Poll - Did you have a good mother?

Hermia

I just can't answer that question. I get on well with my mum and she is a nice person. But she also has some personality traits and hang-ups that meant she did damage me as a child. I am still trying to break free of some of those things. As I say, she is basically a nice person, but she probably should not have become a mother.

mazy_m

My mum is the most selfless person I've ever met. She cares so much about everyone in her life and never puts herself first. I love her to bits and respect her so much as a person. She had me so young and wasn't in great circumstances and could have gone down so many routes yet she worked her bum off for me and my siblings and it shows with how much we all respect each other. Like others I wish I could show my appreciation more. One day in the year and an commercial one doesn't seem enough.

I'm so lucky to be blessed with my mum and I just hope that her influence will make me be even half the amazing mum she is to us!

Alizarin

Good in some respects - she worked hard to get me and my sister into the best school in the area, we got to try out new hobbies and go to whatever activities we wanted (goodness knows how many Sunday mornings my mum missed to take us horse riding!) and we never went without anything.

However, now I'm an adult she is great at the subtle guilt trip (I don't think she even knows she does it) and I've been left rather messed up by the way she treated me when I was 18 and going through a really bad time. I don't think she even knows that she was the trigger for my depression, and I've never told her cos in every other respect she does so much for me

elly2

Voted no i had no contact with her for about 5 yrs before she died (she was a bad grandmother as well as a bad mum) she died 7 yrs ago(while i was giving birth to my youngest child) but on the plus side she did teach me some valuble lessons the main one being to never end up like her.

Absinthe_2

I have voted Yes. She worked hard, and made sure we had a decent upbringing, and comfortable life. Not a huggy type person when we were younger, as was very busy, and we got disciplined, but I'm grateful for everything. We always had nice holidays, not just based on the beach, but interesting ones, plus she is fab. Great fun. I love her, and give her loads of hugs.

adouglasmhor

Yes and still do.

Louise.H

I voted yes, my mother has been there for me no matter what. Seeing the way her own mother treats her has made me so grateful of how she is with me. My grandmother is one of the nastiest people I've ever come across sadly, everything my mother does is wrong. She has broken up her relationships and then become close the ex's, telephoned her employers saying that she should not be promoted etc etc.

pixie76

Melonade wrote: »

My real mother was rubbish and I was in care by the time I was a few months old. She died when I was 18.

My Nan who brought me up gave me everything I needed and more. She was there for me always, like she was for all the family. I turned to her like she was my mother when I needed help/advice/support.

Sadly she she died suddenly on Wednesday afternoon and we've been left shattered, destroyed and broken. I called her Nan but she was more like a mother to me than I could ever ask. She was the most amazing woman in the world :A

So sorry for your loss.

My Grandmother brought me up & was my Mother.When she passed away the amount of grief & sadness I felt was huge. My Mother is not a bad person,she had a lot of health issues & problems. I see her every week , but I do not feel close to her & she is very self involved & seems to not really know much about my life....

MaryAnne

Hmm, I felt I had to join in on this one.

My mother wasn't a bad mother, in that she never did anything to harm/neglect me, but she also did very little to nurture me.

All the memories from childhood I have doing 'family' things are with me dad; even to the point that it was always dad that tended to me when I was ill.
I was never spoilt as a child, or had great treats (days out with my parents etc) and there are chunks of my early teen life that hold no maternal memories at all (even at christmas time).

I think my mother played very little part in my younger life, and it's only since my dad died 3 years ago that I've learnt that my mother is an alcoholic and has probably been so for most of my life, which explains a lot. At the age of 40 (me) and her now 70 I am sadly realising that she wasn't much of a mother at all, and is now very much a troublesome child....

ilovecheese

I voted No

My mum never hit me or abused me, but she never demostrated that she loved me either.

I was never encouraged to do welll in school, and feel like I brought myself up! I really don't remember having conversations with my parents, and can go for months without speaking to them or seeing them, and it is always me that goes to them, or calls them, if it was left to my parents to keep in contact we wouldn't speak for years!!!

My mum often says that if she knew then what she knew now she would never have had children - thanks for that!!

Not really sure why my parents chose to have children, its like they had us then thought "ummmm what do we do now???"

After reading some other posts, maybe my mum was not really that bad, just un-interested!!