How to ask for cash as wedding present?

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Weddings & Anniversaries
112 replies 45.1K views
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  • i cant be doing with a miserable lot tonight. would say thanks for the input but you've not helped. not asked for your opinion, just asked for a way of wording something. i know our guests were more than happy to put money towards something we really wished for.

    end of.

    They are miserable aren't they? My partner and I are getting married in August and we already live together and have all the household stuff. The only thing we would really like is a honeymoon but....we can't afford one! Lots of our family members have actually just assumed that they will be giving us money and to others who don't want to I have said John Lewis vouchers would be nice so we can upgrade some of the household stuff. No, I do not feel able to ask for the money so we aren't actually putting a 'wish list' for a honeymoon in the invite envelopes but my aunty suggested that if we did put something in the envelopes it would say something along the lines of: We don't ask for anything but if you do want to give something then a donation to a charity would be lovely or perhaps some money towards our honeymoon. This would go down better and you would get people donating to a charity of your choice.

    Does this help at all?:confused:
    :love: Baby Bump born 4th March 2010! :kisses:
  • lotteelottee Forumite
    1.4K Posts
    One prob with lists i guess is once all the cheap presents are gone what do you do then? :confused:

    We've just been invited to the evening reception of some friends, & their wedding list is at Debenhams. I've had a quick look, but will have to wait til' payday to buy anything - lol!!! But there is an option to purchase gift vouchers/card also, so I assume that if you can't afford what's on the list, then you would buy vouchers to the value of your choice. They have things ranging from £5 - up to around £80.

    BTW, Frugal Fox, great idea you had!
    :D I am in the future you know...
    ...9 hours ahead to be exact !:D
  • Frugal_Fox wrote:
    I think the best thing your friend can do is to NOT put a list or a request in with the invitations. If a guest requests to know what they can buy - then your friend should contact them personally. If she's expecting money then she needs to be able to ask for it in person. A standard 'line' may offend some people - something I'm sure no-one would want to do deliberately.

    Okay it didn't completely work for me as I still got unwanted items, so maybe request gift vouchers if they don't fancy 'sponsoring' their honeymoon - which I'd be happy to do should a friend ask me!!

    Good luck

    Good post :T
  • Here are some poems for you....

    An Ode to the Gift List

    In a wedding invitation,
    You usually find some lists,
    For venues, menus and hotels,
    And also for the gifts

    But this one is unusual,
    It comes in a different way,
    As we're not asking for presents,
    But for something else today

    Now please don't think we're selfish,
    Or that this comes from greed,
    But we've lived together for a while,
    So there's not that much we need

    We would appreciate help though,
    To send us on our way,
    And allow us to have our honeymoon,
    In a land quite far away

    So now the point of all this rhyme,
    The thing that we would like,
    Isn't towels, toasters or microwaves,
    But pounds and pence alike

    And now you know the reason,
    Behind this cheeky accord,
    Please help to give us memories,
    Of a dream honeymoon abroad.



    :j


    We know it's not traditional
    It's not the way it's done
    But instead of a wedding list
    We'd like a bit of sun.
    Please do not think of us as rude
    Please do not take offence
    We do not want to upset you
    That's not the way it's meant.
    We've lived together quite a while
    And all the bills are paid
    We've got our plates, our pots and pans
    Our plans have all been made.
    So if you'd like to give a gift
    To help us celebrate
    Some money for a honeymoon
    We would appreciate



    :j


    We are sending out this invitation,
    And hope you will join our celebration.
    If to send a gift is your intention,
    In modesty we would like to mention,
    We have already got a kettle and a toaster,
    Crockery, dinner mats and coasters,
    So rather than something we have already got,
    Please give us money for our saving pot.
    But, most importantly, we request,
    That you turn up as our wedding guest



    :j

    We haven?t got a wedding list,
    The reasons we?ll explain
    It?s to save you all the hassle
    As shopping is a pain.

    We thought we?d ask you all
    For something else instead
    A small contribution towards
    A holiday in the med.

    So if you?d like to contribute
    Towards our honeymoon
    We offer you our heartfelt ?Thanks?
    With love, the Bride & Groom.



