How to ask for cash as wedding present?

KidMoe

I don't think there is any difference between having a gift list and asking for money. The thing about gift lists that annoys me is that invariably they are full of things that you wouldn't dream of buying yourself - chopping board sets for £30, knife blocks for £60.... At least if you are contributing to a honeymoon your money is going somewhere worthwhile.

exil

£28,000? Wouldn't that have been better as a deposit for a house? Or a new car?

A wedding day is just one day in your life. If you are married 40 years that is 14,600 days. The ever-escalating extravagance of weddings is just another symptom of people flaunting their wealth (even when they can't afford it). And at a time when the average marriage lasts 10 years.

This is a money-saving website. Surely cutting down on massive weddings and gifts which no-one needs or wants is one way of doing this. Some of the best weddings I've been to have been very modest in cost. In fact people have been glad to help out by baking cakes, making sandwiches, making dresses etc, and probably got more satisfaction than by throwing cash at the couple.

thesaint

To all those people who never had a negative remark about them asking for cash on their wedding day, of course you didn't, but I bet lots of people talked about it behind your back.

It's the same as everybody saying that my son was cute when he was a newborn baby. No one is going to say that he was ugly to my face, but as soon as they left the house they probably said "Wow! That's one ugly baby"(Of course they would've been wrong, he's gorgeous).

I don't have a problem with however much people want to spend on their wedding.

If people have everything they want prior to a wedding then wouldn't it be nice to tell guests this and stipulate no gifts, or am I being silly? I would love to go to a wedding that had mentioned this, I would sit and think that this couple have decided what is important to them.

Jet

exil wrote:

Some of the best weddings I've been to have been very modest in cost. In fact people have been glad to help out by baking cakes, making sandwiches, making dresses etc, and probably got more satisfaction than by throwing cash at the couple.

What a great idea - everyone chipping in to make it a great day for everyone.

Isn't that what it SHOULD be about?

KidMoe

thesaint wrote:

To all those people who never had a negative remark about them asking for cash on their wedding day, of course you didn't, but I bet lots of people talked about it behind your back.

It's the same as everybody saying that my son was cute when he was a newborn baby. No one is going to say that he was ugly to my face, but as soon as they left the house they probably said "Wow! That's one ugly baby"(Of course they would've been wrong, he's gorgeous).

Depends on whether you've got a decent group of friends or not. If I believed my friends would slag me off behind my back because I asked for cash on my wedding day then they wouldn't be invited in the first place.

bloomin_freezing

Jet wrote:

Justie - not assumptions about the wedding anyway.....

didn't actually specify this was about my friend, it was just an example.

jburfot

my wife and i got married last august. We wanted money to put towards our honeymoon in Hong Kong & Oz. We let it be known in passing to people we would rather cash.

We also wrote a polite note saying if you wish to give a gift please give money as we would like to use it to put towards our dream honeymoon in oz and HK.

theres no really easy way to ask but its more and more common these days, especially as most engaged people tend to live together anyway and have the majority of things offered on wedding lists.

ignore those who moan about it in this thread, its their day and if they want money then so be it. Those who moan can do what they want on their day

jburfot

also forgot to mention, in Greece and Italy to name a few countries money is only whats ever given, so its not as if its unheard of.


We had no bias whether we received £10 or £200 - as far as we were concerned everyone who gave a present we appreciated and thats that

thesaint

KidMoe wrote:

Depends on whether you've got a decent group of friends or not. If I believed my friends would slag me off behind my back because I asked for cash on my wedding day then they wouldn't be invited in the first place.

I don't class someone voicing a different view to my own as "Slagging me off".

You are extremely lucky to have friends whom all think the same as yourself. I have friends who I have fundamental differing views, but wouldn't hesitate to invite to such a special day because I wanted cash and they didn't like what it represents.
I would invite them to witness my marriage to someone whom I intended to spend the rest of my life with.

Smashing

Can't be all just live in sin?