How to ask for cash as wedding present?

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Weddings & Anniversaries
112 replies 45.1K views


  • ImpImp Forumite
    1K Posts
    Me and my DH have been reading this thread with mixed feelings.

    We both think asking for money is rude. For our wedding, my DH didn't want a wedding list, just our friends at our wedding, but we found people expected a list so set one up at Debenhams. People still gave cash/cheques but we used this to buy things off the list and told them exactly what they had bought for us. We thought this was more personal than using the wedding money for the gas bill.

    Both the wedding and the honeymoon are about who is there. You could have the perfect most expensive wedding in the world, but if you aren't surrounded by family and friends then it is wasted money. Similarly, all you need for your honeymoon is your new spouse. We took this to heart and spent 35 times more on our wedding and entertaining our friends than we did on our one week honeymoon. Both were perfect.

    Please please please do not use the phrase "your presence is more important to us that your presents" as it is so tacky. For anyone wishing to use this phrase, I suggest you visit

    to see just how bad some invitations can get!

    We did ask guests to donate to charity in lieu of a present, if they wanted to, and some people did. Naturally we thanked them and explained why the charity was important to us.

    Maybe if times are a changing, and people have everything they need, we should get out of the habit of asking for wedding presents, rather than getting into bad habits of asking for money.

    Lots of love

    Mrs Imp
  • When we got married we had a gift list but not many people bothered with it, OH had his own home so really didn't need very much. We ended up with a cupboard full of stuff that never saw the light of day.
    Now it's daughters' turn and she and her partner have been together for 7 years now. She grew up with our cupboard and says she just hasn't got the room in her little flat for one of her very own. They are renting at the moment and are saving towards a deposit for a house of their own (as well of course for their wedding), they would much rather have help towards their very first home of their own than a cupboard full of useless items.
    We found this lovely poem that she is thinking of using;
    Many of our guests have enquired
    For a gift idea to be inspired
    We have enough dishes and towels for two
    So we have a favour to ask of you.
    A wishing well we thought would be great
    (But only if you wish to participate)
    A gift of money, an amount you can afford
    Would be really appreciated, you can be assured
    At our reception, drop your gift in the well
    Then make a wish, but shhh… don’t tell!

    We hope our request is okay
    For this would help make our day
    Then when we choose something new
    We can say it was all thanks to you
    And in return for your kindness, we are sure,
    That you will get what you wished for.
    But most of all we do request
    That you come and be our wedding guest!
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