Having problems with DD2 now :(

Darlyd

msb5262 wrote: »

Hi OP,

I can see you are having a very difficult time and you have my sympathy. Looking at this as an outsider, there seem to be a few things going on which could be changed for the better.

Please forgive me for speaking bluntly -



I can't understand why anyone would put a dvd on for a child who is meant to be going to sleep!

I know that DD2 isn't the source of your main difficulties but things like this sum up how problems develop.
Young children need a quiet bedtime routine with quality time from their parent or carer - it's all part of learning good sleeping habits and feeling loved, safe and relaxed.
I'm afraid you need to abandon the whole idea of screens for both daughters, then if anything bring DD2's bedtime forward and spend some positive time with DD1.
If that means you have less time or no time with your OH of a week night, so be it - your DD1 is in a crisis and it's having a massive impact on all your lives.
So in the short term you probably need to meet her needs before yours or your OH's - after all, SHE is the child and YOU are the adults.
Your emotional needs should take the back seat for now.
To anyone who thinks this is a bad idea, DD1 is forcing her own emotional needs to the top of the agenda in a very negative way - if her parents choose to put her first for a while, the whole family is likely to benefit hugely. Either way, she's at the centre so the family might as well opt into being positive and proactive with it rather than allowing DD1 to drive everything.

Ok I'll shut up now!

Best of luck OP

MsB

Bless you, Thank you for your reply.

DD2 only this year (xmas pressie) has had a tv, she has always been good girl for bed, we put on educational dvd's for her for bed, off at 7.30 then big kisses and hugs and off she goes to sleep, but she started getting up every hr or so, I know why now, she has been battling tonsillitis AGAIN (3rd lot of antibiotics since xmas). She is no trouble honestly.. well apart from being bossy, and not giving a poo when someone messes with her, but in a way that is good? DD1 was never like that, she didn't know when someone was doing her head in, she always went back for more...

DD2, has had a tv since she was DD1 age, if I took that away now without a punishment she will go mental, she is not a normal child..

My attention fully goes to DD1, trust me, please read the whole thread, It's the chores, or being told what to do, or not getting her own way, or something not going her way when she freaks out..

God I would love to have a night with just me and DH, we not been close in that way for months, it's so frustrating.. I would also love just me and DD2 time, painting nails, plaiting hair etc but I darn t...

Bang head against a brick wall seriously.. It's so frustrating.. I love my kids so much, but something has to give..