6 year relationship - girlie advice request

londonsurrey

Has anyone read this? Is it any good?

Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sex-Tips-Straight-Women-Gay/dp/0060392320

Little_Ole_Me

Its definatley not a health issue, in the sense he 'cant get it up'

Dunroamin

Little_Ole_Me wrote: »

What - cudding as a routine is a problem?

I think that anything's a problem in a relationship when it becomes a matterof routine.

FatVonD

Could one of the blokes that think a man is fortunate to be getting it 3/4 times a week please pop round and tell my DH that, he thinks he's hard done by.

benb76

FatVonD wrote: »

Could one of the blokes that think a man is fortunate to be getting it 3/4 times a week please pop round and tell my DH that, he thinks he's hard done by.

You make it sound like it's a chore for you and that you don't appreciate being desired in a physical way!

System

Theres a list a mile long that puts my husband off.

He's tired
Hes stressed
He's hot
I'm hot
He's worried
He's depressed
Someones p!$$ed him off (not necessarily me)
He's angry (usually at me)
I'm not wearing the right bra
Our son isnt asleep yet
It'll wake the dogs up and they will start scratching to go out
He needs the bathroom but cant be arsed to get up cause the house is cold

and they say we women are hard work.....:rotfl:

Little_Ole_Me

Dunroamin wrote: »

I think that anything's a problem in a relationship when it becomes a matterof routine.

I guess so, esp when it comes to s*ex things.

I like my cuddles at night

Still didnt get one last night, cos he started ranting and raving over something I think to be trivial and ended up sleeping on the settee. He seems to be screaming and shouting at me for any old reason over the last couple of weeks, I do not shout, I cannot bear it it makes me nervous.and he knows this. Apparently I threatened him last night - so he says, as whilst he was in mid-scream , I said to him 'You want to stop shouting'.

I just think plain and simple he's had enough of being with me, for whatever reason and his treatment of me is starting to make me feel the same

euronorris

hazyjo wrote: »

Is there a 'reason' as such with you? Might be helpful to know if it's whether you've gone off them in that way, if it was ever there to start with, if you've never really been big on it, or if it's something else... Hope not too personal to ask, but it'd be interesting to hear it from your perspective. Oh, and has it improved/become more frequent since 'the talk/s'? I really just believe that you're like it with some people, but not with others!

Jx

I really don't think that is true. I am the one with the lower drive in our relationship. We're still at it very frequently (I feel). About 4/5 times a week, but OH would do it 3/4 times a day if he could! And I would be happier with 2/3 times a week.

It's always been like that. I've always been like this. And I don't consider my drive to be low. I do, however, consider his to be very high. So we compromise, and meet in the middle.

It can be a challenge at times though. We're both very stressed at the moment, and react in opposite ways (his drive goes up and mine goes down). So, again, we're just talking and having to compromise with each other about it.

I've learnt to initiate it more, as that was really bugging OH, and he's learnt to not pressure me about it (nothing worse than pressure in this situation - it's a sure fire way to ensure my libido drops even further).

And, of course, having some relaxing holiday time together can really help. When you're both feeling relaxed and stress free, it's much better.

OP - I'm often still tired at the weekends. Not physically perhaps, but mentally and emotionally. Especially at the moment. So please don't dismiss that as just an excuse. Instead, ask him what you can do to help him feel less tired.

FatVonD

benb76 wrote: »

You make it sound like it's a chore for you and that you don't appreciate being desired in a physical way!

Didn't mean it to sound that way, my situation is very much like Euronorris's except she puts it better than me!

benb76

Little_Ole_Me wrote: »

I guess so, esp when it comes to s*ex things.

I like my cuddles at night

Still didnt get one last night, cos he started ranting and raving over something I think to be trivial and ended up sleeping on the settee. He seems to be screaming and shouting at me for any old reason over the last couple of weeks, I do not shout, I cannot bear it it makes me nervous.and he knows this. Apparently I threatened him last night - so he says, as whilst he was in mid-scream , I said to him 'You want to stop shouting'.

I just think plain and simple he's had enough of being with me, for whatever reason and his treatment of me is starting to make me feel the same

Sounds horrible and very similar to a 7 year relationship that I had that I stayed for about 5 years too long. Finishing that relationship (7 years ago) was a turning point in my life, which has been brilliant in every way since. If you do decide that you no longer want to be with him then be brave and take the chance of a new life.