BIL put us in very awkward situation with birthday meal!

FatVonD

Is that £45 before drinks too? :eek: I wouldn't be going. Could you have a work commitment that means you won't be able to go but can join them for coffees afterwards?

My meal dilemma pales into insignificance compared t yours. My BIL has booked a restaurant for Mother's Day that costs just under £20 per head but when you take into account that our share will be for the two of us, both my parents, my son and one of DH's parents you're suddenly looking at £120 for one (mediocre) meal.

We have enough Mr T vouchers to pay for the whole family (including BIL and SIL and DH's other parent) at a similar chain but DH won't let me disrupt the plans as someone else has organised it :mad:

I'm so tight :rotfl:

mogwai

Bexm I agree with the poster above - your BIL does sound a bit of an !!!!!!

It was his idea to arrange an expensive meal, he should be putting up, not phoning MIL and arranging for her to pay! The cheek!!!!

If I'd arranged an expensive meal out for hubby bday I'd make sure it was to everyones budget and moreover if someone was struggling I'D pay for them. Its his wifes bday after all..

* Just read fluffnutters post, said what I was thinking. Agreed, just get some flowers and a card instead of a present or something..

davetrousers

Go to the Restaurant's website and look at the a la carte menu and say you'll order off that. Then you can go without starters and dessert.

Maybe charging £45 supplements their meal.

zzzLazyDaisy

davetrousers wrote: »

Go to the Restaurant's website and look at the a la carte menu and say you'll order off that. Then you can go without starters and dessert.

That's a good idea. Except you may well find that the price per person has been worked out on a set meal basis, and includes a portion of the price that the main guest (and possibly her partner) would have paid, so they in effect go free. If that is the case, then that is definitely your gift sorted!

I'd go with the person who suggested splitting the cost into sections - after all you were happy to pay for a bar meal for two, and presumably a gift, so that's a slice of the cost. Put whatever you will be able to afford to pay off at the end of the month onto your own credit card (I definitely would not go into debt over this). Then tell your BIL that you are £x short and ask him to sub you. Make it clear that you will not ask MIL to put it on her credit card and get into debt on your behalf, so this is the only way you can afford to do it. If he won't/can't help you out, then stick to your guns.

pinkclouds

FatVonD wrote: »

Could you have a work commitment that means you won't be able to go but can join them for coffees afterwards?

^This is the best idea so far. Borrowing money (on credit cards) *is* for emergencies. A party is *not* an emergency. You could also... time it to arrive exactly at the "coffee" stage and bring a homemade birthday cake as your gift. And if you have kids, ask them to make the birthday card.

spendingmad

Could just one of you go?

j.e.j.

Bexm wrote: »

Hi
Last night he emailed us over the menu that we have to choose from, the meal is on Saturday and at the bottom it said £45 each!!! (we has absolutely no prior warning of this!)

:eek:
Bloomin 'eck, that'd better be some meal!! I cannot imagine eating £45 worth of food in one go, - that's about my grocery budget for the week :rotfl:

Sounds like BiL's got 'RollsRoyce ideas and a pushbike income', as my gran used to say. Is it too late to change venue? How do other family and friends feel about it all?

System

My hubby's sister has a big birthday this week and her husband (BIL) has been arranging a surprise dinner for her for the past few months

And you expected a bar meal?

"Big Birthday" & "surprise dinner" straight away says it's not going to be a bar meal or standard cheapie meal in a pub!

You've known about it for a couple of months why didn't you put some money aside in preparation?

System

j.e.j. wrote: »

:eek:
Bloomin 'eck, that'd better be some meal!! I cannot imagine eating £45 worth of food in one go, - that's about my grocery budget for the week :rotfl:

Sounds like BiL's got 'RollsRoyce ideas and a pushbike income', as my gran used to say. Is it too late to change venue? How do other family and friends feel about it all?

£45 for 3 courses and wine sounds pretty good for a decent restaurant. (a bit OTT if it was Little Chef though)

tea_lover

!!!!!! wrote: »

£45 for 3 courses and wine sounds pretty good for a decent restaurant. (a bit OTT if it was Little Chef though)

Blimey, we must really slum it round here then! My weekly food shop (for both of us) is only about £35, there's no way I could justify £90 on one meal.