So irresponsible with money

Foggy

You need to leave him. I know from personal experience what living with essentially a child is like. I left it far too long and yes it's a huge change and shock to the system but you are answering your own questions.

Your daughter will be happier in the long run which is the main thing. Of course the ideal is that parents are together but my daughter is happy outgoing and settled.

There will no doubt be emotional ties that you may realise more once you are on your own but you should not forget why you had to leave.

January20

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Then lady - you are a fool.

Firstly for putting up with it and secondly for not realising that this is evidence for when you divorce him.

I think the OP is doing what I've seen happen here a few times: she is venting and ranting. She will use this thread to relieve some of the pressure she is under in her daily life, but she won't make any changes, just come back every few months and do the same. She will have excuses for every good piece of advice regarding leaving her current situation.

It takes courage and strength to leave, and those of us who have done it know that, but we also know how good life becomes. In any area of life, you don't get great rewards without any pain and hard-work.

tabby_cats_mum

This is one of the most depressing threads I've read in a while.

bluescissors, imagine if a friend came to you and said all of these things about her OH or you heard someone talking on the bus telling of her life with a !!!!less man, I bet your advice would be to leave and run as far away as possible!

I truly believe you are being emotionally abused and are worn down plus reading between lines I get the impression you are scared of him BUT your tenancy is nearly up and you can afford a place on your own, you are in a lot better place than a lot of women could ever hope to be. Please, please get out of this relationship for the sake of your daughter and yourself.

vasseur

January20 wrote: »

I think the OP is doing what I've seen happen here a few times: she is venting and ranting. She will use this thread to relieve some of the pressure she is under in her daily life, but she won't make any changes, just come back every few months and do the same. She will have excuses for every good piece of advice regarding leaving her current situation.

It takes courage and strength to leave, and those of us who have done it know that, but we also know how good life becomes. In any area of life, you don't get great rewards without any pain and hard-work.

You have hit the nail on the head here. Well put.

bluescissors I can't believe that such men exist. As you have no one to compare him to I'll bet he'll have you believe that all men have these disgusting habits, well actually they don't - at least not the ones that have respect for both their partners and themselves.

It is hard being a single parent but the rewards are all yours, you can stay in control of the finances and generally be a much happier person.

Get out of this relationship as soon as you can - there's nothing in it for you now.

jetplane

I think it's just so irresponsible about everything. I've seen some stomach turning things in my work but the state of your house is not all down to your OH neither is the state of your finances. Stop blaming him for everything while making excuses for him. Yes he is vile but you need to take some responsibility if not for you then for your DD.

There is no way on earth I would have went on a luxury no expenses spared holiday with my home life in such a mess. Why didn't you ask for proof of the holiday being paid for before you went? He must have given them some security of payment before he went.

As for living with a child? Children have better manners.

Lizling

bluescissors wrote: »

He is due home from work shortly. I shall see how he reacts when i mention the disgusting incident this afternoon again.

Why? Do you expect him to have changed, and to break down and apologise for being a disgusting lazy slob and for everything he's ever put you through? Is that what you're waiting for? Because that isn't going to happen until he gets the divorce papers, and even then he won't mean it.

I hope the next post on this thread is good news about how much better everything is now that you've booted him out.

Taadaa

I am gobsmacked. Gob. Smacked. A grown man who cannot wipe his own !!!! properly and wipes bogies on the wall?? My DS used to do that when he was four!!

jetplane

Taadaa wrote: »

I am gobsmacked. Gob. Smacked. A grown man who cannot wipe his own !!!! properly and wipes bogies on the wall?? My DS used to do that when he was four!!

:rotfl:laughing out loud when I read this

Penny-Pincher!!

OP. Do you love him? If so, you need to work things out, sit down and talk it out, BUT if you don't, then what the hell are you waiting for?