Oh no done something awful, now scared.

catch_me_if_you_can

She assaulted you. The Police wouldn't care less about emails allegedly being deleted but hands on another person is assault.
Don't worry about that aspect - but do reconsider how close you want this person to be to you. If she pushes you over a small disagreement what would she do if further "provoked"

Look after yourself xx

skypie123_2

To be honest I think you acted pretty disgracefully. This woman has mental health issues and yet you snapped at her and then deleted her emails. Are you 15 years old??
She didn't deserve that kind of treatment.
No she shouldn't have assaulted you but she is obviously not well and your behaviour has hardly helped.
Yet all you can think about is yourself...
She is probably better off far away from 'friends' like you.

mancitychick

Given this thread has had over 1900 views but only 23 comments, I am guessing most don't see what you did as being that bad/bigger deal! I cannot see you getting into any trouble (apart from grief off "friend") for deleting the emails.

Artytarty

I have stood by her for years and years when other people have had the sense to give her a wide berth.
None of RL friends can understand why I ever bothered.
I have had her for Christmas when her mother was in hospital, invited her to family parties,taken her to the doctors and bank , I could go on and on. And when she asks for something she expects instant compliance.
Yes, today I was busy and less tolerant.Perhaps you think I deserved what I got then.

catch_me_if_you_can

Artytarty wrote: »

I have stood by her for years and years when other people have had the sense to give her a wide berth.
None of RL friends can understand why I ever bothered.
I have had her for Christmas when her mother was in hospital, invited her to family parties,taken her to the doctors and bank , I could go on and on. And when she asks for something she expects instant compliance.
Yes, today I was busy and less tolerant.Perhaps you think I deserved what I got then.

I certainly don't think so!

OK you did a petty thing. But that was all! Please don't beat yourself up over this. xx

skypie123_2

So she trusts you and probably sees you as family.
Yet you shouted at her and kicked her out and when she tried to apologise, bearing in mind she doesn't have the coping skills you do you refute her apology after deleting her emails. Who even knows how important those emails are to her.
Of course I don't condone violence.
But all you've done on here is play the victim with an incident that happened with someone with mental health issues and talk about how she would come off in court. Is there no concern for her wellbeing? This is someone you've known 35 years.
The way you talk about your 'friend' is pretty disgusting and I can't believe people are advocating you lie to this person with MH issues to cover your own back.

Yorkie1

No, I don't think you deserved what you got. I agree with catch me if you can's post.

Yes, what you did wasn't right. But you know this and it can't be undone. It sounds as though you've bent over backwards for this person for decades, at considerable cost to yourself - which now includes violence towards yourself.

I would be asking myself on what basis I wanted to continue supporting this person, assuming they want to continue the contact. This is an opportunity for both of you to re-evaluate matters. You are not obliged to continue the friendship on the same terms if you choose not to.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Time to stop carrying her, then.


Doesn't matter what someone does, violence is never acceptable if you aren't getting your own way.


Personally, had someone tried that with me, purely in the pursuit of self defence, they would have been left on her arze in the front garden.


You don't need to speak to her ever again. There's no law that says you have to.

and the odds on her reporting that she has lost her emails following assaulting a long suffering friend whilst she is in the midst of mental illness? Unlikely.

and the odds on the rare occurrence she did report it, that the police would worry about her hotmail compared to her admitting/you advising that she has assualted you? Even less.


If she gets shirty, you could ask if she would like you to press charges for assault.


You don't have anything to worry about.

londonsurrey

Not all charitable acts are publicly lauded, and supporting a mentally ill friend can be a particularly thankless task. You will not get medals, you will not get pats on the back from other people, not in a way that particularly counts, as if the people who mattered are patting you on the back, they'd be supporting said mentally ill person themselves anyhow. And as you found out today, you put yourself in the line of fire. The only real satisfaction you can get is knowing within yourself that you were there for her to the best of your ability.

Today, you both lost it. And you're not proud of your behaviour. Fine, we all make mistakes.
The key to becoming someone you like is what you do about your mistakes. You can resolve not to do it again. And most importantly, you can not make the person you wronged pay for that mistake.

So, if you decide that she's gone too far, you can't stomach her any more, then that's your right. You're totally within your rights to make that decision.

The key is not to factor your embarassment and guilt into that decision. The woman should NOT lose a friend because said friend feels bad about deleting her emails! If you drop her, do it because you don't like her, not because you don't like your behaviour. Lol.

When evaluating a person with MH issues, I separate out two factors. This is not politically correct, but it's easily understood - a person can be mad AND bad, i.e. some people behave badly because they have MH issues. But in the same way a sane person can be a nice or nasty personality, so can a mentally ill person be a nice or nasty personality, it just can be a bit harder to tell. But you've known her long enough to stand a good chance of making that differentiation.

lilibet1

well you could go and see her today and tell her what you did and then offer to rectify it by putting the emails back into the in/out box from the trash folder?

This way, she hasnt lost her emails that might be very important to her and you have rectified what you know was a silly thing to do. She in turn can properly apologise and realise what she did was wrong and hopefully you can both move forward....

What do you think? Do you see that as a solution?

x