone else's celebration?



If my OH was the BIL and he did this to our family and friends, I would be mortified and very upset on their behalf.

Keeping_Motivated

How about agreeing to let MIL pay but insisting on paying her back either in small amounts or in one lump sum when you have saved it up? You actually pay her some of it back straight away I assume as you knew you were going out for the meal and would have been paying out a lesser amount anyway so you could start by giving her that?

Mojisola

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

How about agreeing to let MIL pay but insisting on paying her back either in small amounts or in one lump sum when you have saved it up? You actually pay her some of it back straight away I assume as you knew you were going out for the meal and would have been paying out a lesser amount anyway so you could start by giving her that?

Isn't the MIL already living on her CC? So it won't just be the cost of the meal, she'll be paying interest on it as well.

Bexm

fluffnutter wrote: »

It's good to know he's lovely - sorry to be so rude! But why did he do this then?

I'm a bit confused about the kinship but your husband's mother is your BIL's MIL right (as well as your MIL)? In which case, perhaps it's not so bad as I first thought. Even so, I can't understand why he's offering her financial help to you, rather than his own! Cheeky!

I agree that you're probably going to have to put up with this and just go. Some things are just not worth falling out over.

Hey don't worry about being rude.. I'd think he was an !!!! if I'd read this! She's his MIL too.
I have a sneaky suspicion that he's has the place in mind but only just tried to book it and then realised how expensive it is.
Have no idea why he phoned MIL though, she must have mentioned something before about helping? She's way too kind and always offering to help out with stuff when she can barely survive herself.

We'll go.. and pay.., suppose credit cards are for "emergencies"!!
The food had better be good!

Nicki

Can you split this down into components? You would have paid a certain amount for a bar meal, and had budgeted for that. How much had you budgetted? Say £30, so that you can pay immediately surely.

Of the balance, could you split this in two? Half you will put on your credit card and pay off in full at the end of the month, when your next pay packet comes in. And half you will borrow off your BIL and pay him back the following month, with no interest. Whilst he may not feel like subbing you £90 for the night out, he might be OK about subbing you £30 given that the expensive choice of restaurant is down to him and its a loan not an outright gift.

Alternatively, postpone giving the sister a gift for her birthday (or forego the gift completely) and put the money saved towards the cost of the meal too, with any excess on the credit card.

[Deleted User]

How about going halves with your MIL? That way you only have to find an extra £45 on your credit card payment this month and you could repay your MIL at a future date by paying for her when you all do something together