    :j


    We haven't got a gift list, for all of you to see,
    Because as you all know we never can agree!
    But if you'd like to help us, start our married life,
    cash or high street vouchers, would save a lot of strife.




    Hope these help ;)
    Sammie x


    pass me the sick bucket :rotfl:

    Is it just me thats hates these erm "poems" :confused: cheesy as hell

    you cant "pretty up" the fact you are requesting money from your guests,its far better IMO to be upfront instead of using a poem to get your request across :confused:
  • dawnybabesdawnybabes Forumite
    2K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    ✭✭✭✭
    My sister got married years ago and asked for Thomas Cook vouchers (albiet it was very close family only) and we where happy to do this - might have been different if it was out to lots of "friends".

    I knew a couple who got married and had a huge do, loads of people. They where very comfortable and the brides mum had died a few years b4 from breast cancer so they asked people for donations on the day to BC amd provided tins on the tables & bar. They must have had 150 to the day and over 300 at night and they collected (wait for it) ..... £230.00 of which £90 was from us as a collection from work. They where distraught and commented afterwards that they would rather have had presents and sold them and they would probably raised more.
    Sealed pot challenge 822

    Jan - £176.66 :j
  • Guinea wrote:
    They are miserable aren't they? My partner and I are getting married in August and we already live together and have all the household stuff. The only thing we would really like is a honeymoon but....we can't afford one! Lots of our family members have actually just assumed that they will be giving us money and to others who don't want to I have said John Lewis vouchers would be nice so we can upgrade some of the household stuff. No, I do not feel able to ask for the money so we aren't actually putting a 'wish list' for a honeymoon in the invite envelopes but my aunty suggested that if we did put something in the envelopes it would say something along the lines of: We don't ask for anything but if you do want to give something then a donation to a charity would be lovely or perhaps some money towards our honeymoon. This would go down better and you would get people donating to a charity of your choice.

    Does this help at all?:confused:

    I certainly don't think the other posters are being miserable they are being honest as to how they feel when being told that the happy couple WANT money. Some people feel uncomfortable with this, surely it's not hard to understand why.
    Hit the snitch button!
    member #1 of the official warning clique.
    :D:j:D
    Feel the love baby!
  • what on earth is the world coming to?? I suppose next children should stop writing to father christmas incase he gets offended?

    :rolleyes: FGS! :rolleyes: you have compared a wedding to like giving to a cancer charity and now your comparing it to santa claus. :rolleyes:
    Hit the snitch button!
    member #1 of the official warning clique.
    :D:j:D
    Feel the love baby!
  • andyrulesandyrules Forumite
    3.6K Posts
    ✭✭✭✭
    What a sad thread this is! It reminds me of the parody made on Coronation Street recently when Cilla and Les married - purely to get expensive wedding presents given to them. :rolleyes:

    I got married in the 70s, and was given a variety of presents. Some close relatives found out what we needed and others gave a gift of their choice. I still have some pieces of china in my cabinet - a reminder of the kindness and of people I don't see much any more. Most of my friends were also setting up home and simply couldn't afford much.

    Someone mentioned that we should keep up with the change in times. How right they are, with many people already having their homes together, perhaps we should move towards just giving a small, personal token of friendship rather than a down payment towards a holiday or double glazing.
  • thesaint wrote:
    I don't class someone voicing a different view to my own as "Slagging me off".

    You are extremely lucky to have friends whom all think the same as yourself. I have friends who I have fundamental differing views, but wouldn't hesitate to invite to such a special day because I wanted cash and they didn't like what it represents.
    I would invite them to witness my marriage to someone whom I intended to spend the rest of my life with.

    You've completely missed my point.My friends don't all share my views, but I would expect them to voice any concerns directly to me rather than whispering behind my back like schoolchildren.
  • victoryvictory Forumite
    16.2K Posts
    My nephew got married and he asked for Argos vouchers- no money denomination so the individual could choose how much they wanted to part with...in the end he had £1,250 worth of vouchers which he used for house hold goods and everyone was happy.... my nephew did not end up with lots of toasters...got exactly what he wanted and the invited did not feel pressured to come up with x amount of money xxx
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